Free Bar?

Pretty much lol

ive been to 5 weddings in the past year and all had a pay-for-your-own-drinks bar andno ones complained! ifi had thousands id do it but i do not`and dont think anyones expecting one to be honest!

We cant afford this either but would love to-we said if we won the lottery we would only change that part, a free bar, free taxis and hotel rooms for all!!

we havent won it though! we are providing drinks after the ceremony and for the speeches thats all

we are not having a gift list but have put this inside the invites

We have been asked by a few people about

gifts, and our gift list is a simple one,

We only have one wish and that is for our guests

to simply come to our wedding and have a good time.

Please do not spend your money on us - save it for

the bar or treat yourselves to a hotel!

I think you're worrying over nothing. although it's kind of you to think so much about it on behalf of your guests. The first drink from the bar later on would be a nice touch if you can afford it but is unnecessary.

I've been to weddings with free bars and those without. I think as long as people know the score (no drinks at all provided, drinks with dinner, cash bar, cash only/no cards etc) there can be no scary surprises.

We had this dilemma, as we are asking people to come from another country to our wedding (hence no gift list).

We opted for a venue which would allow us to bring our own booze as a result, and the caterer will be serving our booze (we are paying for the staff), and we'll be taking a trip to a Costco type shop to get the booze in.

A neighbour had a free bar at her daughter's wedding of ~100-150 people, and the bill was 20K a the end of the night!!!!!

I think a cash bar is perfectly acceptable in the UK - perhaps not in Spain, Italy, the US etc.

I have been wondering about this too. We are having a house for the weekend and will be providing drinks throughout the day i.e on arrival and with meal and a cocktail on arrival of evening guests for all, but ideally I would like to have a free bar.

We only have 40 to the day and about 70 in total ( inlcuding the day guests) in the evening. I just have no idea how much people will drink though and how much it will cost. If we do a free bar then we would buy all the drink in bulk and pay one /two of the waitresses from the caterer to serve. If we have a cash bar the caterers are licensed to supply this.

Had a discussion with my parents last night about it and one point that came up was - if i did have a free bar i would have to cut back on other areas eg a saxophonist/entertainment on arrival at venue. And it got me thinking what would people remember more some music for a few hours or not having to pay for drinks all night.

I have no idea if it is possible or not i guess i will have to wait and see how much i have spent on everything else!

But thoughts on this are very welcome....

We're providing a drink straight after the ceremony to help people get through the photos, and a drink during the evening reception for toasting. Both will be Schloer as we got a good deal with the hotel for this as part of our non-alcoholic package. We'll also be providing jugs of ice water and fruit juice on each table throughout the afternoon and evening.

The hotel has a private bar in a side room off of our main function room which our guests can use, and if what we provide isn't enough then they can buy their own.

As a general rule, most people abuse a 'free bar' and drink far more than they need/usually do/ought to.

Most of our guests are travelling some distance to/from the venue and not staying over so will be driving home afterwards. We don't want to feel the responsibility should anything happen to them driving after having too much (any?) alcohol, but if they choose to avail themselves of it then that's their choice.

Stupidlamb, I must say most people I know would enjoy a saxophonist but what I believe most people will remember is having a good time with their friends. A bar, whether free or not, is synonymous with that! We are having a free bar as we want our guests to pay for as little as possible. (Even our location is convenient for most guests as they have family nearby or were paying for their accommodation). If you're leaning towards a free bar but want to control cost, have you considered supplying the wine and beer but allowing spirit drinkers to bar from a cash bar? Might be worth a thought.

My issue with cash bars is the venue. Often people don't take the cost to their guests into consideration. I've been to weddings where a glass of house wine is £8/9!

I wudnt expect to have to pay for a free bar and the last coup[le of weddings we have been too have been a cash bar. We are providing a welcome drink, wine with the meal, tea coffe & a toasting drink which i think people should be more than happy with, without expecting more.

I have been to a wedding where the FOB put some money behind the bar on the night for everyone to have a free drink which was a lovely touch, but not always needed. I wouldnt bother, specially if you are having drinks with the meal provided.

