How much is your oh involved

Mine has been quite good actually. He gets involved when I ask him to and seems keen when he does but the rest of the time he leaves me to it.

Thing is though, he does comment that if I ask for his opinion on something and I disagree with it, I'll do what I want anyway so what's the point?! Can't really disagree with that ?

xx

I'm quite lucky with my OH!

I'm like you, and leading the way and saying 'ooooh, look at this!' and 'oooooh, I would LOVE that' and although 9/10 he agrees he will give input and not just say 'yes dear' etc which is nice

It's because of this sort of thing that I decided to make the honeymoon all about him and we're doing a city break to Manchester so he can see his beloved Man U and do a stadium tour. That way I'm not feeling so guilty that everything is all my choice and he's just being towed along!

Mine is exactly the same! All he says is the most important thing for him is that I'm happy and weddings aren't important to men!

The way I got round this was by giving him options, I got things down to maybe 3 or 4 different options and then asked him which he preferred, he chose the colour scheme in the end! He also chose the suits, he had a firm idea what he wanted so this helped wiht his choice of colour scheme too.

Break things down into smaller elements that he may be interested in and before you know it he'll have opinions, then you'll wish he didn't have any input again! Haha

Mine is happy for me to do all the planning but he wanted input on the venue, food and the formality or in his case lack of it so no ushers, no taostmasters and his friend from OZ is going to be MC for the speeches.

Oter than that he just writes the cheques and I get on with it which is fine by me!

My OH is a bit odd...he makes a large song and dance about how I've to plan everything and He'll just turn up on the day, but every time I make a decision he then becomes interested! saying 'why have you chosen that, wouldn't such and such be better' So he has ended up being quite involved, he helped choose the colour scheme, cake, and he chose his own outfits.

My OH is very involved. Not one decision has been made without us discussing it first (apart from the dress). I will go away and find things, make sure everything is done at the right time, but he will always want to look at all the options and add any of his own suggestions.

He deals with the money (always has with general house stuff) as he enjoys that side fo it, but apart from that everything is a joint decision. Its nice as it feels very much like we're planning our wedding, not my wedding that he turns up to and says 'i do'

JoJo2 mine has said the same thing, you tell me how much and I will pay it! I suppose I shouldnt complain ?

This sounds exactly like me and my OH! I asked him what he thought about the menu the other day and when he gave me his answer( which wasn't what I wanted him to say) I then spent 10 minutes trying to convince him that his opinion was wrong!

County Flower I have a feeling this is what is going to happen with us. knowing him very well it happens all the time. I make a decision and then he wants to know why I choose that. After telling me to go ahead! Men lol

Haha we're all the same! Yes I think narrowing down is the best option and I use that technique too ? xx

Anniepie i love the way you broke it down, I may try this.

You are so right about society telling men that it's the brides day. he has said this to me and I have told him a few times that it is not MY day it is OUR day. He says he don't really care what the bridesmaid wear as it's me he is marrying! Bless him

I feel the same I want him to enjoy the day and also when it is the wedding day i want him to be able to say that we done it togather. We work so well as a team thati just know if we can get the balance right about plannign then we will have the day that we both want. I think men think that us girls have been planning our big day from the age of 5, so they can't really have an input as we have it planned. Yes we may have thought about it more than men but things can change and you take their ideas and put them with yours.

xx

Mine is much the same, we decided on the budget together, but otherwise he is leaving it to me!! I guess in some peoples minds this must sound like bliss, and in a way it is, however, at times I wish for some input, however small. I know when the time comes he will be there helping, and this I will be thankful for. In his mind organising a wedding is simple, you decide a date, book a venue, he gets a suit I get a dress, you invite a few friends, turn up on the day, job done no big deal!!! Bless him!?

Ours was pretty much half and half. It was a significant day in our relationship so it was only right that his input was significant.

I'm a PA so naturally an organisation freak, and I am sat at my desk all day so have been doing most of the research at work and then running everything past him. He is quite happy with this as long as I'm not going overboard with extras / money.

OH is more involved than I am. I come here for ideas and because I like talking weddings and looking at the lovely dresses but when it comes to actually researching things for our wedding (in Italy so we have a lot of paperwork to do too) he is well ahead of me! No decisions are made without it being a mutual decision. Luckily we tend to agree, neither of us cares about flowers, decorations etc etc but the location, accomodation and food are very important to us both ?

The only issue I have is what he wants to wear which is obviously nothing to do with me. He wants a light coloured suit which I think will look horrendous, I'd much prefer he bought a bespoke navy or charcoal classic that he can wear for years to come. Not that I'm pushing my opinion on him, I just made it known what I think ;-)

Not very!

He was equally involved in setting the budget, the guest list, the church and the venue. Since then, it is pretty much, "wedding, what wedding?"

