Share your cooking disasters!

Wheres mini, shel have some blinders to share!?

Oh HT that has made my day!

Kjay has a good one too!

The very first time H came to visit my parents when we had just met, my mum served him chicken kiev that was still frozen in the middle. He was too polite to say anything and tried eating round the frozen bits. It's a wonder he ever came back.

My husband was frying potatoes. He ran out of frying pan space so decided to put the extras in a saucepan....? After he'd finished he left the saucepan (and oil) on the hob which we only realised when we could see flames through the window section of the kitchen door.

I have never really had any disasters cooking from scratch but I have been know to over cook dinners because Ive went & cleaned the bathroom while dinner was on & taken too long, stupid things like that.

How long have you got?

I attempted to cook rice last night, it did not go well. When I've charged my phone I'll post a pic.

(I still dished it in H's little lunchbox to take to work today hidden under a pile of curry. He;s not text to complain yet ?)

Hahahahahahahaha oh hatty you crack me up! How can you burn boiled potatoes?!

Many years ago I was following a recipe which told me to add 'hot' oil. So... I added some oil to a saucepan and put it on the hob. I then got distracted by Hollyoaks in the living room and forgot all about the oil until 10 minutes later when the smoke alarm went off. The pan was on fire, my very clever husband came running in and blew on the flame which just made it a million times worse. I did the wet tea towell trick but as it was an electric hob I needed to move the pan, had no where to put it so had to put it on the floor which left a lovely black stain on the tiles.

I should not be allowed near a cooker.

I tried to make roast potatoes once but boiled them for too long first and ended up with something more like roast mash. Haven't tried it again since. I'm hopeless.

I do it at least once a week. I leave them cooking whilst I watch tv and before I know it the water's gone and they're burnt.

So, who fancies popping round for tea?

In fairness rice is really hard to get right!!!

That's what the oven timer is for!

and your volunteering to do some baking?!?!? this should be good ?

Do you think you should send her all the ingredients again Flowmo?! Although even that didn't help last time did it..

One weekend when visiting H, I think we had only been dating about 2 months, his parents were away and I offered to cook him Sunday lunch. I went to Tesco and bought microwave everything, mash, roasties, veg, I boughr one of those ready made joints in a foil packet that you just bung in the oven I even bought microwave gravy!! The whole dinner boshed off in the Microwave!! I remember the look of horor on his face when he realised. The dinner wasn't very nice as you can imagine but 10 years on I'm a dab hand in the kitchen and I've not had any disasters..... at least I don't think I have.

My mum's from the Philippines and she taught me how to cook rice to perfection - make sure you rinse the rice beforehand and use the absorbing method rather than boiling and draining. The amount of water you put in should be one half measure more than the rice. So 1 mug rice = 1.5 mugs water. 2 mugs rice = 2.5 mugs water etc. Pour over boiling water and then as soon as it boils on the hob, cover and simmer on a low heat. Check and stir once after 10 minutes. Should turn out perfect ?

That's for basmati and jasmine rice, though ... I am still a bit wobbly on brown rice!

Woah there JoJo I said nothing about a cake. Cakes need to rise ?

Flow did indeed send me a fool proof set with all the ingredients bagged up and measured out. All was going well until I realised that they were in the oven and I hadn't added any marg! Never one to panic I simply took out the semi-baked mush, emptied into a bowl, added the marg and put it back into the cupcake cases.

I'll try and find a pic!

Flow's 'idiot proof' (I beg to differ) cakes:

However, I do feel that I redeemed myself by creating this beauty for a fellow hitcher:

Waaaaaaaaah we cant see the pics hatters!

Whilst I was at uni about a year after OH and I met I decided to cook him a special dinner as my flat mate had gone away for the weekend. I decided I really liked steak pie and wanted to make it from scratch so got on the phone to my gran for some instructions which I quickly jotted down then set off to the butchers to get some beef.

Got home and put the beef in a pot to stew and jumped in the shower, came out the shower and checked the beef added some water as it looked a bit dry then went upstairs to dry my hair and then forgot about the beef until 30 minutes later I could smell burning and then the smoke alarm going off. Ran downstairs and the pan was brown, all the shops were shut and in my desperation I decided that the best thing for me to do was wash the beef in the sink to get rid of the burnt bits and burnt taste. I kid you not I washed it then shoved it into the a dish, covered with the pasty and shoved it in the oven and set about opening windows and lighting smelly candles to get rid of the burning smell that was in the house.

I served OH the dinner which he ate and didn’t mention the fact that meet was charred and burnt and tasted like charcoal. I did tell him years later what had actually happened. Lucky my cooking has sort of improved since then but I haven’t attempted steak pie since, I just buy it already made from the butchers.

What did they taste like Hatters? I'd have still eaten them.

Top marks on the cake though!

Can you flash again please Hatters!?!!

I can???

Well the dog liked them Pinky ?

Me too.

That's cuz we iz PT innit.

My cake was delicious ❤️

Don’t worry love, we’ll do gingerbread men and cupcakes, like how I made them for your birthday (plain and boring!!).

Erm. Hatters, I don't want to be mean but your cake looks like it's scrambled egg?

?

The buttercream was very yellow!!

user error my love, user error!

Since when has scrambled egg had pink sparkles in? ?

You'll have to take OB's word for it that it tated nice, I wouldn't try any!