Cricketbride, I think a lot of couples think about their guests, but people do not HAVE to drink alcohol, they choose to at a wedding. U are asking them to come and spend an amazing day with u are your expensive, providing food, drink and a party so to speak. I dont think I have any friends that would expect or want (unless i won the lottery) for us to pay simply for them to get drunk after we are offering them more than enough to have a nice time.

We're thinking of doing exactly the same as you - Doing something at each place setting that can be exchanged at the bar for one free drink. We simply won't be able to afford everyones drinks as well as £30+ per head (haven't got this far yet!) for the food. We would provide wine with the meal and champagne for the toast and maybe when people arrive but that'll be it.

Also, it would get very, very messy (and very, *very* expensive for us!) with a lot of our guests if they were let loose with unlimited drinks! Which wouldn't be cool...

Over the past 5 years I have rarely seen the bride and groom put money behind the bar. It is usually one of the dads that does it if there is money behind the bar at all.

I shouldnt worry about it no guest will complain, they get a free meal and a couple of free drinks anyways. (drink for toasts, welcome drink, maybe a glass of wine during dinner)

I'm not saying people have to drink but I do think it's right to consider the cost to those who want to. The non drinkers were charged £2.95 for a coke - it all adds up, regardless of your drinking habits!

We are supplying our own drinks, and so far we have spent just under a thousand for a pretty large amount of alcohol, which should see everyone have more than enough to drink.

In contrast a friend of mine put one thousand behind the bar at her engagement expect it to last at least a good portion of the night. She said it lasted minutes, which lots of people taking the **** ordering trebles and buying multiple drinks. She was absolutely devastated about it.

She regards it as one of the worse decesions she ever made.

We are providing arrival drinks, wine with the meal and toast drink. We are however providing our own drink and doing our own bar for the evening reception so we could have done a free bar if we wanted to. Me and OH had a discussion regarding this and decided not to as we dont want everyone being wasted at our wedding. As a result we decided to charge peope £2 a drink, so its not going to break to bank to drink there but I think thats enough to discourage certain members of OH's family to not get totally wasted.

And we are giving everyone as part of their favours a 'free drink voucher' which I had printed for free at vista print (business card).

I think there is absolutely no need to provide a free bar and people wont expect it either. Some people (not all!) will no doubt abuse it no matter how good a friend/family member they are!

At my old law firm we used to through a massive party for our clients every January. We'd pick up the bar tap but the rules were always 'no bubbles, doubles or shots'! I think that may have served your friend well, STBMS!

Thanks for all your comments guys. I am totally thinking about my guests and I want nothing more than them to have a good time, I have always had a great time when I've been to weddings where I have had to buy my own drinks so Im sure al my guests will have a lovely time. I have incidentally emailed my wedding cooridinator at the venue, and asked as we have a private bar can we provide our own drinks so Ill let you know what she comes back with.

Im having a free bar at my wedding but I would never assume there was a free bar if i went to a wedding. Not having my guests pay for drinks was a big thing for me and i would hope none of them would take advantage of our generosity!

We are not having a free bar we simply couldnt afford it with a £3000 budget lol. We have hired a function room above a bar and they have done us a deal for bucks fizz at £2 a glass so we have paid for one glass for everyone. I have never been to a wedding with a free bar, however we put on out invitations that it was a cash bar so no one turns up without money!

wow that is a massive mark up on drinks. I can understand why u wud want to help. Fortunately our drinks are fairly standard compared to London/hotel prices so not enough to shock anyone.

We decided to spend less money on the decor etc, and more on the party itself.

I was discussing this with my boss at work (he's Swedish), who commented that he had been to weddings where the booze has run out but there was lots of frills on the table, and he would always prefer to see less frills and have another drink in his hand!

Matt & I decided early on that the important part was celebrating the occasion our friends (whom we are asking to come over from the UK), and have thus decided to go down the route of finding a venue where we could bring our own drinks and not worry too much about the cost. We rejected multiple venues (ie, a wedding on a boat on Lake Geneva), because the cash bar costs were ridiculous on board the boat.

I do think venues line their pockets at weddings with your cash and that of your guests - I'd like to see some rebellion to this practice and push venues into offering more flexible packages (ie, Wetherspoons' prices for the drinks, or allowing hosts to supply the drinks!)

