rsvp's

We have online RSVPS and for the day there is a choice of food so they need to RSVP separately.

I think that it also depends how you address them? so to the X Family or named.

We gave a six lines so each party member's name could go on it, and tickboxes for the two options of children's food where appropriate, plus a space for any dietary requirements they may have.

Theoretically you should know the age of the children coming anyway but there's no harm in asking.

Don't assume anything about RSVP's - particularly that you'll actually get them back by the date they are meant to be...

On the invite itself I just put RSVP and the email address (stupidly didn't put a date to RSVP by!)

Then in the info that went with it (addresses, gifts etc) I put that kids are very welcome but please let me know if your child is coming with you when you rsvp.

Hope that helps!

Thanks everyone. it really helps think im finally getting an idea

cheers x?

Sorry guys.

just wondering how long you gave yourself for people to rsvp before the wedding

what date do you think i should put down if my wedding is 16th june 2012? how many months would i allow for my rsvp deadline x

Partly depends on your venue - some want final numbers a week or so before the date, some want it several months.

Give time to chase people, because you will need to - and depending on the size of your guest list and how organsied people are this may take anything from a couple of days to a couple of months - I kid you not, and be prepared to repeatedly ask the same people.

Also if people are travelling some distance and need to book accommodation/trains/flights/whatever then they obviously need more notice to get the best deals they can.

If you aren't having a saturday wedding and people need to book time off work during the week, the more notice you can give them also helps.

We sent our invites October 2010 rsvp 1st March 2011 for a September 2011 wedding - some say far too early but it worked for us. Others will disagree and say convention is just a couple of months.

You also need to factor in how long it will take to get the invitations made, as appropriate.

Personally I'd have sent the "save the dates" out now, proper invites with christmas cards to save postage, and probably an RSVP of 1st March - that then gives you 3 months to chase people, invite reserves/upgrade evening only guests as appropriate - not withstanding of course any of the other advice given above.

In 'the good old days' when the brides parents handled the invitations, that meant the final month or two when the bride is busy with hair/makeup trials, dress fittings and getting all the other odds and ends sorted, the parents dealt with the admin. Now it's common for most couples to invite from themselves and handle rsvp's I personally think it's one hassle you can both do without nearer the time so the earlier the better.

Speaking personally, I wouldn't necessarily be able to arrange to get to a wedding with just a couple of months notice particularly if it's some distance away and I needed to sort out transport - and many of your guests may be in a similar position particularly if they work weekends.

I sent my save the date cards out in December so that people knew when we were getting wed. I'm just compiling my lists for the relevant day and evening invites. I'll be sending these out in June with RSVP date of August. My venue needs to know numbers a month before so this will give my mum time to chase non responders.

You could do as you suggested and ask for the number of people coming (but you would need to know which people for table plans etc) or you can leave a line at the top for them to write their names. The second option is also a bit risky bacause some may not write anything there and then you are left wondering who the invite is from. I think another hitcher suggested a little coding system they put together incase that happened where they could match the RSVP's to the people- like a number in the corner that matched a spreadsheet. I guess you don't have to include a RSVP if you don't want to- or look at what shop bought one's say and match them.

In terms of AJ's comments, I think it is unusual for invites to be sent 11 months in advance so don't panic (unless it is something you want to do). I think the norm is 3 - 4 months (depending on the venues request for final numbers) in advance so you have plenty of time. If you have a good system in place, I'm sure it is not that difficult to keep on top of the admin. And as a guest, I've always been given 3 months or less notice for a wedding and have managed to organise myself to be able to go.

Invites and wording are difficult but also a very personal thing. Good luck x

I know we sent ours "too early" to some according to tradition but it saved us the added expense of save the dates, plus as people replied saying they were unable to come it meant we could send extra invites out to our "B list" as we felt necessary.

All our responses are kept in an Access database with a unique reference number - used the names and addresses stored in it to print off address labels for the envelopes - and simply put that sticker on the back of the rsvp slip so we knew exactly whose response it was.

The address was also mailmerged into our invite pack cover printing to fit in the window of a C5 envelope so that was another thing less to worry about.

Perhaps too "official and business like" for some, but that's the way we are and it seemed to work ok with our guests.

Really there is no "right and wrong way" to do rsvp's although certain etiquette and wedding books would try and dictate otherwise; it has to be what suits you, your guests and your plans.

Hello,

We sent ours last week- 4 months before the wedding. The RSVP date is 2 months before the wedding... we want to give the caterer final numbers 1 month before the wedding but we are aware that some people won't RSVP on time so we have allowed 1 month to chase...

So ours went out 4 months before they got 2 months to RSVP and the RSVP date is 2 months before the wedding.

It depends on your caterer, most want final numbers 1 month before the wedding.

I would be more concerned sending them out too late rather than too early... I have never received an invite and thought, "Wow this wedding invite is early"...

wkvs

I'm an early bird and like to get things in early especially with people planning/booking holidays etc.

We sent out ours the middle of March (wedding is October) and put the RSVP date as 1st May and you know, it has actually worked for us as everyone has replied yes that is invited all day.

For our evening guests there are only about 4 couples that we are waiting on but tbh I don't mind so much as you don't cater 100% for every guest coming anyway.

I'm 18th June 2011 so my timings for this year would probably work for you...

We sent the invitations beginning of Feb with a reply-by date of 1st March, and had almost all of them in on time. My day is a little unusual which I won't bore you with now, but there was a reason for doing it earlier, and on reflection I think sending them out 1st March and asking for them to be in by mid-April would have been better.

We had a line on our RSVP cards for people to fill in and we did get a couple where people hadn't filled it in so we had to work out who it was from. On the evening invitations we just wrote the names of the people invited on the line ourselves, and if (say) Persons A and B were coming but C wasn't then they could just cross off C's name. This has worked well so far.

Sorry to drag this up again but it's quite a recent thread...

I was discussing our stationery yesterday with my SIL2B who's designing it all, and she seemed very determined to do an RSVP card. Originally we were going to be having our reception at a football club, so the RSVP was going to be in the style of a football ticket. We've now changed the venue and although there are still some football things in the day, the reason for the ticket has gone.

I'm doing a gettingmarried.co.uk wedding website which has an online RSVP facility and so I'm now wondering if we even need to include an RSVP card. When I suggested to her that most people will either do it online or buy their own card to reply, she said people had bought their own cards to reply for her wedding, but also included the RSVP card she sent. Now to me, this proves me right, I don't need to include it.

What do you think? The last 4 weddings I've been to have included RSVP dates and details on the invitation itself; no additional card included and I haven't thought it was weird.

Honestly? I wouldn't use an online system because I like getting post and wanted to keep people's responses. Also older people/technophobes might not use it. Also I personally feel that a formal invitation should be followed by a formal reply.

We had RSVP cards... about 90% of people just sent the card back (sometimes in an envelope) and the other 10% put the card inside another "acceptance" or "regrets" card. (Some people, of course, did not bother to send anything in the post at all!!)