Bridzilla moment or acceptable??

Bridezilla and actually really rude!

I would always tell my mum if I didn't like something she'd bought because I'd always want her to give me an honest opinion.

Is the jacket returnable? I'd give it to her saying you saw it and thought of her and if she likes it, all good, if not I'd take it back as forcing her to wear something is Bridezilla.

If it's not returnable then I wouldn't have bought it without asking her first.

I think it's Bridezilla *unless* your Mum isn't sure about the outfit. If she likes it and feels happy in it, then who are you to suggest otherwise? I know it's hard - my Mum turned up at my first wedding in a strange yellow suit (she said she was co-ordinating with my gold/ivory colour scheme) and a giant fascinator that swamped her. But she liked it. I did query it, but she was adamant she would wear it. It wasn't that bad actually, although comments were made by guests about "that dead bird on your Mum's head". Hmm.

This time round, she knows the BM dress and men's ties are teal, and has chosen a blue outfit. I haven't even given a thought to whether I like it or not - I have other things to think about and if she likes it, that's fine by me. If I were to buy sthg else for her after she's spent ££ on something, I think she'd see it as a bit of an insult.

If the jacket didn't suit my mum. I would have told her just that, nicely but honestly. She wouldn't have been offended and values my opinion, as do I hers.

I wouldn't buy her a replacement, unless she had previously agreed the original jacket did her no favours. And even then I would assume she wanted to check it out before I bought it for her. Especially as a present because then you feel obliged to wear it!.

I think it depends on your relationship with your mum...me and my mum are VERY honest with each other and to be honest i wouldn't have to sneakily buy her a new jacket as a gift i would be able to tell her outright that i didn't like it and we would look for something else together but thats only acceptable as that is the way our relationship works (she still tells me if im wearing to much make up etc!!) i think to buy it her as a gift is a little unfair as she will then feel pressured to wear it...if you have already told her you don't like it how about telling her you have seen this other jacket and that you will treat her to it IF SHE WANTS TO swap jackets? if she is happy with the outfit i don't feel that you can force her to wear something else, sorry! x

Very bridezilla

When you say the jacket/shrug is all wrong, what exactly do you mean? The colour, quality, shape, size, to old, too young etc etc etc. I also think it depends on your relationship with your Mum, some daughters can be blunt/rude in telling them what they like or don't like.

It is a little rude to just buy something else without even talking to her about it. How would you feel if she bought you a new veil because she did not approve of the one you bought? Turn the situation around and see if you would be happy to be treated like that.

Yeah I think it's a bit wrong - you should have mentioned something when she tried it on and as for giving her the new jacket as a mother's day present - to me that just seems really unthoughtful and a bit selfish...

Wowza. Don't think I would ever have the cojones to do that to my mum, and we are very close. She would be devastated if I ever did anything that could be regarded as a criticism of her appearance. Could you just talk to her instead?

If it were my mum, I would have been honest about it in the first place, then if she wanted to buy something else I'd have offered to shopping with her.

This. I actually feel sorry for your poor mum that the decision on what she's going to wear on her daughter's wedding day has been taken away from her.

You should talk to her.....not just force your clothes choice on someone who is ultimately guest at wedding and not member of bridal party!!

This ^^^^

I think you'd be better off speaking to her about it and maybe suggesting something that goes a bit better but ultimatley if she's happy with what she's chosen I'd just let her be.

Blimey didn't expect that reaction I thought it was funny! I didn't like explain though that I had said to her the jacket just wasn't right for the dress (too heavy, too hot for her on the day etc) and she actually agreed but couldn't find anything lighter but REALLY wanted something to cover her arms (and she hates shopping) so thats why I've been and bought it for her and it is returnable and of course she can wear what she wants but me and my mum get on really well and she'll find it funny and enjoy telling it as a 'bridezilla story'! Funny how differently people take things isn't it!

Very bridezilla.

All that matters is that your mum is happy with her outfit and feels comfortable in it.

Well what do you expect when you don't tell us that she'd already agreed it wasn't right and just hadn't been able to find an alternative? The way you phrased your OP was that you were going to dictate what she wears.

WSS.

If she's agreed her outfit is not quite right, you buying her an alternative isn't as bad.

Sorry.... Just posted it in a lighthearted manner which obviously didn't come across!

I was recently having an honest convo with my mum about her outfit, she already had a pink dressy outfit from a previous wedding (like 10 years ago lol) and she asked me what i thought. I told her honestly, she looked like a quality street fresh from the tin. lol we are now going dress shopping together which will be fun, i know she really values my guidance

Tizmelou - unlike most of the other posters, i think this is fine! she said she couldnt find anything she liked, agreed it wasnt right and you found her a replacement. I guess it depends on the kind of relationship you have - i know my mum wouldnt mind at all, she is VERY honest with me (cut your hair, that doesnt look right, why have you picked that etc) so i am just as honest back, and neither of us minds it! my mum has put me in charge of finding her an entire wedding outfit!

Agreed. Why tell half the story? If you'd have said this originally the reactions might have been slightly different.

WSS!!!

My mum would die! I haven't read through all the replies, so others might have suggested this, but the far better thing to do would be to not buy the jacket, but call your mum and tell her you think the jacket she has a lovely, but that you've just seen something you think she'll love even more, and would she like to see it and try it on? Then, if she likes it, it could be nice to then surprise her by saying, "why don't I get it for you for mother's day!"

On a side note- what your mum wears won't hurt you. If she likes it, let it be!!

ETA- in your OP you asked if this was bridezilla in such a way as to imply your mum would be offended.. maybe you phrased it wrong. I still wouldn't do it, though...

But the OP didnt say this in her original post. If she had have said that then the replies would have been different!

I think my mum would be very hurt if I did that.

She sometimes has a dress sense that is a bit 'eccentric' but thats her and I wouldn't change that about her in the slightest.

Was your mum happy with her outfit?

Bridezilla and deserving of a sit on the naughty step!

I really dont see the problem at all. xx

This!

There's been a spate of people giving half the information recently then getting upset when people react (not saying Tizmelou did on this occasion) to the information they've got and either backpaddling or come on with fairly essential additional remarks afterwards.

We can only base our views on what we're told!!! ?

I think some people aren't reading the whole thread here before replying ?

I think if you had mentioned in the OP that you had already spoken to your mum about the jacket and she had agreed that she wasn't too sure then people wouldn't have thought it so rude of you. I am going shopping with my mum as well to offer her advice on what she is wearing as she never wears dresses and is out of her fashion depth! We're not so close, but it'll be a good chance for us to have some time together.

I agree, I see what you all mean now I have read the whole thread, provide all the info then people wont be as abrupt!

I wasnt abrupt, I was just honest. The additional information the OP gave after has made me look rude now though.

Not at all Tricks. Loads of people said the same. From the information given you were bang on.