Is it possible to be...

Of course it is young Eric.....

How long have I known you now?

And youu know that for every minute of that time I've been firmly of the opinion

That I'm a mad ride.

I bloody well hope so! I'm only 4 years away from 35!

Eric knows fine rightly it is.

She's doing one of those girl things.

No I'm not fishing at all - I feel 16, I look 26, but actuallly today I realised I'm none of those things, I'm a fecking single mother of 2 who's 35 - excellent!

I dont know where my next orgasm is coming from ?

Amaretto, Baileys & Tia Maria.... So probably from the local offy

Nick I'll never know ?

I don't care where they come from (within reason)

You got me! <scribbles shopping list>

?

Ryan had a party in the house last week and all his female friends delighted in telling me how great I looked ... I could almost see the wee brain cogs adding ' for a mum' - I wanted to scream I'm only feckin 35!'

He was only bloody 4 last week....

Feckin barsteward has left me bereft - how dare he!

I'm devastated actually.

LOL

You'll cope!

And you are waring well.....

Yeah Madame Onasis has nothing on me.

I've just realised its 3.30 - family men dont normally stay out until this time unless they're shagging someone?

Christ Nick I need a night out

I'm sure it could be organised. ?

Oh feckin joy of feckin joys....

Since aforementioned son split beer on the laptop I've been forced to hitching under the stairs, well.... guess what else is under the stairs... only the feckling smoke alarms.

So here I am being devasted and all and the the bloody smoke alarm goes off.

All I did was have a fag....

<lies down and gives up>

Right then - you're taking me out for a night of fun and frolics tomorrow night.

Or I'll take you out.. either way, I need to escape and stay out until past 3.30...

I'll see you in the whig at 9 pm

I set mine off last weekend. I have a 12' ceiling in the hall....?

You're alright madam, and there will be boozing and adventure in the near future I'm sure. However NO Dolly, NO Kenny and poitively NO Charlene.

Sorry dear heart but I start werk at 9 tomorrow.....

I'm I allowed a wee cartwheel....?

Cartwheels ARE permitted.

Mmkay, I'll see you in the Duke - put me on the list - I'm out the marra night.

Alright-y.... But <sensible head> don't be doing tit-fers </sensible head>

Nick its not like that - I just need a feckin release is all.

I mean I go to my ma and da's but the coversatsion turns...

I just need to forget it all for a few hours.

And as you'll be playing Abba and all...

Tomorrow night?

I'll be playing bugger all. Other than whistling while I hang around a door.

Well feckin Johnny or whoever will be playing Abba (if I ask nicely ?)

I dont care.

Did you ever get your phone back?

I go a phone... Sometimes it even works.

I dont think he's coming home tonight.

I'm going to lock up and go to bed.

Night kid ? ?

Night Wee Eric... You take care. K?

G'night Nick ?

You're a Star

i'm a single parent of 39. my 17 year old daughter's male friends said i was a milf. i pretended to be disgusted but inside i was delighted.