My husband is driving me mad! - updated

Oh dear, sounds like his mum used to do everything for him....

<dons flame proof vest>

MrV is from the same mould, 7 years later and I still can't get him to do things my way the correct way

He lived at home until he was 28 ? She hasn't worked since she had him, and dedicated her life to looking after every whim of him and his brother. I wouldn't have him straight from her, he had to live on his own for a bit. He seems to have forgotten all he learned then though ?

We have been together for 7 years next month. Is he beyond hope? I'm going to have to stop making his sandwiches, aren't I? The thing is, if I don't, then he buys lunch every day and we just can't afford that. Not that he would know, he has never checked our bank balance and doesn't even have an internet banking login.

Arrgh mine is just the same. "Do we have enough money for xx?" "When do I get paid?" Why don't you check the fucking bank account to see how skint we are, why is it alwasy me? Drives me mad.

Mine's mum didn't do everything for him. She had 4 kids and as she said to me she was no-one's slave, least of all to 4 children. So god knows what his excuse is!

Oh, food shopping. My husband is lucky to still be in possession of his knackers after last week, when he offered to look after the 2 boys, and let me have a couple of hours of "me time" - by going to Asda to do the family food shop. I declined, funny that!

My H was exactly like this and we ended up in so many arguements due to him thinking I would run around and baby him like his mum did (he went straight from living with his mum to moving in with me at uni and never learnt to fend for himself - I was young and stupid and took pity on him). I got a new job over a year ago which involves me spending a lot of time away from home and working far too many hours to count. So I stopped doing things, not because I took the decision to but because I wasn't here. And you know what? He can actually look after himself, he goes food shopping, cooks, irons, etc. It has made him appreciate what I do for him much more and now if I stand and iron his work shirts he makes me a cuppa while I'm doing it and thanks me (rather than expecting it to be done!)

Best thing I ever did in my opinion, everything is shared so much better between us and we argue far less. We'd been together 10 years when he learnt all of this, so your H is not beyond hope.

<makes note to self to bring son up to know how to look after a house and look after themself>

I called mine today and he was about to draw £30 out of our account. I said, "Er, no, you're not. We only have £4.12 in there til you get paid on Friday." Silence. Then, "What?! Where has all our money gone?" Had to point out that he's spent £278 on clothes this month and that he perhaps didn't ought to buy any more clothes for a while. ?

?

After the long weekend in which H barely left the house due to new PS3 game, I asked him what he had achieved that weekend and he said he'd got to level 3 on Streetfighter 4 ? It is like having a teenager, seriously.

We've moved banks and so don't have such huge overdraft facilities any more. I am starting to wonder whether it took his card as we've gone massively overdrawn!

If we run out of money he's like "What?! Where's it all gone? I haven't spend anything" Er, mortgage, council tax, your car, your petrol to and from work, the ton of food you eat every week, guitar lessons, heating this place, house insurance.

When the mortgage adviser came round the other week he asked if we had any savings, if so how much, what we owed on cards. I looked at H and he laughed nervously.

Updated above.

Time for a calm chat?

oh dear, are you laughing so you don't cry?

Sounds like you've got an uphill struggle there i'm afraid!

Time to sit him down and teach him a few of life's realities perhaps??

Sometimes he drives me SO mad! Surely this is not normal behaviour for a 34 year old man? I can't believe it's normal to wet yourself on a 45 minute journey. I asked why he didn't have a wee before he left, and he said he didn't need one ? It is like having a toddler.

Oh Doughnut! I don't know whether to ? or ? for you!!! How on earth did he manage to wet himself???

Blimey. As for the update - wtf? Do you mean he only told you five days after the fact and the clothes have been festering somewhere? Or he did put them in the machine, but not switch it on? Or washed them but then didn't take them out? Ewwww, in any case.

No I agree that is not normal behaviour I would be beyond mad with my H if he did that.

He told me on the day, but it was midnight so he shoved them in the machine and shut the door.

I only found them today when I went to do some washing.

I don't think a grown man wetting themselves is normal behaviour. I mean, surely, surely you would stop SOMEWHERE? It makes no sense. I would honestly be worried about H's mental health in an instance like that

L
xx

I thought men could just stop and pee at will...surely he could have just stopped somewhere?

Completely unacceptable behaviour. The weeing in the car I mean. Surely that's going to have to be valeted too? I mean, have you driven it since without knowing?!

I must say I'm with Lois on this one. Seriously, wetting himself? Wtf?

The only thing I can think of is booze, but I really hope not if he was driving...

Or, thinking about it, his physical health. It is so far from normal behaviour. I would definitely think there was something wrong, somewhere.

L
xx

I have driven it, and it stinks of Magic Tree, which he has taken out of the packet. Fortunately the car has leather seats.

I knew about it when he came home, he got in and told me. I was too livid by then and it was midnight and I had to try and sleep as I get up at 6am for work.

Mr R-A says 'how the fuck do you wet yourself in the car' ?!

The only other thing I've thought of is if he shunted someone (or got shunted) but doesn't want to tell you - in which case shock + seatbelt + full bladder could cause a pee leakage.

Seriously odd.

He said he had one pint. I don't think he would drink and drive. He's a total lightweight and I can tell if he's had more than a pint as he sounds pissed, and he's not that kind of knob to do something that stupid, honest!

He says I give him a hard time. I'm pretty peed off TBH.

If you shunt someone on the M4 though you'd probably cause some damage to the car, and it seems fine.

This is starting to sound made-up. It's not, sadly.

Have you asked him why he wet himself and didn't stop? I think that's where you need to start, tbh.

I did ask, as I was quite amazed TBH. He said it came on suddenly when he was nowhere near the services. I didn't really speak to him on Friday morning, then went out Fri night and came home on Sat, so I didn't see him much, and he didn't mention it again.

I'd bring it up again, and say that you're doing it because you're worried there might be something physically wrong.

Mr R-A has said that beer does make you have to wee (which is true, it's a diuretic) and I can sort of understand why being on the motorway would mean it's not as easy as it might be to pull over.

Mr R-A also says that he might have been thinking that if he stopped to pee on the side of the m-way late at night then he would have been pulled over and breathalysed... which he might not have wanted... even if it really was 'just one pint'.

<clutching at straws>

Hmmm... I have concluded that he's just a bit of a twat sometimes. He would be scared to stop on the motorway. He's not a very good planner (see intial rant!).

You know, I was having a conversation on this topic with a male friend yesterday, and he was convinced that men have lesser bladder control than women. Hence the reason why they have to stop at the side of roads and wee like cavalry horses all the time, whereas women can make it to toilet stops. I'd like some medical person to prove him wrong and tell me it's just laziness on their part <looks around hopefully>