Overall, I'm in the same camp as CricketBride - but realise each couple's situation is different as not all weddings have 90% of their guests in the 25-30 age bracket!

I've been to two weddings where seemingly no expense has been spared in relation to stretch limos/caricaturists/table decorations/expensive champagne for the top table but not so much as a welcome drink offered to their guests!

I appreciate it's the B&G's day but to me that seems very rude.

We had a package at our venue so it was X amount per head which included champers, Pimms, wine & soft drinks until the evening do. When the evening reception kicked off we provided welcome drinks - both alcoholic and non alcoholic.

In my opinion, I think guests should at least have one or two drinks on the house. The last wedding I went to it was £6 for a pint of lager!

Ouch, Spangles. Thankfully my diamond teeth prevent me from drinking pints.

Mr Spangles was not impressed! I think I had a few diet cokes and a couple of Coronas which worked out cheaper. Wine was £9 a glass (not even nice wine)... Eep!

My parents had a similar experience to CB. A distant relative at mine got married at Down Hall (where Jade Goody got married) and wine there was around £7 for a glass which to my mind is outrageous.

Bar prices were definately a consideration for us after that!

We provided all day guests with their drinks up to the evening do and all evening guests had their first drink on us. We would have loved to have had a free bar but it just wasn't workable.

Scandalous. I resent paying that much for mediocre wine. (actually I resent paying that much for a glass anywhere, although some places I cope better than others!).

We would have loved a free bar, but sadly out of our price range. We are, however, having a "free first drink" after the ceremony - our venue has said that the bar staff will not supply doubles etc out of fairness.

We're also giving our guests tea/coffee during the time when the photos are done and there will be a bottle of wine on each table during the wedding breakfast.

Interesting observation. We weren't planning on 'anything special' for the top table that we aren't offering to any of the other guests; also although we had planned a welcome drink it's a sort of 'fruit punch' thing rather than alcohol - shouldn't be a problem should it?

To be honest i dont know if i would feel a little miffed if my welcome drink was a non alcoholic one unless i was at a dry wedding, which i have been to and it wasnt the most exciting of weddings!!! I thought most venues offer a package where you get a glass of fizz or something as a welcome drink?

Most do. Ours did. We asked for alternatives.

Ours isn't a "dry" wedding by any means - we just aren't supplying the alcohol, but non-alcoholic alternatives for everyone. There's a paid bar so people who want alcohol are more than welcome to buy as much as they want.

Can I ask why you didnt want to supply alcohol to your guests?

A number of reasons really.

1) Neither of us drink so we don't see the "need".

2) Many of our guests are either elderly, or won't be drinking for religious reasons - in fact some would find it difficult (or offend them) having bottles of wine all over the table. I don't want to get into a debate of the rights and wrongs of drinking (or abstaining), that's just the facts of our guest list - I happen to work for a church based charity and am inviting quite a few work colleagues.

3) Most of our guests are travelling some distance and will be driving home after the event. We didn't want to feel responsible for anyone who drank too much and then either drove home afterwards and got stopped or wrapped themselves round a tree.

4) I don't believe you need alcohol to have a good time.

5) Alcohol is still available to those that want some, we just aren't paying for it.

6) It's bloody expensive! House wine starts at £16.50 a bottle at our venue and they charge £8 a bottle corkage if you bring your own. Obviously you don't want to buy the cheapest wine you can get as it probably tastes like window cleaner, but when you add corkage it just becomes a very expensive evening.

It may be that, as our budget settles down, we find that we have some spare money and can get some wine - 4 bottles per table of 12 (2 white 2 red perhaps) x 6 tables at the wedding breakfast at £16.50 is around £400 as opposed to about £230 for 65 glasses of fruit punch at £3.50 each.

Dont get me wrong I dont feel the 'need' to have a drink for a good time but I also accept that a big part of socialising is having a drink. Weddings are expensive for the bride and groom but they are also expensive for the people attending and I see giving them a glass of something as a thank you and show my appreiciation for the money they have spent because lets be honest if it wasnt for you getting married they wouldnt have to spend this.

I really dont get how someone drinking too much at your wedding and then driving home can be your fault, they are all adults im guessing that will be coming and drinking so its their own responsibility! I would actually be offended that you have made this decision for me like im a child who doesnt know my limits!