I wish mine was more involved. I like that I get to pick everything, but I hate that he doesn't seem to care!! He helped make the decision on the venue (OK, he agreed with what was ultimately my decision on the venue), picked his own best man and ushers and agreed with what I said I would like on the menu. Everything else is my job, and he'll just go along with whatever. I don't want to force him to take an interest, but jeez!!

Mr F luckily has been quite involved..i want the day to show both our personalities not just mine!

He emails me now and again and idea for a cake, or someting else hes found that he thinks we could use...he even found the Bms hair flowers one day!!

id hate for him to say 'just let me know where and when and il be there'

Hhhhmmmm involved, erm yes and no, OH has been to lots of Venues and does come to majority of the Wedding Fayres, but not sure if I would call it involved. He half listens to what I rabbit on about and puts the odd comment in and certainly tells me what I he dosent like or want.

BUT I'm yet to see him hands on, he will be dragged into the whole stationery making, but as we are having our reception at his home there is a lot of work to be done behind the scenes which will be all him!!!

Claire your profile pic shoes are gorgeous, where are they from? (iydmma)

I am goign to to sit down tonight and make a list of everything that needs to be done/planned ( I love lists) and I have told OH to keep saturday night free and we will go though everythign that neews to be done and see what he wants input on and what he does not. Also I am hoping we have a date set by the end of the weekend!! Excited ?

xx

I checked my OHs twitter status earlier confirming he cares more about the stag do than the wedding lol. Charming!

That was one of the first things Oh said "oh what shall I do for my Stag" LOL But then they know about drinking but don't know much about favours lol

I know he does care about the wedding, but what we have on the tables is not so important to him. I just cant wait to get planning! I am really going to annoy him and get myself a planning notebook!

xx

Blimey... If its not 'christian bashing' its 'men bashing' on here !!!!

Arent the men on this forum sensitive souls...

Ha ! I was only joking, just a slow afternoon at work and bored, and between this and my football forum that takes up my days, its bloody quiet today !

I have planned the majority. I can ask him to look into things for me and he will. He actually asked to get more involved.

I did also send him to our venues wedding fayre armed with notes the other week when I couldn't make it and he did so well, he entered me into all the competitions and brought back hundreds of leaflets.

He watches DTTB, Bridezillas and Hitched or Ditched with me. But upon reading my wedding mags told me all the dresses look the same.

Mine gets involved too much.

He is now known as Groomzilla.

He wants to help pick everything, colours, cake, flowers, venue, food, cars, dj - Everything!!

No such thing as 'too involved' - apart from picking your dress and things related to it, there's nothing your OH shouldn't be involved with, after all it's both of you getting married so why should only one partner organise it?

As a 'very involved groom' I was as active in our planning as my now wife, and it worked perfectly. We'd chat about things, I'd do some research or ask people on here, then report back later to her and we'd discuss things before making a decision. People said our day reflected us both - which is exactly how it should be. Granted, most guys don't get excited about flowers, table decoration, colour schemes/themes and all the 'incidentals' - but even the most uninterested groom ought to have some opinions on things like your wedding transport, evening entertainment, menu options, ceremony readings etc.

In fact, I would be more worried about a "don't care" groom than an involved groom. I've read time and time again where the bride has even decided what the groom is wearing, as if he isn't allowed to even go and buy a suit on his own!

Unfortunately society has, for years, rammed into us that it's the bride's big day, and everything wedding related is bride-centric to the point where we can almost feel like an accessory that just turns up.

Every time i ask my oh things he just said "whatever you want" lol the only thing he wants a final say on is the menu because he is a really fussy eater (i still think he'll end up going to burger king between the breakfast and the evening do lol) and the suits that he and his best man wear.

i do ASK him about things and he tends to agree with whatever i want. - he did suggest a startrek themed wedding and that was his imput lol. hes going to come with me to the florist to talk about buttonholes and the reception flowers but he's just going to go with what i think tbh. He likes the cars and we discussed the bus together. He will come see the venue before we put down our deposit (its on a 4 week hold before we need to actually put the money down) but he said he trusts my views and has seen pictures. He's going to be fussy about rings though, i can tell lol

basically if there was something he hated he would say so, but otherwise hes happy to go along with what i want

as for the ceremony he says thats my area because hes athiest and im catholic si were having it in the church and says because im so into my faith and he has none i can have it the way i want it to be

Completely disagree. I think the fact is that most men ( not ALL, I said most ) could not care less about helping with wedding planning. I constantly ask OH for his opinions on everything wedding related and he just tells me to do what I want. I think if your OH wants to be involved in the planning then your very lucky.

Mine helped in finding the venue as he felt this was something he wanted to be involved in and will pick the suits on his own but other than that he's not interested and I'm not going to force him to help if he doesn't want to. Sometimes I wish he was more involved but actually I like that I can do it my way xx