Today was probably the worst day for me since all this shit began.
I think he may lurk and yet I dont feckin care - hitched is my thing and sometimes I need it.
Today started off ok, but the three of us were booked in for the dentist at 4pm. We each needed fillings - but it was Niamhy's first filling and I assumed (wrongly as it happens) that they did white fillings on children. So I went first, and the guy is different - it was a new dentist, about 12 years old (not really but you know...), so immediately I was 'Where's Liam?' So, Liams gone. So new guy, fine for me and the big lad but my daughter is very nervous and was used to the other guy who was brilliant with kids.
Anyhoo, he fixes me up, then the big fella, but N is nearly hysterical at this point, so they give her gas, and because I dont drive, I had to tell R to ring my dad from work to come up to the surgery and wait for us. Then he starts filling and I realise its not white, and I mention this, and he says if I want white I'll have to pay 30 quid. I ask if it has to be paid today. He says yes.
So suddenly I'm weeping silently like a loon because if her dad had been there, or even if the brutal fecker hadn't frozen all our accounts or all my access to money which I know is just feckin sitting there then the child could have white. I thought that if I'd just cancelled the feckin appointment, or he'd told me it would be silver before he gave her gas and started drilling....
So now her first filling is silver. I'm only comforted bythe fact that its way at the back and you can hardly see it. Its a small comfort.
Then, there's more...
We're all having dinner and N's phone rings. Her dad is enquiring about her dental visit. How did he know?
Well it transpires that the big fella, rang him from the surgery today. From my mobile.
Yes, the man who has countered my own non-molestation order with his own, has been receiving numerous calls from my mobile from son no. 1. Whose defence was that he 'had no credit'. So now fecker has a call-log from my mobile. On numerous occassions apparently.
I'm really not coping.
