Did you have a say over stag do's?

I'm not having any input in his stag and he had no input in my hen. Not that we don't talk about them, of course we tell each other what we're planning to do, but I trust him and our best man so they can plan what they like! I have too many other things to do in the wedding planning to worry about the stag ?

I really didnt want to be seen to be telling H2B what to do for his stag do, but i tried to drop as many hints as possible of what i really didnt want him to get up to, obviously not enough!!!! a she ended up in a strip club and had a lap dance - now ok i know some of you dont see a problem with this but i do have quite strong feelings on why would someone want to do that when they are in a committed relationship and about to get married! i ended up in a right state about it last night and have told him i will never see his BM and Brother in law in the same light again, We had quite a discussion about it all last night and now i feel awfull for putting a dampner on what was a good weekend away for him but i also felt i had to tell him how it made me feel to enable me to move on from it and accept it. His Bestman had told him he wasnt to tell me anything but even though its made me feel crap im glad he has, if he hadnt and i had found out later on down the line im not sure i could have even tried to understand.

I don't know how I'd feel if Mr B had a lapdance, even though I trust him I'm sure it would make me feel a little funny. I hope you're Ok now, and it's good that you discussed it so you can move on x

No, I have no say over what's going on. I trust h2b though and don't think they'll get up to anything very bad!

Our BM is married to my best friend so even though its suppossed to be a secret i know everything...and he is having a stripper...which i am ok with. It does make me wonder a little i suppose but its only like seeing them on page three and its his stag after all ...its not like he is doing it every wk end. But each to their own, he will tell me about it after i know as we do tell each other everything.

I do understand others feeling funny about strippers and lap dances but in my opinion the Groom chooses who he marries and spends the rest of his life with. If he wanted to roam he wouldnt want to settle down xx

I had no say but I said no touching another woman! I dont think you can have a say, sure there are rules but no real say, they might just do it behind your back and Id prefer to know what they got up to. Most of the time its just n excuse to make the stag look like and idiot and get stupidly drunk!

My H2B was taken to a strip club but it was a cheap place in london and no lap dancing. He told me, but he didnt go away for the weekend and came home afterwards and i trust him completely.

Also very happy he told me, Im not allowed to mention it to his friends wives though as some of them would get really upset, so he said. I much prefer that he doesnt keep secrets

Anyway he said it was really lame!! But went along with it for the boys, he didnt even want a stag!

I'm not having a say in what my OH is doing for his stag just as he isn't having a say in what I do. He's doing It's A Knockout with loads of mates in Bournemouth, getting blind drunk, going to a comedy club and also playing golf quite a lot (having a couple of stags!) I trust all the boys he's going with although I am concerned about what they will make him wear! Last two stags were dressed up as Pammy Anderson in a swimsuit & wig and one as Borat in a mankini (I have never looked at the last guy in the same way since).

I don't think ladies should have a say in their OH's stag do, I agree that they should know where they are going (the city, what activity) but I don't need or want to know what they all got up to! Is your mate concerned because her OH isn't telling her anything about his plans?

To be honest I dont care what they do on the stag i.e. paintballing, adventure course, comedy club, whatever - as long as there are no injuries that will affect the wedding!

However, my H2B knows exactly my thoughts on strippers and strip clubs. I've said to him if he was taken to a strip club I wouldnt expect him to not go in, but I dont agree with them in the slightest. I definitely would not want him to have a lap dance! I trust him enough that he'd respect my views, but I wouldnt want him to look lame in front of his mates. I dont really trust his BM or friends to not take him to a strip club, hence I have given lots of hints e.g. the fact that my dad and his dad will be there!

I think boys dont think about the practicalities of these things and have grand plans about going abroad and making a weekend of it, so I've made sure he does think things through properly i.e. not everyone will be able to afford to go abroad for the weekend and would he rather only a handful go abroad or have a one-night thing in the UK where everyone can go. Thats just me making sure he's thought it through so he has the best time he can and not regret anything.

So I think a bit of an input is ok - but dictating what they do is wrong.

I think she is being completely uinreasonable. Why on earth should she have any say in what he does for his stag? I would throw the fit of the century if my OH started to tell me what i could and could not do. I have no problem with him go to a strip club or anything like that. Then again me and my mates used to go to a strip club and my OH used to date a stripper so really dont have a prob with it at all. I think to be honest most blokes are only too aware that what is being sold is a dance and nothing more.

I had no input apart from nagging him to nag the BM to get it organised! And suggested which of my friends' partners he might want to invite.

He isn't into strip clubs usually but he sees them as a part of a stag do so I am guessing that will be on the agenda. I think it's more that he wants to be one of the lads type thing than that he is gagging to look at another woman's bits. It doesn't bother me from a jealously point of view but I do find it quite tacky & have concerns over exploitation of young woman in the sex industry etc so I'd rather he didn't go to one but won't say that to him. I trust him 100% though.

