Guest Photos/Facebook

How many people are coming to your abroad ceremony? My friend got married abroad and had the same request as you, she had about 15 guests and she just spoke to them all herself before hand one by one, either via facebook or text or actually on the holiday and they all held off untill after the home reception. If you have a bigger number then I see no problem in asking the priest making a little announcement. I would want to keep it as a surprise too! I had no problems at all with my wedding photos going on FB but in those circumstances I would want to wait.

Thanks VP. We have 60 guests other than us, half of whom are coming from the UK and half of whom are already in Australia, so there'd be quite a lot to go round! I don't want to seem like we're dictating to our guests, but I think it's slightly unusual circumstances.

My husband hates FB and doesn't like to have anything to do with him on there. We asked our guests before the day not to put photos up on FB and they all understood and no one thought we were rude as they all knew Mr Moo isn't on FB. I don't have many photos of myself on FB which helped the cause as well.

In those circumstances I wouldn't have a problem with that at all. It's not at unreasonable request.

1. I wouldn't have a problem at ALL and in fact think people who do have a problem are being slightly unreasonable. I don't think you can ask people not to post photos of themselves, but I do think you have a right to politely request that they refrain from posting photos of you.

Be warned though that some people won't listen, especially with your numbers (smaller numbers = easier to get through to people). We asked people not to take photos during our ceremony and of course they did. Embarrassingly enough it was people on my side. I really hate being photographed and I have to say I DID notice. I didn't mind so much being snapped after the ceremony although there was one truly awful pic (of me grimacing) which some family friends thought appropriate to pass on to my tutor from uni (who they knew)! Why couldn't they have sent a pro one, or at least a nice one?! Like women don't have enough pressures regarding their appearance in daily life without worrying about bad pics on their wedding day too. Grr. Sorry, slightly off topic there.

2. I wouldn't mind. I suppose it would be a bit more 'special' to see the outfits for the first time 'in the flesh' but to be honest it's not my wedding and I wouldn't be that fussed.

We have 60 guests other than us, half of whom are coming from the UK and half of whom are already in Australia, so there'd be quite a lot to go round!

WSS

I wouldn't mind at all, it would make me feel even more privilaged to be there with you at the ceremony IYSWIM.

But as FMJ said with 60 guests you have to be aware that not everyone will oblige, all you can do is ask politely explaining your reasons. You probably need to be specific about what they can and can't do - ie do you mind if they post pics of themselves, or of their general time abroad, just not the ceremony or you guys?

Are you having order of days/services, perhaps a polite note in there, and get the minister to draw attention to it before the service..? It's not a case of not taking pictures, just don't share them till after the reception.

Thanks everyone. I personally didn't think it was an unreasonable request, but Mr Knees grumbled a bit when I mentioned it to him. I guess it's more of a girl thing wanting to keep the dress a bit of a secret.

Yes, Nutella, we do have orders of service, so that's a good idea to put it in there. Thanks.

I wouldn't mind being asked and I'd go along with your request but I would think you were being a bit precious about it, sorry Knees!

As for 2, it wouldn't bother me at all whether I'd seen your dress before your UK reception.

Whether you asking is right or wrong, I would be very surprised if people don't get to see you in all your finery in the 6 weeks between your wedding and home reception. There'll be pictures shown on phones and cameras, I'd wager.

WSS

As above. Actually, if I knew you'd got married and had to wait over a month to see any "evidence" I'd be really impatient. I'd want to see your pictures straight away and it wouldn't worry me in the slightest that I'd already seen your dress.

If I was asked not to post pictures by the bride and groom then I would absolutely listen to them and be fine with it. However, 60 is a lot of people and the chances are that a couple may not listen. I think things like your dress will look so much better IRL than in just a picture, I agree with your logic and think I would feel the same but think it will be difficult.