Does anyone else live alone? Bit random / morbid...

I don't live alone but your post reminded me that I do have a 'newspaper and news photograph'. By this I mean that if I go missing or get murdered then I have a nice picture for the newspaper story. My sister has it and it gets updated every year or so when i find a new one i like.

Yes, I know i am crazy ?

That's so funny - I don't have a specific picture but everyone (friends, relatives) are under strict instructions about what type of picture they can release, and I do have a 'shortlist'. Also, my work has a habit of naming things after people who have died in service (buildings etc) and I was making a list of things that I wanted named after me.... the bench in the male changing room was my best suggestion!

I had similar thoughts as I fell down my stairs earlier this year. Fortunately I wasn't seriously injured so go up OK. I had landed right near the phone in the hall though so would have been OK (providing I was concious!)

Week days I think that someone at work would miss me if I wasn't in and would ring to check I was OK. At the weekend...it could be a few days before I was found.

The thing is I can be crap about returning calls/emails anyway, so if i didn't return a call for a couple of weeks, people wouldn't think anything of it! Maybe one of the cats would raise the alarm? LOL

?

I'm glad I'm not the only one to tell friends family what picture to release. I know I would be dead but i would be horrified if i had an awful picture of me floating around!

I do have a morbid fascination with death though. I have no idea why.

It's the falling-down-stairs bit that scares me as a girl I knew died recently after falling down stairs. I was late for work the other day (slept late!) and they did ring me, and my colleague even said he had visions of me lying somewhere injured.... Gosh it's depressing really! I just hate the thought of lying in pain and not being able to get help.

Treacle Tart - you're officially nuts ?

I had a scary experience when I was 20, I was living alone had no phone in the flat (and this was pre mobile days). I woke up on the Monday morning feeling rough with S&D so went down to the public phone box to ring in sick with work. I'd seen my parents at the weekend and not due to visit again until later in the week. Anyway, by the Tuesday morning I realised I was quite seriously unwell. I crawled into the hallway (lived in a multi at the time) and knocked at all my neighbours doors - no reply (on hindsight they were probably all peering through the spy hole and not seeing anyone as I was on the deck). I managed to crawl back into my flat.

I was found on the Thursday by my Dad still lying in the hallway. My work had called my parents as they were worried I hadn't called back. Turned out I had salmonella poisoning and spent the next 3 weeks in hospital.

My poor brother (early 20s) now has to call my Mum at least every second day or she sends my Dad down to his flat with his toolkit ?

I'm supposed to call in at work to report I am alive even if I am working from home or at a pre-arranged meeting somewhere else. It's a pain in the bum as they don't do anything if I do forget ?

Despite not living on my own I also spend a lot of time worrying about what would happen if I fell down the stairs. Since having C, I often see things happening very clearly eg when I stand at the top of the stairs I can see a very clear picture of me and her at the bottom in a broken heap. Horrible.

At one point I started carrying my mobile with me at all times just in case but then I realised I've only got reception in the front room ?

A similar thing happened to one of my sisters with meningitis.

I don't really know, Dief. It's not something that's really worried me when I've lived alone. ?

You just work it out as you need to! You yell for a neighbour or resolve it yourself.

I have an emergency contact number in my mobile for my two closest friends. Both my neighbours have keys to get in if they need to. They both periodically look after my cat, so I'm comfortable they know the drill should they need to step in at short notice.

Generally you just find a way to cope. I've managed a broken leg and nursed myself through a near-fatal illness (all sorted now). Not easy, but you just find a way to manage. I got a taxi home from having wisdom teeth removed (as I wasn't allowed to drive) and booked grocery home delivery as I knew I wouldn't want to leave the house for a few days afterwards. I'm planning on having laser eye surgery next year - if they won't let me take a taxi home and stay by myself I'll just stay with a friend for a night or two.

Car accident - it's really the emergency services who sort things out in any case. Choking - what would anyone do in any case? My ex got food stuck in his throat and there was nothing we could do even though there were several of us on the spot. (He was fine, it sorted itself out in the end.)

Honestly - if something happens (and here's hoping it doesn't..) you'll find a way to resolve it. I think as long as there are people you contact regularly (so they'd notice if you went missing) and you have a relationship with your neighbours so they can help out if necessary, you can pretty much work around everything.

Maxi how awful ?

Maxi how awful ?

Yikes Maxi, that's awful! Poor you. (And it hasn't helped - lol!) And Sophie's sister too...

If I was ill, it wouldn't be so bad, as I should be conscious. It's the possible scenarios that would leave me unable to call someone that worry me. And my phone has a lock on it, and I lock the doors when I'm in the house, so people would have to break the door down...

