Invite politics...

Yes, I'm in the same situation - I'm planning to invite some but not all of my colleagues. They're adults, they're just going to have to deal with it. We don't have infinite space to invite everyone we know. If you're very worried about it, just have a quiet word with the ones you're inviting to explain that some people aren't invited and you'd appreciate it if they didn't talk about the fact that they're going in front of the others.

I think most of us have some sort of situation like this when it comes to invites, it's really tricky.

Personally I think if she was going to be the only one not invited then that would be a little unfair, if I were you I would invite her, especially if it's just to the evening do. Chances are she won't come but at least you have made the effort on your part then if you are all talking about it together afterwards then she can't hold a grudge coz she was given the chance to come.

This

Im in a bit of a similar situation..... I work with a couple of my friends, they just automatically assumed that they would be invited to my wedding once they found out I was engaged, I have never said or done anything to give them reason to believe that they'll be invited - so I dunno where its come from. Although we're mates and we work together, I wouldn't consider them close enough to me to invite to my wedding day. I will be giving them evening invites, they will be most welcome to come to it... But I think the day should be for family and close friends x

WTS

This is what i'm having to do... work in an office with 5 people, one of which is my ex-friend who decided a year ago she hated me and told me not to speak to her again unless it was work related. I don't really want her at my wedding reception but to keep the peace at work we've given her a save the date because the other 4 are invited - i'm hoping she doesn't come coz it's hard enough seeing her at work every day let alone seeing her at my wedding when originally she was to be a bridesmaid and now she won't even give me the time of day!

I had a friend like that PurpleStar....He was a great pal, like a brother to me. But he took the p*ss out of my friendship, he left his wife cos he was with another woman - then I had his ex-wife on the phone to me crying about how much she missed him, she loved him blah blah blah...Then when he vanished for a few days I had the new woman on the phone to me crying - I was like the agony aunt for his ex wife/current girlfriend - keeping in mind I'd only met his wife a handful of times and his current beau at a mutual friends wedding reception! So it wasn't like I knew them or anything!! he was always asking me to cover for him at work (he went on a couple of benders and never showed for work) ..like wtf!? Then he turned into a complete a**ehole over night, started ignoring me and bullying me via email, he tried making things so awkward for me at work and what for? For being a good friend. I just told him that I no longer wanted anything to do with him. I'll be giving a few work friends an evening invite, but he can go whistle cos he isn't getting anything!

This has been a worry on my mind since i set our wedding date over a year ago. I work with 40 people and am only really close with about 4 of them. I work closely with a team of 10 of us but only see the others in the staff room. I couldn't possibly afford an open invite for 20-40 people to my evening do just from work so i have just decided to explain myself and give the 4 girls who i am really close to a private invitation and asked to keep it on a low. I know it seems sly but i really can't pay for all them plus my other friends and family and OH's too.

Its not sly at all hun, you have to think about the people who are important to you - family and close friends. Back when we first got engaged, I got myself into a state worrying about the people we couldn't invite - but my OH kept me right in saying as long as we have the people that matter - that's all that matters, we can't please everyone - and he is soooo right! Don't worry about the rest of the people at work - they shouldn't really expect to be invited of you only see them in the staff room xx

Thanks hun. I agree. Isn't it terrible that it is your special day and you seem to spend the time worrying what others will do , say think or feel when it shouldn't matter. So frustrating but i am sure they will get over it.

I have just been explaining it is only going to be something small and i can't afford to cater for them all as we are on a small budget.

The ones i have spoke to seem to understand so i'l leave it at that and try not to worry myself over it anymore.

Completely agree with this. I work for a large company, and around 200 people work in our branch, and am friendly with nearly all of them. I obviously can't invite them all, so will just have to hope that people will accept that I will invite those that I'm closest to.

It is awful that we worry about people we can't invite ☹️ ..Its exhausting worrying about everyone! Its good that the people you've spoken to understand - it shows you that they're realistic! x