Children at wedding???

We are only having my children, close family children and 2 god children so about 17 on the list in total. I don't want loads and loads of kids at the wedding but I wouldn't not have any at all either, kids add to the fun! x

We have 4 page boys, so they will be there, and our friends who have kids are more than welcome to have them there all day, I wouldn't dream of gettin married without them there for both the day and the night.

I know some people don't want kids there, its personal choice, but if their parents are happy to bring them and with them being up late, we're happy for them to be there ?

I'm not a fan of kids at weddings (or in general ha) but we are having just 3 at ours just close family...I'm not sure how having children at reception but not ceremony would work....as surely the parents in attendance of the ceremony would need to find childcare anyway?

We didn't have children at our wedding. I work with children, see them everyday so wanted a day off! None of our friends had a problem with it, they all found childcare. We had one newborn.

I wouldn't be offended if my son wasn't invited to a wedding, it's the preference of the bride and groom. I get annoyed when people say 'oh but children make a wedding'. No they don't, the bride and groom do.

Do what you want to do, although be prepared that newborns will probably have to come.

We only had our niece and nephews.

If we had invited all the children from our guest it would of been an extra 23. None of my friends had any problem about it. I made sure they knew if it was a case of them all coming or not all, we would make an exception.

Our theme is 'family BBQ'. Of 60 day guests, 20 are kids. It's going to be a lot of fun (though I'm no fan of screeching newborns).

The evening guests won't have the option of bringing children. I think the evening is for grown-up fun.

I was a single mum for a long time and would have turned down any day invite that didn't include my son, for both practical and personal reasons.

We're having family children - about 8 on the guest list for the day and half are abroad so not sure if they will come. If friends are stuck for babysitters (only a couple have children) we will say they can come but we don't think that will happen. I'd prefer as few small children there as possible to be honest.

Without wanting to get into any debate here, as I know this is a topic that divides opinion, even if you'd have been given a significant amount of notice, would you still have turned it down?

We wont be having children at our own wedding.

When at a wedding as a guest, i'm not a fan to be honest. Perhaps it's the type of person I am or my background within education but I can't "switch off" and always feel at least partially responsible for other peoples children (in the sense that if I notice a child about to injure itself, upset, running wild ect I can't not intervene if they aren't being properly supervised by parents)

We do not want our friends and other family members to feel that same burden and are having a very non-child friendly wedding anyway.

Yes I would. I work full-time and for many years ridiculous amounts of hours. Weekends belong(ed) to my son so I just wouldn't have enjoyed it, would have found it hard to find a sitter and couldn't really have justified the time away from him.

Really close friends would never have asked that anyway, and people I'm not that close to would be fine if I declined so it's never been a problem for me. I don't feel angry towards those that make that choice. I don't understand their thinking or reasons but I know they have considered it and made a choice that's right for them.

WOW......strong topic then. I have decided not to have children for the day, only immediate family (It really bumps the price up for a sit down meal, 26 children just from friends). Children can come on the evening not a problem there is a extra room available so I may put some kiddy entrainment in there LOL.....

I reckon this is the biggest topic that splits opinion on these boards!

My thoughts, in all the weddings I've covered, the kids help liven things up...

There was a really divisive thread on this subject a few weeks ago (or more?).

I said it then, and I'll say it again, I think it's entirely up to the couple getting married whether they have kids or not.

I'm of the view that I don't want children at our ceremony or wedding breakfast, and I don't think it's appropriate for under-5's to being at a party late at night. They're more than welcome to run around during the drinks reception and be playing before the disco starts, but otherwise they are a no-go. To that end we are providing a creche service that will be there throughout the whole day and until about 11 at night, though parents can come and get the kids anytime they want to, and it's only just in the room next to the wedding breakfast room, so it's not like they're secluded off the other side of the property. The disco will be in a separate building, though, so if the kids need to fall asleep they can without loud noise keeping them up.

My sister and sister-in-law asked about this when we first started planning, as they will have a couple kids aged a few months and up to 2 years old at the wedding, and they wanted to be able to enjoy themselves without worrying about the babies.

I get very frustrated and angry with people who try to tell me that I'm being a horrible person for not wanted children to take part in my wedding. I don't dislike children in general, but I'm not a parent and I don't want my day being over-run with other people's children!! (but I also don't want people to not be able to come because they can't bring their children - hence the creche)

I'm in the "as few children as possible" camp. Can't bear the noise of kids screaming. We luckily have very few friends whose kids are in that age bracket, so it's not too much of an issue when it comes to invitations. We will be inviting children only where we know the parents will not be able to come without them (very young babies) or if the kids mean something to us, like my best mate's little boy (5 years), who I consider to be my nephew. I know I can trust him to be well-behaved and for his parents to sort him out if he's not!