I have no doubt I could cope, DDMOH, but that only works if I'm able. I just worry. I am close to my neighbours but they don't have keys to my house, and I often stay with friends so they would not be alarmed for days.... And if I was taken to hospital, there is nothing linking me to anyone here so who would they call?

Sorry, sorry Diefenbaker I didn't mean to put the fear of god into you ?

That's why I added the bit about my brother, it's an agreement that as he lives alone, he needs to 'check in' every few days so that we know he's ok.

For peace of mind could you arrange something similar with a friend or relative?

With regards to who the hospital would call in case of an emergency. What about keeping a slip of paper 'in case of an emergency please contact xxxx' in your purse.

You've got me thinking now..

I don't live alone now, but some of my friends do, and when we first moved into our own homes we made an agreement to contact each other every three or so days, so that we wouldn't get eaten by alsations bridget jones stylee. That way if anything happened, and we couldn't get in touch with each other we'd try and make sure the person was ok. Most of the time it was a joke, but it was reassuring to know that we did have a plan!

I have already thought of this, I'm going to nominate my friend as long as she's OK with it - unfortunately she hates hospitals but I'm sure she'd make the effort for me! I just want to make sure she's OK with it before I do it.

I do 'check in' with at least one friend every day or so at least, but that could still be a long time if you were lying somewhere with a broken leg... I am laughing at Bridget Jones-eaten-by-alsatians though!

Is it now bizarre that having lived basically alone all my adult life until last 18months when moved into a house with OH that the thought of accidents etc never bothered me but now i get panicy that something might happen.. Maybe because i now have a irrationall fear of falling down stair ( 1st house i have ever lived in with stairs)or the fact that i just got on with things before and never thought of the fact that someone would be worrying about me on a day to day basis. Does that actually make sense ??

This thread is strange - I'm both laughing and nearly crying at the same time.

? for Maxi

? @ TT

Seriously its not something I've thought about, I'm a single mother, so I hope if anything happened the children would find me rather quickly. However the boy can disappear for a weekend very easily and the girl visits her dad at weekends, so as long as I fall down the stairs on a school night I should be ok.

In my limited experience you'd be lucky to find time to fall anywhere.....

We'll I know I've no time to fall silly... life gets in the way sometimes. Oui?

edited for hideous French spelling ?

You can nominate me if you want i will check up on you daily if you need me too.

i was thinking about you the other day when you were saying about being on own for xmas and your more than welcome to come here to us , its going to be crap and i do have an ulterior motive hehehe, if you come you can help me make the roast dinner as i will be jet lagged and when i want to nap in the afternoon you can play games with Tom to keep him from waking me up ?

i will supply lots of alchohol and i have a spare room all done out in girly colours now you can stay in there , also when tom wakes at 6am you can get up and leave me in bed

come on come to me you know you want to be my xmas slave ?

back to the serious matter now , really if you need me to check your ok i am more than happy to do it

The emergency services will look for ICE names and numbers in your purse/phone.. They should have ICE Joe (friend) - 07*************

My H has just had his training in them. Aparently its " in case of emergency" they are the ones they will contact in case your in trouble.

As for falling and hurting yourself and not being able to move, I would hope that I was somewhere where the postie would hear me shouting.

The saddest case I ever saw in the police was a old lady that had died in her home in November, it was a new start postie that called the police as the mail behind her door was massive by the January. The other posties hadn't bothered/thought she was away. But her family lived in the same town and there was even posted christmas cards in the pile from them... I often think about her.

Diefenbaker, you're not alone - I worried about this when I lived alone, quite a lot! I had visions of me broken in a heap at the bottom of my lethal stairs (which I have fallen down & hurt myself on before), with the cat gnawing on my decomposing flesh and only being found when the smell started to bother the neighbours <shudder>?

I've recently got a lodger though, and the thought that the above scenario won't happen played at least a small part in my decision to get one!

My friends who live alone say they're tortured by the same morbid thoughts - I think it must be quite common, like waking up in a sweaty panic when something goes bump in the night...

I lived alone for 10 years and this crossed my mind from time to time. I had very good neighbours who I knew kept an eye on me although they didn't have a key. The only arrangement I had with my parents is that I phone when I get in after visiting them (and I still have to do this!). I did rely on work that if I didn't phone in sick that they would do something. I've got quite irritated by some companies I've worked for who haven't been all that bothered when someone hasn't turned up or phoned in.

Overall though, my philosophy on it was that the chances of something happening in the house were quite small and accidents out of the house were more likely.

Phew, not just me having morbid thoughts then.

