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K
Beginner November 2013

Rant about Bridesmaid!!

katiemoulton87, 12 November, 2012 at 20:44

Posted on Planning 195

I do apologise but i need a good rant!!!! Getting married 16/11/13 and have just confirmed venues and what we are having etc, i asked my bridesmaids a couple of months ago to be part of our day. I have 3 adults and a 4 year old flower girl. I am trying to organise all 3 adults plus me to go dress...

I do apologise but i need a good rant!!!!

Getting married 16/11/13 and have just confirmed venues and what we are having etc, i asked my bridesmaids a couple of months ago to be part of our day.

I have 3 adults and a 4 year old flower girl.

I am trying to organise all 3 adults plus me to go dress shopping and it's proving a difficult task. I actually live in Hull, but i'm from Leicestershire and having the wedding there. 1 of my bridesmaids lives in Scunthorpe and the the other 2 are also from Leicestershire.

BM1 - My Cousin - More like a big sister has been great, just freeing up time as and when i ask. She's a a size 12-14 dress.

BM2 - My Childhood friend - She's been there for me alot and shes amazing. She's a police officer so her time off is precious but has really odd shifts so am trying my best to work around her. She is a pretty little thing and a size 6/8

BM3 - This is where my problems lie. BM3 is our mutual friend and actually me and H2b came to know each other because of her. She is being awkward about everything!!!!! She is a larger lady a size 24 and conscious of how she looks. Being a plus size myself i totally understand how she feels about wanting to look nice and not ridiculous. BM3 Lives in Scunthorpe.

The BM's are paying for their dresses themselves so i can appreciate they want to keep costs low so i have been lenient in terms of design as long as all their colours match. Because of the variation in dress size a high street shop is out of the question really. I have seen a gorgeous dress that i think will suit all 3 of them lovely and its £130 and i know they go right up to a size 32. I have arranged for all my BM's to go see the dress over the next couple of weeks and to get BM3 enthusiastic i decided to show her the design i saw. In the shop they actually have it in the colour we are having (yellow). I thought she would be really positive but got nothing but negative vibes from her and she's really put me on a downer. She likes the dress but is being picky about this that and the other. I even flashed her my dress and again she has just been negative. We went for a look round some shops together and i tried dresses on with her and now because i haven't ordered the one i tried on with her has got the hump.

She's now being elusive as to whether she will actually be coming on the day we arranged. I offered to pick her up and take her back on my route.

I obviously want them all to look lovely, but how do i take into account all 3 body shapes, personal preferences, location differences etc. It's just starting to get me down to the point where i just want to shout at BM3 and ask her if she actually still wants to be a BM!

Help what do i do for my sanity!?!?!

195 replies

  • Arquard
    Beginner May 2011
    Arquard ·
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    ? Wash your mouth out with soap! I had nothing to do with it, guv!

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  • A
    Beginner April 2013
    aimzxx ·
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    I am a little confused about the WHOLE site??? What is its purpose? Why so much detail?!? I can't remember in so much detail when I met my OH..Am I a bad Fiancee?? Or was I just a lil drunk lol!!!

    x

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  • FaeBelle13
    Beginner April 2013
    FaeBelle13 ·
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    Is this the famous AJ that caused so much trouble??

    Oh lordy

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  • A
    Beginner April 2013
    aimzxx ·
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    Cinnamon slightly offended....My opinions arent the same at all, I said nothing about not having pregnant bm I was agreeing to the original post...I had two BM (my sisters) who didnt like my colour theme or any dress I brought them with my own pennies...

    Sorry for sharing a name with someone :-S

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  • I
    Beginner October 2013
    Irisbride ·
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    Ha ha! He really doesn't look how I imagined him to look! x

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  • cinnamonfairy
    Rockstar June 2020
    cinnamonfairy ·
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    There was me thinking that the OP's name was Katie.

    And that's just my opinion I guess. Whole point of a discussion forum.

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  • *Mini*
    Beginner January 2012
    *Mini* ·
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    Thats just your cabbage

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  • cinnamonfairy
    Rockstar June 2020
    cinnamonfairy ·
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    Oh yes! Thanks for the reminder Mini ?

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  • A
    Beginner April 2013
    aimzxx ·
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    Where does it state in there that I think having pregnant BM isn't right? I'm agreeing with sometimes having to sack bridesmaids...

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  • ForTheLoveOfMrsBrown
    Beginner January 2012
    ForTheLoveOfMrsBrown ·
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    I don't think it's fair to start posting about someone's wedding when they have absolutely NOTHING to do with the thread in hand. It's fair game if someone in the present time invites comment with their ludicrous suggestions or ridiculous bridezilla demands but AJ is not here and hasn't been for some time. Furthermore, his wife was a poster here and she never seemed anything other than sweet and gentle-mannered - she certainty doesn't deserve to have her wedding website dragged up for the amusement of the Hitched community.

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  • Mrs C
    Beginner March 2011
    Mrs C ·
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    Oh my days... haven't had a thread like this in a while!!

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  • A
    Beginner April 2013
    aimzxx ·
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    Regardless Cinnafariy, I've come on here to get hints an tips on my wedding and to see what other brides are upto so i'll leave this post and get back to the other chit chat.

    I'm really sorry if you feel like what I've said deserves you to turn on me.

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  • Ali_G
    Beginner October 2012
    Ali_G ·
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    Knees, you absolute beaut! I can't believe I forgot about his website!!!! ?

    Now.. who's got the link to Canterburys site?

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  • *Mini*
    Beginner January 2012
    *Mini* ·
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    Aww reading their wedding report its quite sweet, did he ever do one on here I cant remember?

