How to avoid baby talk?

Just reply with 'we arnt planning on having any'..what can they say to that!

I've had this for a while, and have started batting the question back and asking them about their sex life (which is, kind of, in effect what they're asking you). Usually they're so shocked, they stop dead in their tracks, mutter something vague and dash off. Happy days. They haven't asked for a while now...

Do this!

Some people are so bloody nosey!

I am barren. (This is preferable to "We can't" as it sounds more formal, more contrived and therefore more ambiguous - they won't know if you're telling the truth or not).

I think it's pure vanity to have your own children when there are millions who need a loving home.

Tell me, how is YOUR sex life?

Why do you want to know?

This is not a good one. People try to talk you into having kids and will give you 100million reasons and bloody essays on why you should have kids.

Arghhh, forgot the one I more often than not use.

Yeah. we're planning on buying one from Vietnam or somewhere.

Generally my response to 'so when are you having kids?' is a cold, 'we're not' not inviting any further conversation... nobody has tried a second time so I assume it works

all of these are excellent! you need to be blunt, the smile and a laugh just leaves them open to ask more! It really irritates me.

some friend recently announced they were having a baby and the rest of our friends have come up with the mad conclusion of "well you got married next after them so you'll be the next to get pregnant" erm, no, that isn't how it works!

My family are the worst, went to my brothers for lunch a couple of weeks ago to meet my new nephew and whenever I was holding him some one would pip up with "oh that suits you" or "your next then" or "how long will it be before you're holding your own"

I started ignoring people which they picked up on and shut up but my nice and nephew carried on, I feel bad ignoring them as they don't really know any better. what do you say to a 12 year old who askes "why don't you have a baby yet?"?!?!

This is annoying isn't it!

Agree with Cookiekat though, if you say you don't want any they just give you a smug knowing look and say 'you'll change your mind' it's infuriating.

I think the best one I heard was my SIl say, 'well as soon as my OH has had his last sex change operation we'll look at adopting'

I struggle to be polite to people now when they ask and recently told a friend of my H to F off when she asked for the millionth time in about a month. (FYI wouldn't recommend this!)

A few people have asked us. I always give a terse "we're not". And that tends to shut people up.

Love this one haha!

I've seen a similar post before and always love reading the witty responses - I myself have no imagination and use a simple"not yet" answer.

We will be trying soon but don't want the world to know - I just dont get involved in any conversations about it haha "not yet" head back down and back to work. They soon get the message. Every time we visit the MIL she wants to know if "we have any news?" - every time!!! She gets a "NO" and a subject change - leave us alone to get pregnant in peace woman!!!!

I'm not too good at quick fire remarks so would completely flop at asking about their sex life lol

The vietnam child made me laugh, I should be able to get that out without messing up!

2 of my bridesmaids are betting on how long it takes us!

We had a sweep stake done by my H's friends about a week before we got married last year! they didn't seem to see why it was so offensive/annoying for us.....

I also find this very annoying, everyone seems to want to rush your life thru... My answer is normaly just something like "plenty of time for all of that" of "havent decided if we are having any yet" I hate being put in the situtation!

I have to say personally I'd never ask this question. You don't know the ins and outs of couples home lives and it can be really upsetting to be asked. It's a very personal question IMO

H doesn't want children and there's a strong chance we couldn't even if we wanted to but that's not something we advertise to the world (poss too much sharing here?) hence my cold response whenever I get asked.

?

I'll need to remember this one.

I've gotten it loads since we got married from work and from H's family. Its not bothered us yet, we just laugh it off and say not for a few years.

It majorly p1sses off my mum though, the way she sees it - we might have either been trying and failing, had a m/c or are completely unable to have/or just dont want children. They dont know our situation. She's right and i'm sure when we start TTC it will bother me more.

I always respond with 'First let's talk about your sex life'.

Why do you want to know?

Is the best response to many an unwanted question. When/If you do have babies you can use it a million more times. Best start practising ?

I know how you feel Chedi. I have PCOS. OH also has a slight problem and we've been through 3 cycles of IVF with no joy. 3 girls I work with have had babies in the last year or so and so many of the blokes have up-duffed girlfriends/finacees/wives or recently had a baby, it's ridiculous. All I heard was 'It'll be you next', well, yeh, that's the plan, but it's not quite working out like that. I've had 2 MCs this year and people still say it!

I was open about our problems and IVF so everyone knows that we are trying and are struggling and have pretty much all seen me completely break down over it, but they just don't think. I work with over 300 people so I try not to take it personally, just people forget things. With the people I see most I found just telling them that we were trying and we're under enough pressure without other people piling in was usually the easiest, but then you get a lot of 'You'll get there. and my favourite 'At least you can have plenty of fun practising' Uh, not really! "Practising" is pointless in baby making terms, hence the IVF and to be perfectly honest, when all you can think about is having a baby and you know that just having sex won't work, it kinda takes the fun out of it. Now, I just say I can't have them and people soon shut up.

Got a bit rambly there, sorry. If you don't want people knowing you are struggling, then maybe telling them you can't have them will be best, but you also have to think how you will feel if this turns out to be true. It's heart breaking enough without having to explain why you are upset to people who already 'know' what you have just found out for yourself. My preferred response was along the lines of 'We're trying, but we've got problems so it's a lot harder than we expected. I'd really rather not talk about it'.

I hate this. I tell people the thought of having a child makes me vomit and I would rather push hot pins in my eyes. That normally rams the message home. Only the brave tend to try and go down the 'well you will feel different when you are order'. Piss off I'm 29.

I really think it is so rude and inconsiderate of people to ask these questions as you never know a persons personal circumstances. I know they are probably just trying to make conversation and be nice but it's not on.

I would just say you are in no rush and want to wait a few years at least, hopefully they will get the picture in the end.

I have started replying with a few I found online

We are starting as soon as I get off the crack

we're waiting to see how yours turn out before we decide

When they come with a guarantee

Or a variant of this: "Kids? No thanks, I've seen what yours are like"

?

Sooo using this.

It never used to bother me people asking this, but now it does. Maybe because we are going to start trying next week (permission to bounce?!!) and I dont want everyone knowing my business!

I give off an anti-children vibe, and so nobody ever asks us, I think most people will be in shock when I finally end up pregnant ?

We announced at the wedding that we're spending six months hiking the Appalachian Trail (2200 miles from Georgia to Maine) for our honeymoon.

That pretty much quashed any sort of baby expectations. ?

Firstly, bigs hugs to all those having issues. It wasn't until my sister had issues that I realised it isn't just a distant fear i have but something that actually happens to a lot of people.

OH and I are lucky in that nobody asks us, in fact people openly tell us not to have kids yet as we're not fully qualified yet. (And won't be soon enough as far as I'm concerned).

However, I know that we'll start getting these questions once i've qualified.

When my colleagues ask, I'm always slightly wary, as I feel like their underlying subtext is "So, are you going to be my competition when it comes to applying for registrar jobs?" but mostly I just give a fairly non-committal answer like "Oh, not just yet, maybe in a year or two."

If people press me, I just give them the cancer guilt-trip. Though in truth I'm really concerned that this is actually going to cause problems and am seriously researching different PCTs' IVF policies when considering where to move to...