Everyone else either has teen-types who can look after themselves or go to mates' houses for the weekend, or has easy childcare options.

I think that, seeing as everyone knows that we're not kiddy people, it would be more stressful for parents to have to worry about keeping their kids under control all weekend. If we loved them ourselves and enjoyed watching them running around screaming, they'd be able to relax. But we're not. So they wouldn't.

All children are different. Some will run riot and disrupt whatever they can and some will be perfect quiet little angels. But if you think about it the same can be said of adults. I never understand people who say "I don't like children." They're just people but smaller and lots of them are quite capable of being as sensible (or more so) than adults. No one is born as an 18 year old!

I think in terms of your wedding you need to think about the children you're potentially inviting and their parents. If you think they'll be sensible, or you trust their parents to have the common sense to take them out if they're not, then I don't think you have a problem.

From personal experience the 3 kids at our wedding (2, 6 and 12) were brilliant.

My OH and I have just got to this topic ourselves. Our friends have a lot of children between them so it's going to be a big decision.

I must say though, the last 2 weddings I've been to, children spoilt the most important parts for me, the vows and the speeches. Crying, running around and fidgiting in church and playing up in the quiet of the speeches, loving the fact that when they shouted it echoed around the room during the speeches, meaning I heard none of it. To me, it's not the child's fault of course, but the parents, but discipline is becoming an increasing problem these days. The child being naughty in the church was the Maid of Honours son which I felt made it even worse! He was eventually escorted outside by his father, only to continue outside where we could all still hear him anyway, it really was a shame, after all you only say your vows once.

For that reason, I am leaning towards no children, but I know it won't be a popular choice so I have to be certain enough in our decision to be able to defend it to people who will challenge it, so the pros and cons lists will continue!!

xxx

Jimjams, if you can afford it - offer a creche service. In my case, since all the parents would have otherwise had to have found childcare, they offered to contribute that cost towards getting the creche, so we have 5 sets of parents contributing, which means the added cost is negligible when compared to possibility of children screaming during our vows.

Unfortunately no, our budget is the tightest of tight which is why we started the conversation about children initially. Our guestlist needs to be kept minimal to save money and children are a big part of that.

If people were to offer to cover the cost of course that is a different matter, but our ceremony and reception are separate and some people don't feel comfortable leaving their children with "paid strangers", so it's pricing hard to find a solution that would please everyone.

Xxx

I was at a wedding yesterday with 6 'talking' toddlers. Throughout the service, two little boys were talking (to their parents) and this really distracted me from listening to the service. They were all godchildren of the bride so I hope that she didn't mind - I would have done. I was annoyed that the parent didn't take the child outside if it was so incapable of being silent when asked. This is now worrying me about my wedding as it wouldn't occur to me to not invite children.

At the reception drinks the little ones were fine as we were outside so they could run around and they were in photos which I think is lovely. The bride then had arrangeed a room with a lady from the venue who was happy to sit with children as they slept. Children weren't supposed to be at the meal (there were 150 adult guests) but a few were brought in by parents after the main course as they had woken up and the arrangement was that the lady wouldn't 'babysit'. I'm sure many parents left with their toddlers after the meal.

I think that allowing children to part of the day and not all of it can cause problems for parents. If you do this then maybe ask parents if they would contribute to a sitter during the service, but one that will watch them when they are awake! Can you sound out parents to see if they would be interested in this before making your decision? Bear in mind that if children attend the reception you will have to provide food and seats for them so will need to add this to your budget too.

There are so many threads about this on hitched. If you use the search function you can find years worth of debates on the subject that hopefully will be some help.

Persoanlly, can't think of anything worse than kids at a wedding. Ours were packed off after the ceremony!

We're having my partner's boys and that's it. We both decided to blanket ban everyone else's children. To be honest it's gone down well, people have just been more happy to pack their kids off for the day and have some grown up time! It was a tricky decision as we were first thinking just family kids but then realised other people who had made the effort to find childcare might be disappointed! If your budget is tight remember that feeding kids will add a lot of extra cash to your food bill!!

We didn't want any children but have to invite one, as her parents live in Hong Kong so they can't exactly leave her there. Although I doubt that her and her parents will come as they don't really like coming back to the UK. But if she does come, I am quite excited about making her a goody bag!

All our other guests with children are happy to have them babysat for the day/night. Including my bridesmaid's little boy (who'll be 14 months by the wedding).

