BM doesn't like my dress...? *Updated with flash of dress*

Ouch! I take it she knew you'd bought it? If that were the case I'd rather someone lie to me and keep their negative opinion to themselves as surely it's all about what you want on your day!!

Yes.

You obviously loved the dress on yourself, why else would you have bought it?? Nobody likes my dress, and that's without seeing it on me. Do I care? Do I heck, I love it, and my OH loves it, that's all that matters.

I wouldn't let one persons opinion put a dampener on things for you.

How rude!

Ignore her, it's your dress not hers and I am sure that you look blummin amazing!

If my BM didnt like my dress and I had bought it I would be a bit dissapointed, but I cant see what she has gained from telling you other than making you feel paranoid, if everyone loves it but more importantly you love it then thats all that matters.

WSS, as long as you are happy and love it thats all that matters. I'm pretty sure my bridesmaids arent overwhelmed by my dress but wouldnt ever say so - its just not their taste, but they love it because I do and it makes me happy and thats whats important.

Have you got a flash of you in it so we can give an opinion?

I risked a similar situation - I took my Mum dress shopping since a) I hadn't done that for my first wedding so wanted to let her have the experience and b) my friends all work midweek or live a long way away. Mum wasn't exactly positive about anything other than ivory bridesmaid dresses, and when I tried the one I simply didn't want to take off, was rather ambivalent ("it's not what you said you wanted" "it costs a lot doesn't it?"). I'd pretty much made up my mind, but a few weeks later when my best mate was free, I asked her to come with me to the shop to see what she thought. I only tried on the one I loved, and luckily she loved it too. Had she hated it, I don't know what I'd have done. I'd probably have listened to her and thought "grr, back to square one" because I would have appreciated her honesty. Just because I loved it doesn't mean it looked good. I mean I'm sure overweight people with muffin top midriffs and white leggings *think* they look good! A good friend would point out the flaws, I think.

Now, as above, I haven't seen the dress or you in it. If you're sure that you love it, and have seen pics of you in it as well and still love it, then get it!

Have to say I agree with the others. It's your dress, so if you love it that's the most important thing. I can't help wonder what your BM thought she would achieve by telling you her honest opinion. Strikes me as a bit heartless and insensitive. Still, you must remember that it is only her opinion - this does not make her opinion fact - I'm sure you look absolutely fabulous

xxx

I saw a girl getting a fitting done when i was in trying on dresses and i thought she looked awful in the dress. I later found out she was in for her final fitting. She was gushing over how much she loved the dress and how perfect it was. And i'm sure it was for her. i wouldn't have agreed, but my opinion is just that. mine.

There are hundreds of thousands of different bridal gowns out there in the world that you could have chosen, and you chose that one.

The question you should be asking yourself is do you think it's 'the dress'? and are you happy in it, because that really is all that matters at the end of the day.

You could always flash your dress to us! we're as impartial as your going to get! (and everyone does love a flash!)

I agree with MrsH to be.

It really depends if the dress isn't to her tastes (in which case then ignore her as you love it!) or if the dress just doesn't suit you.

I'd have wanted my BM to be completely honest with me. If I look cr*p in my dress, then I'd rather know before my wedding day.

Saying that, it's probably a case of different tastes and you can just ignore her! ?

Oh god! I hope that wasn't me! ? (just kidding)

x

How is it rude? You ask a BM what they think, presumably you want the truth? What's the point of asking otherwise? Just because the dress is a done deal doesn't mean that all opinions have to be positive. I was BM for my best mate a few years ago - she asked me to come with her to choose between the 2 dresses she had shortlisted. I said neither looked great on her, tbh. We then looked at a few more, I asked her to try on one that she wouldn't have even considered, and we both cried when she came out of the changing room - it was lovely, and ended up being the dress she chose. If you want a BM to help youu choose a dress, then at least consider the opinions! If the dress has already had a deposit paid on it, then if it's non-transferable to another dress, maybe best not to ask for opinions at all!

I find this very offensive and a little weird. I sense a jealous friend...?

It was over a year ago this happened, and plus, i'm sure you look fabulous in your dress!! as i'm sure the girl would have looked fabulous in hers on the day.

I kind of agree AND disagree. You would hope that good friends would be having a quiet word in their ear BUT if they think they look good, should it matter what everyone else thinks? Just because we might think that someone looks awful, doesn't mean that they DO look awful, it's just in our opinion. It might not be to our taste or whatever, but if the bride feels fantastic then surely that's the most important thing because then she'll project confidence on the day.

I agree that if you ask the question "what do you think?" then you're generally asking for an answer, but if it's known that the dress has been bought then I would have thought that the question is actually rhetorical and thus maybe requires a tactful response rather than actual opinion.

I haven't got a flash of me in it, but I do have a flash of the dress.

I'll post it!

Good Idea RKB

I feel for you but think as above its prob different tastes that have caused this, i took my MOH and CBM with me my MOH was fab told me to be open to options and told the assistant to choose what she felt would suit me its their job after all but my CBM kept getting out these rediculous cinderella dress's with mounds of sparkles from top to toe and i hated them but tried them all on she gushed over them but i think it was more the dresses than me in them as MOH quickly told her it was what she wanted for herself not what looked good on me and we ended up with something with very delicate detail that the assistant choose its a meringue but i love it she doesnt but she has been supportive since so cant complain. if you love it you love it its like when you ask someone does my bum look big in this quite frankly you either know it doesnt and want a compliment or know deep down it prob does. i bet you look fab send us a flash and we can tell you the truth if you have a pic of u in it good luck x x

I still think that if I wore a dress that was really horrible then I'd rather be told. By that I mean that it emphasied my worst features, like it was too low cut (as they don't suit my shape), etc.

