Take his name or not

I took my husband's name. By choice.

Your surname's only yours because your Mum took your Dad's surname (I'm guessing). Is it that big a deal?

This is a wind up presumably.

WSS

Even if he "expects" you to change your name, he can't make you so if you want to either keep your maiden name or go double barrelled then just do that instead. And if he doesn't want to go double barrelled then fine, it's up to him, just as he can't make you change yours, you can't make him change his either ?

I took my husband's name at home and kept my name at work (then gave up work so that's kind of lapsed). It's quite a faff though as you have to keep track of which name you use for what.

Do what you want. I'm not keen on double-barrelling personally as it can sound a bit affected, but horses for courses.

I'm also guessing this is a wind-up. However, I didn't take my ex's surname for a number of reasons.

1. Feminist principle - and the fact that it's my father's name is neither here nor there, it's my name and I saw no reason to change it

2. Aesthetics - Sophie Myname sounds nice, Sophie Hisname sounds silly and I didn't much like his surname anyway

He had no problem with it (despite being a total arse in almost every oither respect). If this was something you as a couple aren't able to agree on at all, I'd say it sounds some alarm bells vis a vis your views on women's role in society generally.

Maybe a question more suited to the wedding forum than this one, as most either old marrieds or divorcing over here..

ftr I took his name, why not? Lovely, at least his surname doesn't rhyme with a roast dinner.

sounds like one

L
xx

whs.

FWIW, when I get married, I will be taking my OHs name. Not taking his name has never entered my head.

In case this is real... I kept mine. Why? Because I wanted to and because I saw no reason to change it. I don't use Mrs either.

I think it's a wind up as well. Are we supposed to get all cross? Anyway, I took his largely through boredom with "my" name. True Fact.

Just for the hell of it I'm going to add that if we have children they'll be double-barrelled (myname-hisname) and I don't care if they don't like it ?

Well, if it's real, I took my H's name and I'm a Mrs. I do wish I'd hadn't at times as I have to spell it every bloody time! Everyone knew how to spell my maiden name. ? I do like being a Mrs though but I am a bit old fashioned.

Exactly what Dr Tiger said.

I took his - but kind of wish i had kept mine - it didnt really occur to me to not change - it seemed like a very overt stance then which i didnt want to make - but now it is quite a normal thing to do - and i like my real name better - it suits me

3/10. Must try harder.

I'm going to give the OP the benefit of the doubt and answer seriously.

I have kept my name. In fact, I never for even a few seconds considered changing it. I am 'me' and I have a unique name, and I'm rather attached to it.

My mum never changed hers so I guess I grew up with it being the norm not to.

Future kids will have my surname as a middle name and his as a last name. They can choose to double barrel or not. (My first name is double-barelled so there was never an option for me and Mr R-A to add our surnames ?)

I am 'Dr' anyway, but if I wasn't, I would probably be Ms, not Mrs.

Very much WSS!

I'm not married, but I wouldn't take his name. No way. Not a chance. I'd not be Mrs either. I'd practically have the same name as his mum ? If we had kids, they could take his name as the family line dies with him otherwise.

I kind of did both as I double-barrelled so I kept my name and took his too! I was Mrs but only for a short time until I got my PhD - I now use Dr most of the time and only Mrs occasionally.

I liked my name and wanted to keep that link to my family, but wanted to show a connection with him too, so double-barrelling seemed like the most sensible option. Fortunately, the two names didn't sound too weird together either!

When we have children they will have his surname.

I took my husband's surname when we got married and so also use "Mrs" as a title. I didn't mind changing my name at all, to me it felt a bit like we'd both moved a little from our birth families and were starting out on a new family of our own (though we have no plans to have children).

I am a little suprised that some people seem to think that this thread is a wind up.

It is not!

I need to make a decision on this and I'm not sure which side of the fence I sit on.

I thank those of you who took the time to tell me of your thoughts on the subject.

I am a little suprised that some people seem to think that this thread is a wind up.

It is not!

I need to make a decision on this and I'm not sure which side of the fence I sit on.

I thank those of you who took the time to tell me of your thoughts on the subject.

I had a double barelled maiden name and couldnt wait to get rid of the second half of it when I married, so I took Mr WTs surname and replaced the second part of my maiden name with it, so Im still double barrelled. I was more than happy to take his name (which oddly enough was my paternal grandmothers maiden name!) and Im happy to be a Mrs.

He took my my name - very simply. I occassionally use Mrs if it is something we do together - only Ms at work. He likes his new name

He took my my name - very simple. I occassionally use Mrs if it is something we do together - only Ms at work. He likes his new name

I havent really changed my name - I have changed my name on bank accounts but for practical reasons such as work and ordering pizza, I use my maiden name as H's is a b*tch to spell! That may seem hypocritical to some but it works for me. I like my surname.

I don't like the Mrs either - to those who are married and didn't change their name, what title do you use? Ms? at work they've listed me as a Ms, but it seems you can't escape not useing a title! which I find rather annoying.

I agreed to change my name because it was really important to him that I did, but I did think long and hard about it. My only consolation is that I can be Dr not Mrs and therefore don't have the same name as his mum.

Kick him to the curb, girlfrien'. Drop that zero and get yourself a hero. He don't respect you.

Before I became Dr I used to use either Miss or Ms and I would have continued to do the same if I hadnn't got the doctorate.

I don't like using Mrs, even though I've got his surname IYSWIM. I have one bit of ID with Mrs Hisname on it and it made me feel geriatric. I never had any kind of warm fluffy feelings about being a Mrs, all my associations with it are negative (from ooooo-er, Missus to seeing it spelled as Mr's and thinking "hmmmmm....")

I don't kick up a great fuss if someone calls me it, but I always sign myself as Ms and tick the "ms" box on forms.

I really do think it was curiosity/boredom that led me to change my name to his. I'd been Ms Myname for 32 years and the last few hadn't been great in terms of my health so I wanted a clean break. And I like his name more than mine.

Hahaha

that's very funny...

It's not like that.. I was just quite shocked as I hadn't even given it any thought so was a little surprised by is Victorian views.

the language used in the OP for starters. your so called "shock" at the very notion of you taking his name. youre getting married, surely this ocurred to you before? if you dont want to, dont, but dont make into some Roiphe-esque whinge about wimmins rights.

do you have a CND t-shirt and a bushy fanny?