I found out last night that my granddad died on Monday. We've been estranged from him for years - MrSC has never met him and we've been together for nearly 8 years. My mum didn't find out straight away until the hospital got in touch - having traced her details as next of kin from some old details. For the past however many years my mum's cousin has acted as next of kin, helped my granddad out with stuff he needed etc. Don't get me wrong, I loved my granddad when I was little but as I grew up I realised that he might have been an alright granddad, he wasn't a good husband or father. The estrangement happened when my mum contacted the family lawyer to say she no longer wanted to be part of the power of attorney over my nana's assets as she wasn't happy with how he was dealing with my nana's affair (he was planning to buy himself a house in Spain with money that should have been kept aside for my nana's care). She had to do this as she was advised that if he got caught she would be held equally accountable and would be subject to criminal prosecution.
Since then he has told anyone who will listen how she stole money and property from him (she didn't), forced him to sell the house (no, the fact both he and my nana were in care homes forced him to sell the house), how her and my uncle (who he fell out with some time before my mum gave up on him) are b@stards and 'blood will out' (they're adopted). It's a smallish town and therefore it's pretty likely that people who know my mum have heard this and possibly believed it.
The cousin has apparently now washed his hands of the whole thing. Which leaves my mum and uncle to have to deal with the estate - there isn't a will so GOK what will happen there, luckily she's on good terms with the family lawyer so hopefully he will be able to help - and also clearing out his flat, which is appparently in a disgusting state (it's sheltered accom so while someone keeps an eye on them they have to look after themselves for the main part) and most of the contents will have to be disposed of. The one plus side is that they will be able to retrieve such family items eg photos that they want, and there is a picture that my nana painted for me that he took from her nursing home when she died - hopefully I will now get that back.
I just don't know how she's coping with all this and being 150 miles away I can't easily help - although I'll offer to go down tomorrow if she wants me to. It was unquestionably a good thing for her when they were estranged (and all his decision so no guilt), she had a heart condition which magically got better when she wasn't dealing with him anymore. However I'm pretty sure that it doesn't make her feel better about being an orphan. I don't know how I feel about it myself so GOK how she feels.
So I guess I'm asking for 'stay strong' vibes for my mum and uncle while they deal with all this. We're supposed to be going away for the weekend next weekend so I really hope that that can still go ahead - I'd be bloody cross if he had ruined that for us because we've all been looking forward to it so much. Sorry if I sound really cold but it's hard to explain how difficult this whole situation has been over the years - at my nana's funeral last year we all had to sit at the back so that there was no risk of him having a go at us in the middle - he still tried to go for us outside but luckily the church ladies were on the ball and diverted him.
