I feel like pulling the plug!!

Ahhh pink hugs coming your way lovely. Wedding planning is a stressful time for any couple and I cant imagine a single couple who havnt had the odd row me and oh have had our fair share of arguments, its alot of pressure to handle and I know how you feel as I have plannedliteraly everything with very little help from oh it does get easier I promise you just need to bare with it. you'll sort things out for sure sounds like you both just need a bit of a breather, the yantrums and tears will be all worth it come the day thats what I keep telling myself xx

Thankyou Claire. It is so stressful i thought it would be amazing planning a wedding! The reason i am putting so much pressure on myself is that i want to make it amazing for him! Good to know we are not alone! Think i might put a ban on talking about the wedding for a few days!! Thats if he decideds to even talk to me! haha!!!

xx

It cerainly is stressful doing all this planning alone. For the record I can't get any sense out of OH today with the golf on either. Hopefully the two of you will be able to go through your lists when there are no distractions and you are both in the mood for wedding planning.

Speaking as a guy, that may be part of the problem.

Generally, us guys aren't interested in all the little things like table plans, favours, bridesmaid shoes etc - we'd be happy just to turn up on the day, go through the "legal bits" to get married, then that's it.

Of course, it's hard to have to arrange everything on your own - but there is always a danger that when you ladies go on about weddings for hours and hours on end every single night, most guys will switch off. There are some things he needs to do - find ushers, choose a best man, decide if they are having matching suits or not, write a speech - but there are other things we can do which doesn't take us out of our "comfort zone" like finding transport, helping with choosing the menu, evening entertainment etc.

I know that if my bride turned up on the day wearing her gardening clothes or a bin bag, the day would still be great because at the end of the day we'd end up as husband and wife - and absolutely nothing can outdo that. As long as the venue is ok on the day, you both turn up, the registrars arrive and you can find two witnesses - the rest is extra.

A wedding is a shared event. But quite often guys are not just left out but virtually pushed aside by an enthusiastic bride (and possibly parents who think that it's their day to organise) who have been dreaming of her big day as a princess since she was about 3.

I'm sure that there are many things your h2b is into that he enthuses about but you fight to keep the yawns under control when he goes on and on about it. It's the same but in reverse.

Oh dear, it will feel like the end of the world now but it willl get better.. it's very stressful plannign the big day. One of the big myths from the movies is that a female posse arrive out of nowhere and all pitch in of bottles of champagne! I've experienced the same problem asking for help and getting people involved, as most people I know are married and have lost interest in wedding planning :-/

Maybe next time you want to go through the list, do it in a quiet corner in a pub (without sky sports!) - my secret weapon with my HTB to get him to concentrate!

@ajdown - totally agree - wedding planning vs a lifetime of football matches, evens it out between the sexes for boring the other half! :-)

Sport v weddings.

Car maintenance v "does my bum look big in this".

Fishing v cooking.

Putting a shelf up v putting a washing load on.

There are many differences between male and female, it's a wonder we haven't died out in a couple of generations to be honest. I don't think that it's necessarily such a bad thing, as life would be very boring if we were all the same. It's just a simple fact that most guys aren't as interested, or want to take part in all the wedding planning, as you ladies do.

Remember for years we've been told "its the brides big day" and how the bride and her mother plan everything, so it's no wonder we aren't that bothered.

To the OP, I hope everything sorts itself out, and it helps you realise that you perhaps aren't alone with both of you not being the same amount of enthusiastic about the wedding. You can't force him to take a big part in the planning if he doesn't want to, any more than he can force you to go and watch a football match with him if it's really not your kind of thing. The key is finding the bits he is interested in helping, and letting him find some options that you can choose together - remember neither of you has a casting vote over any aspect of your wedding and just because one of you wants something doesn't mean it's gonna happen if the other really doesn't like it.

And Breathe..... it can be really stressful trying to organise it by yourself, you need to know when to ask for help! My OH has offered to take a few duties which has helped loads (remember it is a special day for both of you). He has suggested that we have weekly meetings about it so that you're both focussed on what you need to be without anything else getting in the way. (This hasn't actually started yet as he thinks we have ages to go so doesn't see the point in rushing yet ?)

As AJ said, the little things are not always as important to our OH as we would like them to be.

HTH

Jx

Ah try not to worry, I completely understand where you're coming. Whilst I am loveing the planning, it's way more stressful than I thought and had definitely caused me and H2B to bicker more than we ever had!!

x