Evening invite mix ups?

I'm worried that I've accidently sent the wrong invites out. Like some people will turn up to the day because I've accidently sent them day invites. I'm sure this wont happen though, but there's always that doubt in your mind.

My OH got invited to a wedding last year where he was invited to the church, and then to the evening reception, but not to the bit in the middle. But it wasn't very clear on the invite, so he thought he was invited to the whole thing.

As long as you've made it clear on the invite, then I think you'll be ok.

I had an invite like this last year. I found it a bit odd that somebody thought I would want to go to the Church then hang around for 4 hours while other people got fed before joining the party again in the evening. His suggestion was that I could go to the pub to wait! Ummm, thanks but no thanks.

I thought ours were really clear.

Our evening invites say 'XXX & YYY would like to invite you to an evening reception to celebrate their marriage at ?????? We would be delighted if you could also join us at the ceremony at ??????'

Then my dad phoned as one of his snotty friends had said, and I quote 'What does this invitation actually mean?!'

I think it makes perfect sense, and none of the other 100 evening guests have questioned it.

I think they were just annoyed at not getting an day invite like they did to my sisters.

I think if people make a mistake they will just have to be politely told to come back later. As a guest I would be mortified I'd made a mistake and would escape as quickly as possible, would not want a place set for me!

This is the type of thing we want to do- wasn't sure how to put it tho, was tempted with a P.S!!! lol

I would also be so embarrassed if i had appeared for dinner when there was none for me!! it would be one of those moments you would want the ground to swallow you up!!

My day invites say "you are invited to the wedding @ 1pm" "evening reception to follow"

My evening invites say "you are invited to the evening reception @ 19.30"

Cant get much clearer than that surely...

Whilst I think it is perfectly acceptable to invite evening guests to watch the ceremony and then come back for the evening, I think it needs to be made abundantly clear on the invitations, because there is potential for confusion.

I'd make the main focus of the invitation the evening party, then as additional wording:

"We would also be delighted if you were able to join us to watch our ceremony at 2.00pm at X".

To make it even clearer, you could put suggestions of things to do in the gap in the middle, although bear in mind that people will be dressed up.

I think that's confusing too, but I've never been invited to watch a wedding then go to the evening reception. Who would want to get dressed up to watch a wedding and then wait around for the reception?

My couisin invited a work mate to the whole thing and her daughter to the evening with her B.F, they split up so the daughter came to the whole thing, ther was then a very swkward moment where she had to be shoved at the end of a table with no one she knew, the food bit was ok as my nan was unable to attend so she had her meal but they promptly left after with very red faces!

Lots of people asked before I did the invites if they could pop into the church too, so we thought it would be nice to welcome people to the church, rather than them think they were being cheeky by popping in. A church is public so anyone can come but we wanted to make people feel like we would like them there if they wanted to go. We havent invited anyone from miles away like this, who would have nowhere to go, just local friends and work colleagues etc. ANd I wouldnt expect them to dress up for the church, just to sit discretely at the back in jeans would be fine. It is a massive city centre church and I expect we'll have a lot of random spectators anyway for this reason!

Ahhh I would die of embarrassment if this happened to me.

It is a bit unusual to invite people to the ceremony and reception but not the meal in the middle, but I don't think there is anything wrong with it as long as you make it clear that this is what's happening. We have a lot of people travelling and, as we both have big families with lots of cousins, we can't afford for everybody to come to the meal and have decided on an immediate family and close friends only policy to make it fair on both sides (no cousins or second cousins etc). As a lot of them are travelling I'm thinking of putting in a little bit in my invites about transportation from where they are staying to the church and from the church to the venue and saying that although we would love to have everyone at the whole day it is not possible but we wold still love for them to come and watch us exchange our vows. As our reception venue is right near the town centre and the beach, and a very short walk from where we are recommending our guests stay, I am suggesting to them that they can explore the area (as most have never been before), do some shopping, go for some food or take a walk along the beach. I can't imagine the meal lasting 4 hours! so I don't really think that many of them will mind entertaining themselves for a little bit too much, and they will all know somebody else there so it's not like they'd be on their own. I know a lot of my cousins would love to come to the ceremony so I want to give them the option. I am putting an Order of the Day in my invitations to try and make it extra clear, so there are 3 different things saying they are only invited to the ceremony and evening reception x

I didn't feel the need to let people know they can come to the church.

A church is a public place, anyone can watch your ceremony if they want to.

I people did want to go, you would still have to tell them when and where, so unless you prefer a phone call from everybody wanting to know the details, it would be easier to put it on the invites which could still cause confusion. Until I joined hitched I never realised how dense people can become when reading invitations, so I am trying to be as specific as possible. I have never assumed I was invited to any part of anybody's wedding unless I was specifically told, but it seem a lot of people have problems with guests inviting themselves to different bits x

We're having a very close family and bridal party breakfast and a big party. We've sent the evening invitations clearly saying "EVENING INVITATION", invited, wedding celebration, 7:30pm etc.

Right at the very bottom we've added "you are also welcome to attend the church service at such and such church at time". I did this because so many people had asked if they could come to the service and it was the easiest way to let them know where it was. I don't expect them all to be there, probably just my friends and some girls from work. Most people have said it was lovely to be invited specially to the church.