We are having children at the wedding but most will be going to babysitters in the evening to allow their parents a night off so to speak . It is entirely a personal decision.

Totally agree! I am looking at having no children at my wedding and my future "Sister in law" is being really difficult... it's a nightmare! You feel like you have to change your plans to suit others!

A big positive vote for kids at weddings for me !

Apart from making a very significant and positive impact on your wedding photography, they also keep the day fun and informal and full of smiles.

Yes they can be a nuisance at times but from my experience of hundreds of weddings, the positives hugely outweigh the negatives !

I'm not really worried either way to be honest.

I am not a child person as such (not maternal really), but my OH has 2 children from a previous relationship, so there would be no question that they would be coming to the wedding, and so all of their cousins etc. would be there as well.

It probably wouldnt even enter my head to say "no children allowed" even if OH didnt have children. Weddings are family orientated in my head.

There will be 18 children at mine, including 2 of my own. Both our families have quite a few kids and have a way to come so they are all invited. Gonna make sure we have entertainment for them.

We didn't have any children at our wedding, except for my younger brother who was 10 at the time. Other than him no-one else was under 18. Most people were fine about it, except my uncle who, after receiving his invitation, went and booked a skiing holiday for him and his family (most under 18) over the weekend that we were getting married! No great loss.

We now have 2 children ourselves and if we were getting married now we would still not want anyone elses children there. I also would probably prefer not to take my own children (2 and 7) to someone elses wedding because I simply can't relax and enjoy myself when trying to make sure that they behave appropriately throughout the day. Actually, i'd be more likely to take them if invited to evening only as there is no need to keep them quiet during vows or speeches, which is the worst part (my son only has 1 volume and its LOUD!!!!). ?

We're having about 10-12 children at our wedding. I wasn't sure what to do either as I don't have kids but our close family have a few young ones. Also a number of people are travelling an hour to the venue so not really fair to ask them to leave them with family or a sitter. I also work with young children and wasn't keen to have lots of bored children interrupting the key moments. We have put aside some budget for a creche as it felt like the best compromise. We are going to have the children in the ceremony as that important to us but I'm going to provide busy bags with a few quiet distraction items in e.g. a book, toy, packet of raisins, bubbles etc. and ask parents to sit towards the back incase they need to make a quick exit for toilets and crying children etc. We are going to have the creche for 3.5 hrs to cover the wedding breakfast and speeches ( the most boring bits for kids). Children will eat in the creche so they can be served their food much quicker than the main dining room. The creche company provide activities and will hopefully keep the kids occupied so they don't get restless. For our evening entertainment I'm going to ask that children vacate the evening reception by 8pm. We have a buffet at 8.30pm and adult only entertainment follows that. We have to cap at 12 kids though as the creche price goes up after 12 so still will have to disappoint 1 or 2 friends so still not perfect but I think it's the best way to go.

We are not invivitng any children, the best man will have a child who will be about 1 and a half by our wedding next year and that is the only child we would consider having and they have already said she can go to their aunties house for the wedding, so that was their choice. I think it would be different if we had children but we don't and I have to say I think it would irritate me if they couldn;t keep quiet through the ceremony or were running around everywhere. It wont be a massive problem for any of our gesust though, most of them either don;t have children or have teenagers who wouldn't be a problem. I also think weddings are usually very boring for children, having to be quiet, sit still etc for several hours during the ceremony and wedding breakfast!

I do think it is personal preference though and people should respect the bride and groom's wishes.

Do you mean the meal or just evening reception? If the meal you have to seat and feed them which could get expensive if you haven't budgeted for it! I think it depends on the age of children to some extent but I wouldn't really want to be away from my child at the weekend and if it involved an overnight stay it would have to be a no because we just don't have anyone to have her overnight.

I'm quite lucky because not many guests have children and out of the 10 children we're having, 7 are babies too young to really eat or need a highchair (my NCT group) so it doesn't add to cost too much. Those babies (except mine!) are also not coming to the ceremony because the venue has limited numbers and it made most sense not to invite them because it can be quite stressful trying to keep a baby happy at a wedding. A few have said they'll take them to grandparents for the evening so they can get drunk and enjoy themselves though so not everyone wants them there!

I think it really depends on the circumstances of your individual guests and what you want to do when deciding what the best thing to do for your wedding is.

It makes me a little bit sad when people say they don't want children at their wedding. To me, weddings are real family occasions and the only time you can justify getting drunk in charge of a child (joke) ?

We have a son ourselves so maybe my view is determined by this but for me our wedding wouldn't be the same without our young family members and friends' children.