The latter part of today has just been horrible. My poorly grandad passed away this afternoon. It's so tragic as an hour before he died he told his main nurse that once he was better, he would treat her to a trip to Ireland (that's where her home is). He was such a kind and genarous man who dedicated his early life to the army and later to my nan the woman he truly adored. I can't believe that only last week I gave him a kiss good-bye on leaving the hospital and that I would be visiting at the weekend - now I'm too late (that's also weird as I was the only visitor that night that gave him a kiss)! He had been suffering with a very serious case of pneumonia and wasn't responding so well to the treatment - he was 81. I know he is at peace now. However, my poor nan has alzhiemers and he was her primary carer up until a few weeks ago when she suffered a mini stroke and is currently in a stroke respite hospital and doesn't know that her husband of 60 years has been taken away from her. We don't even know how she will take the news or remember him as her memory is not so good these days - the nature of the disease. Such a sad story as I don't want to lose her as well but I have read that that can happen sometimes with really old marrieds (excuse the term really old marrieds - I couldn't think of what else to write instead). My nan is now going to be placed into a nursing home!
Anyway, I'm off to the chapel on Sunday to say my good-byes - not sure how I'll feel but it's something I want to do although part of me is thinking that I would rather remember him before he became ill and frail! It feels so weird I knew it was going to happen someday but nothing ever prepares you for when it does. To top it off this is a true four weddings and a funeral with our 4th wedding on Saturday! The show I guess must go on - my grandad certainly wouldn't want us moping around, it just doesn't feel right to just be normal under the circumstances! I feel guilty. I had to attend a wedding rehearsal tonight so as not to let our couple down now that did feel weird but had to be done.
No need to respond I feel a bit better now - So glad that we did eventually get married after 16 years and both of them were there at our wedding and I have photo's and video of the day where they are featured! I have lots of found memories which I shall of course treasure forever - I've gone through them so many times this evening to my hubby, who has listened to every word just letting me ramble on and on. ?
xxx
