Children behaviour question - Help!

I dont know about boarding at all - so cant really comment.

It does sound like the child is craving attention though. If I were you I'd take her to live with me before I'd send her to boarding school.

Thanks Eric, I'm going to suggest it..

Thing is, we've mentioned to ex in the past that we'd like the kids to come and live with us, as there's better schools here that are closer (she'd have to get a driving license and a car to take the two of them into Newcastle every day when they reach secondary school otherwise) but she's always seemed very negative towards it in the past..

Let's try again shall we!!

You sound like a really nice stepmum and fair play to you for even considering it - I know its difficult.

I'm a bit relunctant to label children when they're so young - she's probably just inquistive ? But she's very lucky to have someone like you on side.

I think asking if they can live with you first is a good idea as well. Mr G went to boarding school at 7 but then he asked to go as it was a singing related one, and I think the schools around where they lived weren't that good anyway.

Good luck!

Awww thanks Eric ? the kids are great, they're getting to a really fun age now where you can have word games with them, and you can see them excel at school.. Even if stepdaughter apparently isn't!

The subject of boarding school has come up in the past, with the ex saying she wants all 3 kids (she's got another one after Jnr Smith - we've only ever met the boy once so we're not taking responsibility for him) to boarding school for secondary school. And stepdaughter has told us she'd like to go. But I'm not sure if the ex has sat there and told her stories of how great boarding school is etc.

Thing is as well, that if she IS sent to boarding school, it'll be even MORE tricky to get to see them once a month..

Thanks Gryfon!

I think that's different - I remember applying for one of the private schools in Sweden (there's like 3 in total ?) for music and that had the option of becoming boarder.

Luckily for me, I didn't get in!

Would the children be happy being permanently seperated from their brother and their mum if they come to live with you (apart from visits)? Would there be any sort of resentment or upset from them that their mum "kept" their brother and not them (looking at it from their eyes).

With regard to boarding school, if she did want to go, there are lots of schools that do weekly boarding and then they come home for weekends.

I've got a stepson, who is now 17 and he stays with us every weekend and sometimes for 2 weeks at a time. He also always comes on holiday with us. Over the years there have been times when his mum has said that "that's it - I'm sending him to live with you" but she has never followed through with it, even though we would have happily taken him. Thing is, as much as he loves his dad, he loves his mum as well, no matter how inconsistent she was, and when push came to shove, he would never leave her.

Obviously I don't know what their home life is like on a daily basis, but it is a huge commitment on all sides, and they do change when they live with you for a length of time and you are in a daily routine of life rather than having short visits ( we had my stepson for a month and saw all facets of his personality even though he is a fantastic lad the small things like getting him to do homework, getting up for school, tidying up, etc showed a different side of his normally laid back character - it wasn't all fun and he missed his mum dreadfully which showed in some of the things he did which he normally wouldn't do!!!!)

Good luck with whatever you decide to do - I think you are fantastic for being open to a permanent move for them, and have probably taken into account all the above anyway!

I think considering to send your daughter to boarding school would be a good idea. Studying in an all girls boarding school would teach her discipline. Discipline is the first and probably most significant aspect. Teenagers are young adults and, as parents, we want them to take more responsibility. We want to give them their independence but we want them to be careful and considerate of themselves and others. They would be under the watchful eye of staff 24 hours a day. And boarding schools have routines with eating, bathing, studying, etc. Students need to adhere to the timetable in all aspects of life and this is where discipline plays such an all-encompassing role. Good luck.

Hi - boarding school is great, but 8 years old? I only knew one girl at my school who'd been going that long, and she was quite...I don't know how to put this, but she wasn't very secure in herself. For me, 8 would be too too young to send away my children.

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