When I lived on my own I always took a phone into the bathroom with me, just incase I slipped and fell at least I could phone someone. I'd then have to worry about the embarassment of someone coming to rescue my naked self!

I broke my leg last Sunday walking the IL's dogs in the woods, I managed to walk about 20 metres on it to the road with some help from OH, but if I'd have been on my own I'd have crawled. I think if you're conscious and know you need to get somewhere to safety, or the phone, you will do it just with pure adrenaline. If you're not conscious, then I don't know really ?

I'm on my own this morning until OH gets back from work, and daren't go to the loo as it would mean passing the top of the stairs, which I'm not so fond of falling down!

I don't live alone but My H is away for long periods at a time and it's definitely something I worry about. We have two young daughters and I'm expecting again and I worry about what would happen to them if something happened to me while H is away. I've considered teaching the eldest (almost 4) how to call 999 but then she has verbal dyspraxia so I don't know if they'd understand her anyway.

It's a scary thought really.

I work very varied and anti social hours and used to really worry about this.

Most nights I don't get in until 3 am or later, so obviously all the neighbours are in bed. My main worry, other than not making it home at all, was about walking into a house that had probably stood empty for the best part of about 16-20hrs. I also used to really worry that the neighbours wouldn't be able to tell if I was ok or not from the car standing in the driveway, due to my off days being so changeable. I used to have visions of me being discovered in a heap at the bottom of the stairs with the cat munching on my remains, having been tripped up by her on my way to feed her.

I came to the conclusion that it would probably be work that were the first people to notice I was missing, but that, being a bunch of blokes, it would probably take a few days for them to think it was serious enough to escalate. Either that, or it would be some disgruntled customer, complaining that they were uable to get into the venue for their usual drunken debauchery!?

My nana lives alone (she's 94 and more spritely than I am at 34!) and has an arrangement with her neighbours that if her curtains aren't open by a certain time in the morning they use their key and go in to check on her. It's a great arrangement as it works both if she is ill and can't get downstairs or whatever and also if something more serious happens.

All her family live at least 100 miles away. Her son is a bit of a hippy (lives a self sufficient life-style in a bus in a field with no phone). My mum and I live 250 miles away so its not practical to rely on us.

I'm glad I'm not alone!

I dont live alone, but if I'm home alone all day and into the night, I too wonder what "would happen" if anything happened to me!

I try to remember to take the keys out of the back and front door so that someone can get in to save me.

Usually in bed and almost asleep is when I have the flashing visions of some horrific accident happening to my son/daughter/mother etc.

Whats wrong with us all!!!? lol

Three stories from when I lived alone ...

First when my back went. I was on the floor and couldn't move. I'm not quite sure how I managed to ring my Dad (it's a bit of a blur now) but he ended up coming round and breaking in with my brother. They both found it hilarious seeing me lying immobile on the floor, until they realised it was for real. Even then it was still funny. I remember that quite vividly, surprisingly.

Second story was when the internet was very new and there was only dial-up. I was supposed to be going to Dad's birthday dinner, but I ended up chatting online and forgot the time. As I only had the one telephone line, when Dad rang to see where I was, I was engaged. He rang and rang and rang .. and after an hour of ringing (I wasn't that late, he'd been ringing before the time I was supposed to be there for something else) he got in the car and drove to my house. I was just opening the door when he reached to ring the bell, so we both jumped in surprise! He thought I'd fallen down the stairs or something and the phone was off the hook. He had rung BT to have the line checked and they said no-one was talking, so he was very worried. He wasn't all bad, clearly. Heart of gold, just no idea how to show it 99% of the time. That was a golden 1%

The last story is the worst. My back had gone again. Only this time was far worse as it wasn't a trapped nerve as in the first story, but a severely prolapsed disc. I was in total agony and couldn't move for the excruciating pain. I couldn't get downstairs to get my painkillers, but even worse, I had D&V as well as a bad cold. I was having to crawl to the bathroom to be either sick or the other, as well as sneezing, which in itself was as if someone had plunged a red-hot poker into my back everytime I sneezed. The worst was when I just couldn't move anymore and ended up being sick and having the runs in bed .. it was so awful. I had to ring Mum (which was a feat in itself reaching for the phone) and ask her to come over to get my back painkillers. If I could move, I could clean myself up. But first Mum had to see me in that state.

I can understand how elderly people want to go when they get like that due to old age. It's so awful to be in that situation and can't do a thing about it.

Other than that, living on my own was great! ?

Hazel, I very often have smiilar thoughts.

I worry about falling down the stairs and Chloe stuck behind the stair gate waiting for me to get up...