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  • SaSaSi
    Beginner July 2012
    SaSaSi ·
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    WSS!

    Mini thats hilarious, I would never have thought to google her username!

    This thread is best Ive read in a while!

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  • cinnamonfairy
    Rockstar June 2020
    cinnamonfairy ·
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    Aimzxx - you might have needed to state exactly what you were agreeing with then. Your 'i totally get where you're coming from' doesn't actually state what you agree with, just the fact that you agree with her. Which can then be worked out as you agree with the whole pregnant BM stuff! We're not all mind readers.

    And nobody is turning on you. I am just simply voicing what I believe was a valid opinion cabbage. Easy mistake to make, and I'm sure there must have been a few others scratching their chins at the possibility you and amylou2007 may be one and the same person.

    Issue sorted, you're not the same person. Moving on...

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  • A
    Beginner April 2013
    aimzxx ·
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    Well defo not the same person....I'm hoping to be a pregnant bride so I think that confirms that! x

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  • Kjay
    Beginner August 2013
    Kjay ·
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    Not what I had pictured at all!

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  • Soybean
    Beginner March 2011
    Soybean ·
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    #

    Completely agree, nothing wrong with a healthy debate but what exactly was the point of posting AJ's site? ridicule? that is bitchy and completely unnecessary.

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  • Purple*Sparkles
    Beginner June 2013
    Purple*Sparkles ·
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    *Massive tea spit* My son thinks im mad laughing hesterically at the computer!!

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  • Pinky6
    Beginner June 2012
    Pinky6 ·
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    To be fair though, no one has said anything derogatory at all about his blog. In fact Mini commented on what a lovely read it was, which it is.

    Agreed it should probably not have been mentioned but I don't think Knees meant any harm by it.

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  • Kjay
    Beginner August 2013
    Kjay ·
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    This.

    I have looked at the website out of sheer curiosity as he is someone who has been mentioned a fair few times- in a way that I look forward to seeing peoples wedding reports who I have come to 'know' on hitched.

    I do agree it has nothing to do with this thread, other than that his name has been mentioned.

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  • ForTheLoveOfMrsBrown
    Beginner January 2012
    ForTheLoveOfMrsBrown ·
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    I'm not saying that linking to AJ's blog was malicious in any way, just inappropriate.

    The problems that people found with AJ were entirely down to his, um, personality quirks and his, um, interesting views and nothing whatsoever to do with his wedding or his wife. Had the pleasure of AJ been introduced with a link to one of his more extreme posts, that's fair game (in my cabbage). However, to link to a personal website that in no way illustrates the phenomenon that was AJ is unnecessary and has the potential to become hurtful (even if he's blissfully unaware). And that potential for hurt is derived from those not in the know re:AJ thinking that those in the know are sanctioning comments on his wedding, that maybe that's what formed our sport with him and it's OK to continue in his absence.

    There are lots of things about AJ that could deservedly draw cries of 'Oh Lordy'. His wedding should not be one of them.

    Now, I'm going to stop before I drag it completely out of proportion Smiley smile

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  • Blonde Viki
    Beginner July 2012
    Blonde Viki ·
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    I see where you are coming from but I didn't read it as intended in that way at all. AJ had already been mentioned in the thread and I thought the link was more of a 'for those of you who never knew him - here he is' type thing. I didn't interpret it as mocking his wedding in any way but I might have skipped a post or two. In fact I think linking to his site is a nicer reminder of him than some of his more, er, colourful posts.

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  • Knees
    VIP August 2012
    Knees ·
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    Thanks BV - my sole intention was to show people who he was. People who knew him had been talking about him, people who didn't know him were asking who he was. The only reason I posted it was because I remembered that he had done it (rather than done a report) so I linked it to show people who he was.

    Anyone who knows me will know that I don't have a malicious or bitchy bone in my body so I'm sorry if I offended anyone. I'd take the post down but it's been quoted several times now.

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  • Tizzie
    Beginner June 2012
    Tizzie ·
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    I think it was better to post that rather than say here's the worst thing he ever said. He seems so different to what I had pictured. He seems really sweet on his website!

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  • FaeBelle13
    Beginner April 2013
    FaeBelle13 ·
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    I actually wrote that before I had looked at the site because the prospect of reading a whole website written by a man that seems to have caused such a stir was quite intriguing.

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  • kharv
    Beginner March 2012
    kharv ·
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    I do get where you're coming from Footlong but it is true that Knees doesn't have a nasty bone in her - she was definitely just letting people know who he was.

    I always find the AJ thing so confusing really. He clearly loves his wife and they really enjoyed planning their wedding together. It's just a shame he seemed to enjoy spouting off about rather offensive opinions, often for the sake of it it appeared.

    On a personal note, he was very helpful to me when I was a newbie and gave me lots of advice over email when I was considering having a blessing.

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  • ForTheLoveOfMrsBrown
    Beginner January 2012
    ForTheLoveOfMrsBrown ·
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    I'll refer you all to my previous comment:

    I know Knees is a nice girl. ?

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  • kharv
    Beginner March 2012
    kharv ·
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    I do think you were right to mention it though - as even though Knees meant no harm, there's a possibility, because of the way AJ is mentioned sometimes, that newer members may have picked things apart a bit. If that makes sense?

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  • ForTheLoveOfMrsBrown
    Beginner January 2012
    ForTheLoveOfMrsBrown ·
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    Kharv, I think I love you. That was EXACTLY my worry. I was worried that new people would think us old ones were giving them "permission" to let rip on AJ/his wedding/wife.

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  • Ali_G
    Beginner October 2012
    Ali_G ·
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    It was probably my comment about the website that Footlong was picking up on. I didn't mean for it to sound like I was ridiculing.

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