He’s left me.

What???!!!

What am I going to do about the house. We are supposed to complete in a week

Oh chick, I'm not sure what the deal is with new builds. Assuming if you pull out you will lose deposit and any fees you have paid so far?

Why has he suddenly done a u-turn?

Oh my gosh OB, I'm so sorry. Why has he suddenly decided to leave now? I thought you were both doing so well.

I thought this were working out ob? I'm sure he isn't mean it and he will come back.

Eep! How awful of him. Was this in the middle of a row, or was it out of the blue?

I have no idea about houses and stuff I'm afraid, but I'm thinking of you, let us know if we can do anything to help.

Oh OB ?

I don’t know, he sounded pretty serious.

Oh lovely so sorry tp read this! ❤️

Holy hell OB. Surely he didn't mean it. Maybe he just needs to calm down.

Forget my last post. How dare he think its ok to put his hands on you!

Totally unacceptable, I really hope you're ok.

So sorry to read this ob, hope he just needs to calm down a bit

Oh my lovely, what a horrible situation. No advice for now apart from taking a bit of time for you both to calm down.

Just let me know if I can help. x

OB, do you have anyone you can phone to come round and sit with you? Are you hurt at all? I'm really worried about you after that last post. I've been there and can imagine how you must be feeling.

Just give it a bit of time lovely, in e heat of the moment we all say and do things we don't mean or that are ntended to shock.

I am so sorry OB, I dont know what to say. Have a very inadequate internet weirdie hug ?

Do you think he will come back or do you think that enough is finally enough? I so wish I could make things better for you.

Sh1t. Silly question but are you ok? In a physical sense at least, he didn't hurt you?

Whether or not he comes back, he cannot be allowed to continue like this. He says you are unstable (and in the nicest possible way, he is right to an extent as you have said yourself you are very fragile), but actually I think his instability is far more damaging especially since he will not admit it or accept any help.

The house can be dealt with, whats important is your safety both physical and emotional. You do not deserve this to carry on in this way, you need better whether that is without him or with him.

On a practical level with the house though, I'm assuming its a joint mortgage therefore if he has left for good whatever happens with the house will have to be agreed with both of you. You could pull out and lose probably everything you've already paid (plus potentially more - I don't know what your contract says), or could you share with a friend or rent out. Options are there. I'm sure Knees will know more about this practical stuff.

?

I won't quote what you've just said OB, and if you want me to edit any of this later, just let me know.

The argument, I think, probably doesn't show either of you in a great light. If it were just that, I'd be advising you on how to try to work on things. But the violence is inexcusable. This is at least the second time he has been violent to you, from what I can remember? He's had his second chance and he's blown it, IMO. I think you've done the right thing in keeping his keys - you need to keep yourself safe.

If I were you, I would cut all contact from him. Block his calls for now, and if he comes round to the house, don't let him in. Do you have a friend or relative who could come round and be with you overnight? As soon as you can, get in touch with citizens' advice and/or your local women's aid (www.womensaid.org.uk for your nearest branch). Do you have a solicitor who is handling the house purchase? Call them and explain what's happened, they will be able to help with the legalities. Please look after yourself and let us know what we can do to help. aid

My arms are sore and I was winded but I’m not hurt. I’m going to go and see my baby cousin soon, they are up from cornwall. Guess I will have to put a smile on it.

I don’t know if he will come back. He doesn’t think he’s done anything wrong. He says its all me. I’ve destroyed our marriage because I can’t allow anything nice to happen without spoiling it because we lost a baby (his words, not mine).

OB please do not go out and pretend nothing has happened. You need the support of your family/friends. If you are putting a smile on it to protect him then you excuse what he has done (IMO). If your family knew the full extent of whats happened they would be horrified but they need to know in order to help lovely xx

I'm so sorry OB.

I know it's too early to know this but what do you want?

Do you want to be together?

OB, that sounds truly terrible as was said last time and again this time you are priority number 1

I hope you get support from your family, try not to bottle this up on your own.

Oh OB please what can I do? I owe you and if you need to get away we have room here?

Omg, I am so so sorry OB ?

I have nothing constructive to add, but couldn't R&R - I do hope that you are safe/OK.

I was going to ask this. There's only a certain amount of times this can happen before you say enough's enough and something has to drastically change.

Chuffing hell OB. I do believe you said all this has stemmed from the mc? If there's any chance for a healthy relationship you both need to get help. I mean that with love too. You're not unstable, you've suffered a trauma. If it was physical you'd have bruises- mental trauma doesn't leave it's mark for the world to see but it's obviously still there for you both.

You know where i am xx

Oh bloody hell OB. I hope you will be OK. I can't imagine the shock you must be feeling. Very inadequate *hugs*. No advice, but we're all here for you and if you're anywhere near Oop North I will come round if you need company from an internet weirdo.

Oh OB! I'm so sorry to read this. No one deserves to go through what you have been through this year. It sounds like you and your H need a break from each other. Especially after what you wrote on page 1. From what i've read, and please forgive me if i've got this wrong, but you seem to be bringing out the worst in each other. You really need some time to get yourself back on track, and from what i've read, your H isn't the rock that you need right now. Surround yourself with your friends and family and take a bit of time to yourself.

Massive hugs to you OB ?

I agree with this.

OB this isn't good for either of you, really isn't. PLease do something this time, the house can be sorted out, you need to think of number 1 rgith now

You know where we all are xxx

Oh OB. I don't know what to say lovely.

I know we only hear one side of the story here, but I very rarely hear anything positive about your husband. Quite frankly he sounds like a selfish, childish arse a lot of the time. I agree with RKB on that you bring the worst out in each other when you should be helping each other the best person they can be.

I appreciate the above isn't helpful, just an observation. I truely hope something does change for the better soon. I can't imagine how drained you feel right now. And with the house purchase about to complete, my gosh I feel your stress levels.

You know where I am if you need a chat. So sorry you're in this situation right now.