Nerves

Gin.

Copious amounts.

It's so common to be nervous before your wedding day - I like you, was so nervous about the ceremony, and my legs did actually shake throughout! You'll find though that on the day, when everything comes together, all your friends and family are there, that you'll feel a lot more relaxed though. Have you tried anything like Calms or Rescue Remedy before? I know a few people who swear by them when they're feeling anxious.

With your first dance, do you have to do the choreographed routine? If you feel really uncomfortable about it then could you change your plans? With that not being until your evening do you don't want to be worrying all day. I've seen a few couples who've learnt a routine, and I think unless you're really confident in your dancing ability, if you're nervous about the steps it'll show. I think it's so much nicer for a couple to have a bit of a shuffle, turn round a couple of times, have a cuddle and enjoy it - rather than be worrying where their feet go and counting steps ? Just remember it's your day too, and if you don't feel happy doing something you're more than entitled to say so.

Hope that helps a bit

Ali x

Can you go to your venue and in private practise your first dance, standing at the front etc? Also, nerves tend to only be able to last so long at a time before they disappear...chances are you'll be nervous in the morning and your nerves will 'run out' quick enough! Best of luck. Also, could you do the first half dance 'normal' and second half choreographed if learning it is stressful?

x

Oh no I'm a shy person as well. I'm feeling ok at the moment but I imagine with 2 weeks to go I will feel the same as you!

I am also dreading the vows. I remember at school I used to absolutely hate having to get up and give a presentation or anything.

I think just try and relex, remember that everyone there loves you. No one is thinking anything bad of you.

As for the dance, I am dreading shuffling around awkwardly so maybe having a set routine is better because you will be concentrating on that a bit more than just thinking oh god when will this song finish like I will be!

xx

Im sure all will be fine on the day...........you know everyone there so at least its not a room full of strangers!

When a friend got married recently she could not say lawful, each time it came out she said awful lol...............it broke the ice as everyone laughed and it made her feel better!

With regards to the dance couldn't you get the bridesmaids involved too? maybe they could do the routine with their partners with you and hubby in the middle?

Good luck, have a fantastic wedding day

As a disgustingly shy and nervous person myself I can understand this. Standing up speaking in front of people is usually a big no no for me, but just remember why you're doing it, you won't be alone OH will be right up there with you, so forget about all the people behind you (who love you dearly and are supporting you anyway) and just focus on speaking to the person you love standing next to you.

By the time the speeches come you will be in the biggest bubble of soppy romantic love ever so that people talking about you and all the stuff that usually makes shy people cringe will actually probably make you all warm and glowy inside, and you will be sat down, with alcohol.

I can't find a way to put a positive spin on a choreographed dance, that's just a big no no for me (any kind of dancing is a big no no for me) perhaps you could just tell your friends that the emotions of the day are getting the better of you and you can't concentrate on the choreography and just have a nice cuddle and a sway to the music instead.

ps someone above mentioned Rescue Remedy and I used it a couple times, first when I took my driving test, and second when I quit smoking and kept getting really anxious, and it helped for me.

I kept getting tsunami's of nerves every time I thought about it, and I am the most outgoing/gobby/nonchalant person ever.

All my friends turned up at the hotel the night before the wedding, and from the moment that we went up to greet them, all nerves dissappeared and we had a right jolly old laugh (and loads of wine).

In the morning, they started creeping in again but then the moment I put on my dress and my best mate came to chauffeur me in her car (and I had some more wine) I was rearing to go, couldn't wait. Dad, on the other hand, held up proceedings by being noisily sick in the bathroom, a result of nerves.

When I got to the alter (ie, table) and OH was standing there, we had more laughs because OH said

OH: I promise to love and respect me.

Me: No - you promise to love and respect ME!

OH: That's what I said

Me: No you didn't, you said you would love and respect YOU

OH: I DID say that!

Registrar: Please - it's not usual for the bride and groom to have a row whilst they are taking their vows......

*Everyone Laughs* - except my sister, who berated me for dicking about even during the most solemn moment of my life.