I've had a few invitations like this in the last few years. The first time I received one I thought it was a bit odd but then it just kinda got normal! They don't have to go.

I will be putting an "if you'd like to witness the ceremony, blah blah blah" on the evening invites, but it will be in smaller print at the bottom to avoid confusion.

If it had been put in an invitation, I'd attend the actual wedding (seeing as that is the important bit), then go to the evening do. Though I'd only do it if it was a local wedding, so I wouldn't really be 'hanging around' inbetween.

I've not heard of people attending when they weren't meant to, but sometimes I think invitations can be worded poorly and lead to confusion, and of course, some people can be downright cheeky.

It's awful that the mix-up happened, I wonder why? I'd be mortified if it was me turning up to what I wasn't invited to, although if I'd been sent the wrong invitations then I'd be quite cross too!

I've been invited to a couple of weddings where we're just at the evening, but have also been invited to the church as well. I think it's lovely of the couple to have thought about it, and I'll definitely be putting a note on our evening invites, welcoming people along to the church as well if they'd like. I know it might be a bit awkward for people being all dressed up with no place to go, but I've done it for others because it's their big day and I want to be involved as much as possible, cos I won't get that chance again. I hope my friends and family will feel the same way for me, but if not then it their loss ?

However, if I got an evening invite that didn't mention the ceremony I definitely wouldn't attend it, even if it was held in a public space like a church. It's the couple's big day and I'll respect their wishes, so if they want me at the ceremony I'll try to be there, but if they don't mention it I'll just join them in the evening.

We also had a lot of evening invitees ask for Church details so I don't think it's that unusual. We couldn't afford to have everyone for the meal but there are a lot of our friends that wanted to come and see the "important bit". They were also quite happy to entertain themselves for the hours inbetween. If it was someone I knew quite well then I would want to do the Church/ceremony thing too.

I wasn't invited at to a colleagues wedding at all but he said to me that I could go to the Church if I wanted. I thought that would be odd!!

Yeh I agree, that would be very odd. Getting all dressed up for a nice ceremony then going home and chilling out on the sofa in your jammies. I would never invite someone to a more personal thing like the ceremony and not to the celebration afterwards. It usually doesn't cost that much to add a few extra people to a buffet, if that's what they were having, and I don't think I've been anywhere where there hasn't been food from a buffet left over even with some gate crashers x

When an old school friend of mine got married in the local village church my Mum and a few of my friend's Mums went along to the church. They weren't invited to the wedding reception or evening reception but having known her since she was a little girl at play group they all just really wanted to see her get married! Space was not an issue in the church and the bride didn't mind at all.

That same friend invited quite a few work mates to the evening reception only and even though they all had to travel a few hours to get there, they all asked if they could go to the church and went even though it meant hanging around for a few hours (I don't think they at all minded spending that time in the pub!).

I didn't think it was odd to go to the church, hang around then go to the evening - every church wedding I have been to has had this. Maybe just me

This is a really interesting topic that my OH and I discussed the other day!

I would be absolutely mortified if I turned up at a wedding breakfast but was only invited as an eveing guest, or an evening guest turned up for my wedding breakfast...the shame!

I agree that invitations are poorly worded, are not clear thus leading to confusion. I do think that people are cheeky and will try there luck. "Oh I'm here already, I'm sure they can lay one extra plate for me" Er, no we can't!

I think to save confusion that the evening invite should clearly state the times the evening celebrations start and end e.g. "we would like to invite you to our evening reception 7:30 - midnight etc etc". Then ending with, "if you wish to join us at our ceremony at 1pm-2pm please do."

If the invite clearly states the times then surely that is as clear as daylight that between 2pm-7pm is for day guests only?!

Oh god, I'm worried about this! Our daytime and evening invites looked pretty similar and I keep thinking 'imagine if I've sent the wrong one' then 'no I can't have'. In hindsight I should have made the RSVPs different so that I knew when people returned them that they'd definitely had the right invite! It hadn't even occurred to me that people may not read the invitation properly...

We've had a couple of evening guests RSVP and book rooms in the venue (which is pretty expensive) within just a couple of days of sending out the invites, so that's made us worry even more!

I didn't mention 'come to the church' on the evening ones, but I did include the directions for both the church and venue in all of the invites.

Oh dear... hope I haven't given anyone the wrong idea!

I had a couple of problems with mine - someone I sent an evneing invite to asked if they were invited all day and someone else RSVPd on our website to say they were coming to the evening when they'd be invited all day! I think it doesn't matter how clear your invitations are it's always a possibility that someone wil get confused!

I have actually invited a couple of our evening guests to our ceremony as they live really locally and we have space and they're a bit older so thought they'd appreciate the ceremony bit. I don't think I'd mind if I was only invited to the ceremony and then the evening reception provided I had something to do inbetween, but I can see how some people might get offended.

Our invites were a bit unconventional but to make things clear we had a box saying what time each part was, which was slightly different for our evening guests as it just said the first part started at 7:30pm. We thought this was pretty obvious that people with those invites would arrive from that time, one person did ring up asking what time the ceremony was and I had to explain that they were only invited to the evening reception - they were more cross than embarassed though!