My Husband's just told me he's leaving me

Oh my goodness. i take it you did not see this coming at all?

i'm really sorry, horrible timing too. ?

I'm so sorry ?

Is he completely adamant?

I knew things were bad and entertained the possibilty but it didn't seem real. I thought we'd get bad an d then agree to work it out. But he says there's no point, we can't get it back.

Oh my goodness, what a shock, I am not sure what to say, but I wanted you to know I am thinking of you.

I am sure there will be people here who can give you good advice.

Take care, all I can do is offer you a virtual ?

Oh Sare, what a terrible shock.

Big hugs for you xx

? I'm so sorry.

You poor thing!

Huge hugs to you, I am really sorry to hear that. I can't offer anything constructive unfortunately but am here, like others, to listen.

x

I'm so sorry ?

Could you ask him to go to relate? Maybe talk him into it in a 'it might help us manage a break up' kind of way and then hopefully it will get him talking about what has gone wrong and give you something to start on.

I am so sorry Sare, you must be in absolute peices you poor love. ?.

I suggested Relate. He said no because there was no point, it couldn't be worked out, and he's very adamant about starting a new life on his own so he wouldn't be willing to try the dealing with the breakup approach. It was his finality that's shocked me.

Oh Sare - what a horrible thing to hear ?

Oh sare

you poor love - i know things have been a bit of a struggle - but what a horrible blow

is there any hope that this may be a bit of a knee jerk announcement and time will get him to work over things?

you must be so frantic about the children

will be here for a while if you want to talk xx

Sare I'm so sorry. I know there's nothing I can say really but there's an ear here. Take care.

I'm so scared for the boys. The eldest is wise beyond his 7 years, and sensitive. He's going to be hardest hit, but the 5 year old has just settled into school and is doing well. How will they cope?

Oh God Sare - I'm so sorry to hear this. I don't have any wise words I'm afraid but like others, here to listen.

You must be in pieces ?

So sorry to hear this Sare.

Have either of you mentioned the children during the discussions?

I'm wondering if he is a complete barsteward and has given this no consideration.

What a fool.

Been there many years ago, here if you need to talk.

This may sound a little naff but is he at least going to stay through Christmas for the boys?

I'm so sorry to hear this and I hope you can find the strength to get through this. I would ask him to explain to the boys, with him there.

They will cope darling

i was 12 and my sister 10 when my folks announced (eventually) (or something like that)

in the end they did sort things out but we had years of conflict - push and pulling and emotional warfare - we made it through ok - not necessarily completely unscathed - but that was because it was so messy

they will be very upset - but they will be fine and much better if you dont fight in front of them, noisily in their earshot or blame them ( i am sure you wouldnt but just from my memories)

one of my daughter's friends parents split when she was7 and brother was 5

yes - there was a period of a few weeks of tears at school and general sadness but while they dont like each other the children seem pretty ok

it is worrying that my daughter comes and tells me about X's daddy not paying for the house so they will have to move out etc - so if it comes to it just make sure the stuff for grown ups stays with the grown ups - but be as honest as you can be without apportioning blame - and that needs to go for both of you

save that for hitched ?

mr j and i have come close to this and i know from being on the precipice how terrifying it felt - you must feel just appalling

apologies if my response has been too simplistic or trite

He was very reasonable about the boys, saying he still wanted to see them and support them.

I feel so sick right now.

Sare I'm so sorry for you. There's nothing encouraging to say (if he's digging his heels in).

When this happened to me, I thought I'd never eat again.

I cried and much more, but no matter how you feel now, you WILL come out the other end eventually.

It's like having a bug, you just have to go with it and go through all the *** feelings and tears etc.

Sorry to be so blunt Sare, but that's how it is. No point in me fancying it up for you.

Seriously,Im here if you need a shoulder.

Thanks everyone. Going to try to sleep now but don't suppose I will.

What really shite news I'm so sorry. Is he going to stay until after Christmas?

Thinking of you Sare.

Your family/friends will rally round and you wont be totally alone (although I know thats not what you want).

Sorry . Try and get some sleep, you'll need your strength for the boys.

hugs. xx

I'm so sorry Sare. Hope you manage to get some sleep. What an awful situation ?

Oh Sare you poor thing, I really dont know what to say as I hadnt realised things were bad. The next few months will be terrible - they will, but you and the boys will cope. Children are wildly resiliant, much more than we credit them with. Take care of yourself, and if you ever want to scream at anyone may as well be me - give me a shout anytime. ?

Oh, and he's a tool btw.

Huge ? sare. Im sure you are shocked and deeply hurt, I have been there this year and know how you are feeling. Please be strong for yourself and the boys, you all WILL get through this. We are all here for you, the support I got from hitchers helped me get through this crap year I have had and will help you too.

Such insensitive timing from him, theres never a good time I know but wtf a week before Christmas with 2 kids! Im gutted for you ? Please if you want to talk or anything just shout, I can relate to your feelings at the moment.

Keep strong ?

OMG Sare, I know how this feels if you want an ear or whatever please let me know babe xx

So sorry to hear this Sare. I remember you posting a while ago that things weren't great. I have to say it's pretty bad to do this just before Christmas, especially to the boys. I have a 7 and a 5 year old too, and I can just imagine how it would affect my 2, so you have my utmost sympathy, all of you.

? <---a big one

Oh Sare darling, I'm so sorry. What a terrible shock. ?

Your boys will cope, I promise. They are young enough to adapt to any kind of situation.

Please use us, we are all here for you. ?

I am really sorry to hear this - what a horrible shock for you and your boys. ?

So sorry Sare. I can't say anything to help except, your boys will be hurt but they will be ok. I left my ex when my children were young and they coped very well. It's you that you need to look after.