I can describe it better in day to day clothes. If I tried to squish myself into jeans that were two sizes too small and thought I looked great but actually had a huge muffin top; or if I had white knickers under leggings, which you could see and I was just about to leave the house, then I'd rather know.

Thanks for all your replies.

You have made me feel alot better about it.

That's half the problem though, isn't it?

We don't want to look bad, which is why we ask for opinions. But if the opinions don't match our own it doesn't feel good.

IF we think we look good, it shouldn't matter should it?

OK, seen the dress now, and it's one I really like. However, there ARE some body shapes that would not suit. (OK OK, that's my opinion only, and I do mean shape, not dress size)

Flash when you have a pic of you in it, even if that's months away at a first fitting, and prove your BM wrong!

I agree with the above.

My friend bought a dress from China, which was awful, so she went to a bridal shop that was closing down to buy a new dress from their stock and asked me to go with her and give my opinion.

She tried on a couple of dresses, one of which I absolutely loved, and told her so, but she decided against it as it meant her weight could not fluctuate at all as it fitted her perfectly and was a button up back and as we were going on holiday and a hen do abroad within 2 weeks of her wedding she didn't want the pressure of watching what she ate and drank ! She then tried on a dress that was not my cup of tea at all, and I told her so, but she loved it and decided to buy it. It didn't look bad on her, it actually gave her a tiny waist, the dress was just not my style what so ever. She appreciated my honesty but as she loved it she didn't care !! If she didn't want my honest opinion as one her best friends then she should not have asked me !!

The dress is gorgeous is it alfred angelo?? i have my first appointment for dresses on saturday ive absoloutly fallen in love with one all ready but as every1 else keeps telling me to im going to be trying on different styles. To echo what a lot of hitchers have said i would rather know if it didnt suit me but the way people word things can be very harsh and i can see why your upset as i would be. xx

Ooh is that cinderella?? its very pretty but defo would not suit me would love to see a pic of you in it and as you have ordered it maybe the shop will let you take a pic now mine did after it was ordered but not before x

It looks very disney princess! I think it's beautiful!

Katie_lou - definately agree with everyone on that front. i had fallen in love with an alfred angelo gown with the coloured train and coloured detailing across the front. I was utterly convinced that this was the dress i was going to wear. Until i tried it on and felt nothing. I'm still wearing alfred angelo, but it's nothing like what i thought i'd end up in. Always keep an open mind.

But as for the gown in question in this thread. I think it's stunning!!

As someone who has this very beautiful dress also - I think you will look gorgeous!!

x

I don't know about my bm's as i've not shown them it on yet just a picture from the website and they seem to like it. However my own MOTHER does not. She says its too plain for me and thought I would go for something with more detail. I have tried to explain to her that I am adding my own style to it with a Broach but she still doesn't seem to get it.

I am personally not too upset about this as I'm going to be the one wearing it an so as long as I love it I am not bothered about others.

So that is what you should think its you wearing it and no one else as long as you like it then there shouldn't be any problems. You may not like hers if she ever gets married just like i didn't like my sisters. Its our OWN PERSONAL OPINION.

Hope this helps

Yes! It's the Alfred Angelo Cinderella dress!

Thanks so much guys! You have been very helpful as usual!

That dress is absolutely amazing! I am now in love!!!! adding it to my list of ones to try lol.

I agree with what everyone else has already said, if you feel nice in it then that's all that matters! It's your day and you could walk down the aisle in a bin bag and your H2B would still think you looked amazing!

(btw I'm not comparing this dress to a binbag - it is gorrrrgggeeeooousss!!!)

x

Your dress is amazing, your BM is not!!! Can't believe she would say that, has she never had the experience of speaking to a bride before?!

Don't fret about your dress, it is STUNNING. Mines is unusual and was worried what ppl might think at first, but though to hell with anyone who has bad comments, only listen to the nice ones heha - and put the bad ones down as jealousy, you will look perfect! x

Argghhh i can't believe i'm saying this but i was a BM and i didn't like the dress when she showed it to me! I felt bad and did the whole it looks nice but maybe you should try something else.. she knew i didn't like it... HOWEVER on the day with her hair and make up done i couldn't have been more wrong honestly she looked a million dollars and i eat my words...

So who cares what she thinks!! You'll look fab and like me she'll eat her words!

Stick with your heart x

I know everyone else has said so but your dress is stunning and you have nothing to worry about.

Personally I think there is a difference in giving an opinion before the dress is bought as to what it would be after you have bought it. Yes if you had shortlisted a few dresses that you liked and she didn't like any then thats fair enough and I think it's fine for her to express her opinion as then you have a choice whether to take that on board or not. But if you have already bought the dress and theres nothing you can do about it then I think by your friend saying she doesn't like it will only make you worry on the day about what you look like and what others will think of it.

I know if I didn't like the dress my best friend had bought I would keep my mouth shut and would expect my bm's to do the same, but thats purely because I wouldn't care if they liked it or not. As long as I do that's all that matters. It won't be to everyones taste but that's fine. x