Don't worry about it. You'll be absolutely fine.

During your vows you won't even notice there are other people in the room, honestly.

Also remember you aren't standing at the front facing everyone and talking to them you will be facing your OH amd speaking to him.

Regarding the first dance why don't you just telll your OH you don't feel comfortable doing it? I know that sort of thing would be my worst nightmare!

Thanks so much ladies! I just hope I don't feel like this for the next couple of weeks.

I have used the rescue remedy drops before and they helped a lot (I forgot about those so thank you for reminding me) - I will invest in some this weekend.

Going to have a chat with OH about the dance this weekend - I don't want to feel under any pressure. I know everything will be fine on the day, I'm just worried I won't relax and enjoy myself because I'll always be dreading (being nervous about) the next part of the day!! xx

Love this..... trying to stay away from the gin though..... memory loss is a frequent occurance after copious amounts of this lovely drink and I want to remember the day haha

Just another thought on this - you could always simplify it a bit so that it's good for both of you? Maybe just do a shuffle with a few of the moves if you feel like it on the day? ?

Here's what I tell my brides:- Don't worry, it's natural to be nervous. It wouldn't be worth doing it if you didn't feel any emotion would it? Be brave and go along with the butterflies, I guarantee that they will melt away once you have said your vows, by which time you'll also realise that everyone is on your side and willing you to enjoy yourself. So let yourself enjoy every minute and don't waste any more time being nervous from then on.

By the way I get nervous too about doing the filming. That twinge of apprehension tells me I'm doing something worthwhile that I must get right and I'm sure it makes me work better. That's why I enjoy it.

Maybe leave most of the gin until after the ceremony though!

Ok. Just a snifter then....

I have to say the gin argument wins me over. If you're grinning from ear to ear in the ceremony no one will think anything is odd.

I'm liking the gin idea, perhaps if I start pickling myself in it now I will be nicely marinaded in two months time and all the last minute wedding woes will wash over me?!

Try something like Rescue Remedy, it won't take away all of excitement but it should help calm the nerves a little, if you're not sure try it beforehand and see how you go on.

This!

I was really nervous about saying my vows in front of everyone, I thought I'd get my words mixed up and I go red a lot, so I thought this was a guaranteed time that I would turn into a tomato! But it honestly didn't bother me one bit, I hardly noticed there were other people in the room with us, and I was so caught up in the excitement of what was going on, that I didn't have time to feel nervous once I got to the top of the aisle!

Ah I am having these same thoughts, I think anybody who hates public speaking will do but it is all your family and friends and they are not judging you. Plus the amount of talking you do in a civil ceremony is less than the presentations I have ever done!

I wouldnt feel happy doing a choreographed dance but it really isnt me, I am very uncoordinated and struggle with stuff like that (I am baffled by some of the exercises in 30 Day Shred! OH did briefly mention it but I soon but a stop to it!! Definitely tell him if you dont feel happy with it.

Well- I'm going down the medication route. I'll have propranolol (a beta blocker) on hand to help with the trembling; I have a rotten time with nerves, and it's gotten me through exams, speeches and various other nerve-inducing occasions over the past few years.

It won't stop the mental freaking out, but it will help with the racing heart, the trembling and the oh-god-I'm-going-to-vomit feeling.

Failing that, I like the suggestion of gin.

So glad to hear I'm not the only one feeling like this!

last night I couldn't sleep with nerves, my stomach was in knots as I fretted over silly things such as how quickly do I walk down the aisle, how do I stand when I reach my man, what if I'm red and blotchy.... Very likely!!

Off to purchase rescue remedy tomorrow and maybe a large bottle of gin haha!!

I cannot recommend rescure remedy enough! I took it before Exams/driving tests for a couple of weeks in my morning cuppa unbenownst to me, for years thanks to my mum.

Also used it recently for Work stress - mega projects etc etc but they also do pastels, which are great, I think boots had ano offer on last week for them too, but cannot remember if it was a short offer or not - have a nosey. ;-D