Loving yourself

[bites tongue hard about self-loving]

Chin up ? Would it help if you made a list of the things you DO like about yourself?

If i knew the answer, i'd be a millionaire!! lol

there's a really good Relate book, called Loving yourself, Loving another. I'm getting Mr Smith to read it, it's really good http://www.amazon.co.uk/Loving-Yourself-Another-Self-esteem-Relationships/dp/0091856760/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1209242257&sr=1-4

Is there a specific aspect of yourself that you don't feel good about? If you can work out the particular problem then you can find ways to improve things. My issues are that I'm not happy with my weight right now, and I don't feel like I stretch myself enough intellectually. SO, I'm training for Race for Life, and doing an OU course. Doesn't improve all the self esteem issues but it helps a little bit.

Also it's important to cut yourself some slack too. You seem like a nice guy from the little I've spoken to you. I'm sure you've got friends that care about you, maybe you could arrange to see some of them? ?

quote:Originally posted by Mrs S Smith
if i knew the answer, i'd be a millionaire!! lol

there's a really good Relate book, called Loving yourself, Loving another. I'm getting Mr Smith to read it, it's really good http://www.amazon.co.uk/Loving-Yourself-Another-Self-esteem-Relationships/dp/0091856760/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1209242257&sr=1-4

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Thanks might look into it!

I wish I knew.

I am two people. In one version I am super confident and I know I'm clever and pretty and can take on the world. When I am the other I get sad and get frustrated I haven't fulfilled my potential. I think I am capable of so much more and I've let myself down. I also think I'm fat and ugly and a horrible person. I get quite self destructive when I'm like this and wind myself up terribly 'til my head spins.

Which reminds me I better go take my tablets.

FWIW I think this is a really common issue - I truly believe that most people suffer from lack of self confidence sometimes which is what I interpret not loving myself to be. I'm having some counselling and trying to just 'be me' and be happy with that. I'm also trying to listen when my H tells me I'm a nice person as I can be pretty hard on myself.

Sorry that was all me me me.

How about thinking about why you might not love yourself (perhaps write these things down)? You could then see if you could pick a couple to talk to others you trust about. You may well find that their perspective on things differs v much from your own view and that might help you??

I find it hard writing down my good attributes. Not sure why to be honest.

Always guess I have always been quite humble, maybe its stemmed from that

You're very passionate about your interests.
You seem to be caring about people close to you
You can crack the odd funny joke

Now continue it...

I always thought you were very sweet and a very nice person (if a little naive at times). You got a good sense of humour and seem to be able to laugh at yourself. I also think you've grown up a lot since I started on here (about 5/6 years ago! wow doesn't time fly!).

Thanks for all the nice things.

I really wish I could make myself believe all those things about myself. It`s harder taking advice than giving it.

We'll have to keep telling you until you believe.

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I don't think you have to think yourself great to love yourself - do you think all of your loved ones are attractive or clever or witty? Or do you even like them all the time? I know I don't - but I love them anyway. Same with myself, I know I'll probably never be the prettiest, cleverest or funniest in the room - and I don't always like myself - but I do love myself and believe that I am an ok human being.

? Try believing that, like everyone else, you deserve basic respect and give yourself it - accept that you'll never be perfect, who is? and tell yourself 'actually, I'm alright'.

I dont love myself (but, i wouldnt want to) i think im alright, i know others think im alright, im a good person, thats all that matters!

The way to loving yourself is unconditional acceptance - you need to accept who you are (your strengths and weaknesses) and you need to find some people who accept you for who you are (which may just be people on here).

We all have a basic goodness inside us, but it is sometimes hard to see it. Once you find it, you will not only love yourself (what else can you do when you see life for the miracle that it is) but you will love others too.

Failing all that, you might just want to listen to "The Greatest Love Of All" by Whitney Houston a few times.

quote:Failing all that, you might just want to listen to "The Greatest Love Of All" by Whitney Houston a few times.

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Have a ? Glider - you're not that bad really ?

quote:Originally posted by Eric

quote:Failing all that, you might just want to listen to "The Greatest Love Of All" by Whitney Houston a few times.

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Have a ? Glider - you're not that bad really ?

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I'm listening to the song now. When I actually listened to it properly about two months ago, I realised the wisdom held in it. I know it's cheesy, but it is actually true. Even down to letting children lead the way. I've learned a lot from my two kids.

I`m sorry but if I had to listen to Whitney I really would through my self from a great height just to make it stop!

Thanks for those words Luth, they make a lot of sense.

If you can't stand Whitney there is a good Andy Abraham (of X Factor fame) version. Or maybe you can just read these lyrics:

(Are you allowed to post song lyrics here? I'm new so don't know.)

I believe that children ARE our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be

I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone's shadows
If I fail, if I succeed
At least I'll live as I believe
No matter what they take from me
They can't take away my dignity
Because the greatest love of all
Is happening to me

Everybody's searching for a hero
People need someone to look up to
I never found anyone who fulfilled my needs
A lonely place to be
And so I learned to depend on me

I found the greatest love of all
Inside of me
The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself
It is the greatest love of all

I believe that children ARE our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be

I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone's shadows
If I fail, if I succeed
At least I'll live as I believe
No matter what they take from me
They can't take away my dignity
Because the greatest love of all
Is happening to me
I found the greatest love of all
Inside of me
The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself
It is the greatest love of all

And if by chance, that special place
That you've been dreaming of
Leads you to a lonely place
Find your strength in love


That is a lot of wisdom right there!

Hope you're feeling better about things today glider ?

I'm sure the musical stylings of Whitney have helped no end ?

Awe mate you are a lovely guy. You are so caring and have a great sense of humour. You are loyal to your friends and have a lovely gentle side to you that not many men have. I know we haven't chatted for a long time but I really do consider you as one of my friends IRL and on here.

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