Deflated and wobbling...

She sounds like a bit of a tw@t to be honest.

It's your day, and if you and OH love it then that's all that matters...she should keep her nasty opinions to herself.

Any pics of the venue? We can reassure!

Also, I'd tell her to do one about seeing your dress.

I wouldn't worry. Sometimes our parent's generation speak without thinking first. If you loved your venue enough to book it and it ticks all your boxes then who gives a monkeys what she thinks? I've never been to a wedding and thought "ugh!" - I'm usually pleased that I've been invited to something so special in the first place. Usually I'm not bothered what other people think but I have found that since getting engaged I'm more sensitive about wedding stuff that I would be normally. I showed my MIL the picture of my dress and her initial comment was "are you going to put straps on it?" - er, no, it's strapless!! Then I started panicking that she was inferring I was too fat to wear a strapless dress! Eek! But then I decided that I love it and that's all that matters.

So, just chill out, and relax. Anywhere looks "plain" without all the wedding stuff in it - I'm sure you'll make it look beautiful and how YOU want it to be.?

This. my mum is always saying stuff that i think is really rude, but you sometimes have to just ignore her. And once you have dressed up the venue, it will look beautiful I'm sure, sometimes even the most 'plain' venues are totally transformed once everything is in there.

And tell her to bog off if she says anything about your dress, if it makes you feel happy, you will look amazing!

I'd tell her that you would like to keep the dress a secret so it's a surprise for everyone on the day.

But flash it here

Also, flash your venue.

....

Are you freaking kidding me? It looks fab. I'm not usually a fan of the beamed barn venue but that's lovely. Especially the colour scheme with gray/silver ribbons (third row down).

Thanks. I know i need a bit of a confidence boost. Just need to try and park her to one side

I'm dreading wedding dress fitting now. I saw hers so i can hardly say she can't see mine gutted

Oh yes you can.

That venue is gorgeous take no bladdy notice of her!! And as someone who had a nightmare with letting the MIL get too involved, put your foot down NOW whilst you still have ages to go. Otherwise she will take over everything and be a nightmare. I seriously wouldn't show her your dress. Did your OH say anything to her?

The venue is gorgeous and it's important that you like it.

I know how you feel, I am getting married in October 2013 and have booked my venue but I had serious pressure from my parents and my H2B's parents. I loved one venue but they complained and I quote "no, the toilets are too close to the dancefloor". Then they all agreed it wasn't the venue. Whilst me and my H2B thought it was perfect. I'm extremely happy with the venue we have now, it's gorgeous and I was so hacked off with it all I almost just told them to go and that they can let me know what was wrong with it when they returned (bridezilla moment!).

My parents also tried to strong arm me into picking a venue I hated but I stood my ground. I don't think they realise they are being so harsh sometimes.

All I can say is pick your battles, that's what I'm doing. Also if you don't want her there pick a day you know she's having her hair done or something!

K

Your venue is GORGEOUS!.. You cant please everyone, as long as your happy. Enjoy the rest of your planning.

The venue is gorgeous! xx

Your venue is gorgeous - tell her you want to keep the dress a secret and for her to butt out or just remind her she had her way on her day and now its your way on your day

Beautiful venue - Obviously she has very bad taste! Remind yourself of that if she makes any comments about your dress. What did hers look like?

I love Crondon Park! I would have considered it for us, but it's a bit far into Essex as we have guests coming from Hertfordshire and we are right on the border. It is gorgeous, so you have nothing to worry about at all.

Who wouldn't like that venue?! Gorgeous!

You've all just made me cry! Thanks so much for all your kind comments xxx

It's a lovely venue, ignore her! I wouldn't show her your dress. Take her to see a different one thesay you changed your mind last min :p x

hehe what a cheeky idea, i love it!

just incase enough people hadnt said it yet that venue is beautiful!

That venue is lovely! It doesn't matter what anyone says as long as the both of you are happy, shes proberly just jealous anyway!

Sounds like a bit of jealousy to me. "oh, it's very plain. Not like what we had at our wedding at all". Glad you've booked it, it's gorgeous.

Can you compromise and take her dress shopping but not actually tell her which dress you eventually get? Assuming you haven't already got it?

That venue is gorgeous!! It looks so different with each wedding having its own personal touches and colour schemes - yours will be just as beautiful!!

When she makes another comment about the venue, just keep in mind the reasons why you both loved it so much!

Your venue is stunning! its exactly what I want, but can't find anything like it in midlands (help anyone?) Its anything but plain its totally gorgeous and I would completely ignore her, its probably jealousy etc. And yes you can tell her to stick it as far as the dress is concerned, I would ?

x

I agree with everyone above, your venue is absolutely gorgeous. Considering how many venues we all must have looked at between us, I think us Hitchers know what we're talking about too ?

Try and put her comment out of your mind, it's not fair for anyone to make you feel like this about something you should be really excited about.

Hope we've helped put your mind at rest x x

What! is she paying the bill or something. I always think the wedding planning is preparation for the rest of your lives together so if you don't deal with her now you will set the precedent for the way you bring up your kids, decorate your house etc.

What does your H say? The venue looks stunning, but we haven't seen it "undressed" so to speak, did it look a bit plainer, has she seen it on the website decorated?

As for the dress NO ONE has the right to see it and the best way to deal with that is just to be coy and say it's a suprise for the day. Only me and my mum saw mine, she came with me to find it.

And this is the most important thing.

Seriously - nip it in the bud now, with three years to go you'll be mithered to bits if you let other people have too much of a bearing on your plans.

Trust me I'm well-versed in dealing with PITA MILs .... Don't let her affect you or any decisions you make! That venue is seriously lovely, (a million hitchers can't be wrong!) You can absolutely not show her your dress. My MIL2B has been asking tons of questions about all my details and ive purposefully been very vague, and told her that I don't want anyone to see my dress, or even know about it in advance. It's YOUR day. Just because she did it differently doesn't mean you owe her anything.

The venue is absolutely beautiful. I've gone for a barn with a similar look but it's nowhere near as nice as yours! I think someone has already said it but it sounds like jealousy to me. Did you say her wedding was a budget one? She's just gutted you've got something nicer.

Then again sometimes people from the older generation really like function rooms in hotels with psychedelic patterned carpet. Not to my taste at all but maybe she was expecting something like that. Either way it's absolutely not for her to make comments like that.

Before you gave us the link to the venue I was expecting it to be a very plain meeting room in a holiday inn or equivalent. You can make those into something with the decorations but your venue has it all already.

If I was you I wouldn't let her near the dress. She's obviously got different taste or she's jealous so will say something mean. It doesn't really matter what she thinks at the end of the day. If you love it and your future husband do her snotty opinion can swing for it.

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Just wanted to echo what the others have said, your venue looks lovely - don't listen to your MIL!! Also do not show her your dress if you don't want to, she can't force you to. You need to put your foot down now so that she doesn't keep asking over the next three years.

Hi, I have actually just created an account upon reading this just to reassure - like the others - that your venue is stunning. Nothing plain about it at all. I agree that when un-dressed, venues can look plainer, but seriously, anyone can see this is beautiful.

Don't feel pressured to let her see your dress. It was her choice to let you see hers, but that does not automatically give her the right to see yours. My MIL wanted to come dress shopping with me too, and I simply said I only wanted my own mum and sister to come with as I want it to be a surprise on the day (which is true!).

It sounds like you have a good relationship with her normally. Perhaps if she only had her wedding recently and is already estranged from her husband, this might be a difficult time for her and is bringing out some bitterness. Hopefully this won't last long and you can get back on track with her. x x x