Bridemaids - children or adults?

Are you close to the nieces? If you don't want five I would have either the two nieces or the three friends. Friends will be more fun/helpful, probably. Nieces will be more excited.

You have to go with who you want with you on the day, who you want to share it with. Smalls will be more for "show" than "support". Personally, my choice was friends (but we didn't have any children at our wedding, so no smalls to choose form!).

TBH - I don't really care about the 'support' they are my BFs so they will be helpful anyway and I have a big sister and a mam who will help and well then there is FMIL

You might need the support on the day more than you think (both emotional and practical)!

It's up to you re numbers etc but I think that at 11 and 12 your nieces are way beyond the excitable/running around stage! I'm guess that at least one of them will be at secondary school by then - so they should be capable of taking on practical tasks.

How about your friends as BMs and the two nieces doing readings or something?

You appear to be getting married against your will. You will need support. By the sounds of it, you will need someone to stop you legging it.

no readings - i do have some ground rules

What I mean by not bothered about the support is that my BF will give it to me anyway reguardless of being BM and my Sister and Mum will give me lots of support

So I was saying that I'm not bothered getting the support from the people labeled BM because that doesn't effect the support I will get

Have the nieces, they will love it and it will be cheaper.

On a more general note I do kind of understand where you are coming from re getting & being married - I am not that into it either and would very happily co-habit forever. The idea of being married makes me feel a bit old and tired tbh. ? However Mr Foo wants to be married, so we are doing it. I am actually quite enjoying the planning, although we are in a different situation as we are able to plan it all ourselves and are not being told what to do! But is there anyway you can try and enjoy the process? Just think of it as a really great party? It is happening anyway so you have nothing to lose really.

I deliberated this one and decided on only have flower girls and page boys. Mainly because i've got 5 best friends, 2 of whoom are gay men and i couldnt choose between any of them. Everyone has kids too and so their children are being hte page boys/flower girls along with my boys. Everyone seems happy with that and they are all coming to get ready with me in the morning and doing flowers etc. Its also saved me a fortune on dresses lol

Why not have your sister and nieces? That's what I'm doing.

Thanks ladies

Think I will go with the nieces

My sister is in her mid 40s and would have no interest in being a BM at all

My sister is nearly 40 and was really happy that I picked her and my best mate picked her godmother, who is also in her mid-40s and was really excited. But depends on the individual I guess, not the age.

To keep the numbers down I am just having 3 flower girls. Two ages 5 and one aged 2.

Seems like going with your nieces is the best option.

I would go with the adults personally.

I wonder how many would comment on gippdeer's lack of interest/involvement if she were the groom? It seems to be widely accepted that grooms don't take much interest, but that it's not okay for the bride to be the disinterested party.