Children on public transport

I remember always having to sit on my Mum's knee on the bus so other adults could sit down, I think that it should be like that.

Couple of years back, on the tube I had a woan sit beside me. Young daghter of about 6/7 was standing by our seat.

"I know you're tired" said the mother "And if the gentleman would get up you could sit beside mummy".

I was a tad disappointed not to have any really icky things to start eating at that point

Alas this happens pretty frequently. I often get a bus home from work & feel anoyed about kids being anywhere near me during rush hour ? What really gets my goat is when young children constantly press the button for the bus to stop. And I mean constantly. I don't know how the drivers manage to stay in their seats and not lamp the little darlings!

Of course, other people have travel needs too, so I would rather keep my thoughts to myself, but it can make my bus journey home long & Painful. I prefer to walk, even though it's nearly 3 miles

I always think of it the other way round: I'd usually give up a seat for a kid (not a teenager, but a young'un, maybe up to 10 or so) especially on the tube as they can't reach the handles to hold on!

They are in my mental 'priority' group, along with (obviously) pregnant women and (very) elderly people (so as to not offend).

I only have small ones (under 4) but unless there are seats readily available then we all stand, I usually have to with the pushchair anyway. If I can get P (3 yr) to sit down then yes it is safer for her instead of her pinging from pillar to post or rather strop at me because I won't let her ping from pillar to post (I don't have a double pushchair). They will be well and truly encouraged to offer others their seats when they are older as after they simply don't need to sit down in comparison to others (elderly, pregnant etc).

One question though, how old before they are considered "child" and not "toddler"? Technically P is a preschooler at 3 but at what point do I start quantifying her as a child?

I remember being on a train (I think, it may have been a bus - it's along time ago now!) as a child with my parents and sister. An elderly couple got on with their grandchildren who were a similar age to me and my sister. Me and my sister stood up to give the couple our seats - and they ushered their grandchildren into them. Never, either before since, have I more wanted to say something but not done

I would have given up a seat for a 6 or 7 year old. Totally different situation IMO to giving up a seat for a teenager.

6/7 could have sat on mummy's knee....or mummy could have stood up if her child was tired.

It annoys me too. I gave my seat up recently to an elderly gentlemen and was with my 3 yr old son at the time. This prompted endless questions from my son as to why I was getting up, why I was giving my seat to the man etc (He is very inquisitive). This has now backfired on me as everytime the bus is busy, he comments loudly, "Mum the bus is busy, do you need to get up now and let that man/woman sit there?". Great way to make me feel guilty but at least I guess this will help him to be considerate in the future but not great for me when Ive been all day in work running about ?

Why is an able bodied adult any more deserving of a seat than your average able bodied pre-teen/teen though? I certainly don't recall giving up my seat on the bus for random adults when I was that age.

I agree. I don't get the automatic 'deferring to adults' thing.

WSS

I've given up a seat to an adult with a small child with them (so child could sit on their knee), people with mobility problems and pregnant ladies. Everyone else is fair game in my book.

I remember plenty of children pushing past adults to get seats in the mid 80s ?

I think a child under the age of six could easily sit on their parent's lap freeing up a seat for a full fare paying passenger. Makes sense to me.

I agree with Foo

My children are 9 and 10 we use public transport nearly every day if there is a seat available then they sit, if a pregnant woman, elderly person or younger child is standing then I would make them stand or sit on my lap but I would not make them stand for an able bodied adult. If there was only 1 seat then one of them would sit before I would.

I was definitely taught to give up my seat to an adult, right up until I was an adult myself. I was quite saddened the other day to see a group of teenage girls shoving adults out the way to get to seats. I can still remember being 13, on the bus with my group of mates and us all standing up, en masse, to let adults sit down (and we were in no way model teens).

It's just common courtesy and respect in my book. [shrug]

When I was a teenager I used to push past the best of them to grab a seat and that was in the late 80s/early 90s. Maybe it wasn't so great back then after all.

I wouldn't expect a teenager to stand for me.

But why should teens 'respect' adults by giving them up their seats when they are not 'respected' in return? Would you give up your seat for another able-bodied adult?

Why should they be seen as somehow inferior?

WSS with bells on. I wouldn;t expect my children to give up their seat for an able-bodied adult, but I also wouldn;t expect an adult to give up their seat for my children either. I once offered my seat to an elderly gentlemen on the tube only for him to refuse, then the next stop a man offered his seat to him and he accepted. His wife apoloigised to me saying that he was embarrised to take a seat from a women, I was a tad mortified that I obviously offended him but what can you do?

It's more about having respect for your elders, I think. That's the way I was brought up anyway. And to be honest, I think it's a lovely thing to teach our children.

Yes, until said child won't sit on knee because she is determined to be as independent as possible and becomes a whirling ball of legs, arms and screeching in a fashion that makes the parent turn an attractive shade of beetroot and want to sink into the ground in humiliation. Mind you as I said I generally stand with the pushchair and get her to sit down alone if there is a seat available and if not she stands (and yes I would make her come and stand for someone more in need of it that her by proxy of me).

I'm with you Katchoo.

Why can't she sit in her pushchair if that's still up?

I was made to stand for adults and, like Ostrich, I just think it's a nice thing to do.

Because the baby is usually in there. She usually does stand with me, but if there is the option of a seat then it is her bum on it directly or scream city (which is mostly why she stands with me...).

This (respect afforded to you according to age) is an idea I totally disagree with and imho it's behind some of the problems teenagers have with self-identification, gangs etc - they are made to feel inferior just because of their age.

I think everyone should be equally respected, regardless of age.

I'm with katchoo and ostrich. sod this 'teenagers are equal to adults, adults have to earn their repspect not expect it' lark.

why can't kids show a few basic manners without it becoming a self-esteem issue?

Do you respect your elders in that kind of blanket fashion though? I definitely don't and I won't be teaching my son that he should always defer to adults, just because they're older than him. Some adults are twats. ?

I don't think being asked by my mum to give up my seat for an adult affected my self esteem. May even have made me the considerate commuter I am now.

Why can't adults show 'a few basic manners' to teenagers?

hoping a youth would give up his seat for someone elder to him is not displaying bad manners though. i'm not saying i'm expecting it by any means but i would think very highly of a youth who was well brought up enough to do so.

i can't see why youths learning that the whole word doesnt revolve around them is such a bad thing. i'm pmsl at the thought of these kids going into the workplace expecting 'equality' from day one.

Think you missed my point: if giving up your seat is good manners, then surely you should display good manners by giving it up to them?

Or if you're fussy about age, should I give up my seat for someone 6 months older than me? 5 years? 10 years? Where's the cut off? I certainly don't plan on routinely giving up my seat to middle aged commuters, so I don't see why that should apply to teenagers.

I just don't think age automatically means you should be more respected <shrug>.

Isn't it to do with a child paying a half fare? That's what I was always taught, that it was the 'done thing' to give up your seat to someone who had paid more for it. But then, I suppose that doesn't work when you apply it to those of pensionable age, who sometimes don't pay anything these days!

As for automatic respect for your elders, I don't see any harm in a kid being generally respectful to adults, unless the adult shows themselves to be unworthy of respect. Just my opinion, obviously.