Ooh no I think that's a bit unhealthy and controlling! It's his stag do, I'd tell him to p*ss right off if he tried to say what I should do for my hen do!! Not that he would, I don't think that's very healthy at all!

The only exception I could imagine would be if he wanted to do something like Vegas which we couldn't afford!

Nic has no real say in my official stag and I have no say in her official hen.

Not that is an issue as we discuss them both and are looking forward to the stories after.

I now her stance on some issues and of course will take those into account as will my best man.

She also knows my veiws and we respect each other..

The unofficial hen and stag party is joint so ni issues there!

I have had no say and I honestly have no feelings either way about what goes on (cheating obviously aside)

Strippers, lap dances, whatever, its one weekend and I trust it never to go anywhere. I see it as part and parcel of a stag do as much as Hen Do's have their expectations.

We have planned our stag and hen do's to be at exactly the same time so i'll be too p*ssed to care anyway ? and what happens on the stag/hen stays on the stag/hen..(obviously, again within reason)

x

Totally unreasonable IMO. If she has issues with strip clubs or whatever then she has a right to make that view known and then it's entirely down to her OH to decide to what extent he wants to take that into account when making plans. I'm assuming she would have the mother of all hissy fits if he started laying down the law about what she does on her hen night?

I would add that I think things differ a bit if there is a child involved or other special circumstances - if by "having a say" she just wants to ensure he's not jetting off to Benidorm for a week and leaving her quite literally holding the baby, I don't see that that is a problem. Similarly, if there are money issues and she just wants to make sure he doesn't blow a sizeable chunk of the wedding budget on his do then again that's different.

I think it depends on what she means by having a say in his stag do...

I'd say I have a say in what they do, in that we have talked about our respective do's (neither has been planned or anything, still over a year away, but we were just talking) and he knows that in no uncertain terms would I not be happy if he had a lap dancer or stripper.

I have no doubt that he would not cheat, but I just hate the idea of him seeing another woman naked in the flesh and even more so of another woman gyrating on him in any manner!

Other than that, I don't care what he does for his stag do. I'd quite like him to get hammered but he doesn't really want to ?

On the flip side, if he said there were things that he really wouldn't want me to do and they were reasonable, then I wouldn't have any problem in not doing them.

I wouldn't want to know what the plans were/what happened, as I hope my OH wouldn't want to know what us hens were planning or got up to. What happens on the stag/hen stays there!

Would your friend want her H2B setting out rules before she went off to enjoy herself?!

A stripper/lap dancer is a bit of entertainment and bloke banter, the groom wont be taking her home to meet his mother in replacement of the bride!!

He's chosen to settle down and get married and spend the rest of his life with his bride.

I didnt have a say in my hubby but lukily for me his brother and best mate r very under the thumb and it had to b tame or else there wud b hell to pay.

I do have a issue with another woman shoving her naked bits in my hubbys face but then some go to far

Hubby was on a 4 day long stag do in edinburgh and the stripper for that stag had him butt naked on a dog coller licking cream from various really bad places

ITs so hard because male strippers just arnt like the women are so its not even the same if u get one

xxxx

Ha ha lol just realised how that read lol and it was the stag on the lead not my hubbs lol

Me and my OH are very relaxed when it comes to our hen/stag do's. Were having them on the same night (next saturday) and were going out into the same town just for a few drinks, nothing major. He is going off to one end of the town with his friends and im going off to the other end with mine, and then were meeting up at the end of the night to get a cab home!

Personally I wouldnt have told him what to do and what not to do, just like he wouldnt have done with me, I think it would be unreasonable to control everything, maybe she is panicking because she is worried he is going to cheat??

OMG!!!!!! Collar - lead - butt naked?? Holy crap I would crease but be livid at the same time!! ?

My H2Bs stag was last week. My only stipulation really was him going abroad, more to do with staying with the budget. Didnt really stress out about strippers and clubs etc. Still dont know til this day if they went into a club, or dungeon? or the likes. I only know that they dressed him up in dodgy clothes and sent him for an orange spray tan! (he still has orange toenails urgghh)!

He will not be having a say in my hen do next month, I might wanna go to a strip club! (Any mens strip clubs in London) ha ha!!

?

XX

I know all the details, that because I booked all the trains and hotels for all the men! I don't care what he does as long as he comes home on the sunday with 2 eyebrows. (all the stags know this!)

I have total faith in H2B that he wouldnt cheat on me but to have a naked woman dancing for him just makes me feel icky, i dont like it. The best man was being really childish while they were away, texting me every 5 mins trying to wind me up, what wound me up wasnt what he was saying but the fact that he was supposed to be on the stag do having fun but instead would rather be texting me to cause upset - he's not even apologised

I still feel funny about the whole thing but im dealing with it and after our chat it has reassured me that he didnt 'get anything out of it'! x

OMG what a head-case iam eh??? i jusr feel soooooo stupid for allowing my self to get so upset over it someone slap some sense into me!!! lol x.