Wedding gifts

This is one of the worse examples I've heard!

No offence...

If you want money just ask for it, people pretty much expect it now.

See I was of that opinion but started speaking to other people and colleagues and they were genuinely shocked and thought it was really impersonal

i suppose you're never going to please everyone. Dictating gifts I guess could be seen offensive to some people too

im probably over thinking it

Don't worry too much! Just say that the most important thing to you is their presence, but if they feel they would like to give you a present then a modest donation would be very gratefully received.

Im sure you can probs think of a much more succinct way of putting it, just don't make it rhyme hee hee hee!

I had the same issue at work she was like where are you going to have a guest list, I told her we aren't having one we have most things already, she then proceeds to "suggest" that I do a list at John Lewis or something or ask for vouchers...eh who asked you? Good job she isn't invited or I may have greatly offended her but back to the OP I am not sure how or what or if we will ask but I am now thinking after seeing a few opinions on here that poems are seen as a little corny to some people...decisions decisions

I honestly, honestly can't abide poems asking for money. Awful, cringey things. Just don't mention gifts in your invitations & if people ask, tell them vouchers or money would be appreciated.

No, no, no. Never ask for money. Just don't mention anything to do with gifts.

Agree with this.

I don't understand why people need to ask for something specific. In my experience guests generally ask the bride and groom what they'd like anyway, I wouldn't mention anything before they do.

Yeah, on second thoughts this.

We asked for money as gifts at our wedding as there was nothing we really wanted apart from doing things around our home. Although a couple of Aunts on my husbands side bought us gifts even though we had asked for money. I don't think it's wrong to ask for it as all my friends who have got married lately have done the same or asked for holiday vouchers. I'd rather give someone money as a gift the I know that they're going out and getting what they really want. If you search the net there's loads of nice ways to ask.

I don't like money poems. They make me cringe.

I don't get offended if I see a simply worded request for money though.

I'm in two minds about this. We would appreciate money over toasters as we have all of that but I find it delicate to say. Its like here your invitation and here's what you need to bring! However from others I have spoken to, they're like just ask, put a poem in. I just feel that if someone wants to give us a present, regardless of what we say, we'll still get 2 lovely champagne flutes from someone. That's why I am still leaning towards put nothing and if they ask, then say. A lot of our guests already know we're not planning a honeymoon til later, that we have a home and everything to go in it. We're sending our invites out this weekend and its crunch time, do we say or not.

Just this.

We didn't ask for a jot (the idea of 'asking' or even 'recommending' horrifies me). We got money. And the odd dodgy bowl. But no toasters. That's just a massively inaccurate justification for people to ask for gifts/money.

And if someone DOES buy you a toaster, smile sweetly and thank them graciously. You know, manners and all.

We're putting a short line on our wedding website along the lines of 'we don't expect gifts, but if you would like to give us something to mark the occasion we would appreciate contributions towards our honeymoon or cottage renovations'. I'll be revising the words for a couple of weeks until we send invitations out.

I'm worried now... Put this on mine, does it come across ok?!

"The most important thing for us is your presence on the day to celebrate our wedding, and gifts are by no means expected. If, however, you do feel you would like to give something, then money to enjoy whilst on our dream honeymoon would be very much appreciated"

Exactly this. If someone buys a present or even gives you anything, I will appreciate their kind thought and their generosity. If someone turned up with just a card, I would appreciate this all the same. I haven't invited them to get a gift/money, i have invited them because i want them to share our day. Think I may have answered my own question here. Don't mention unless prompted, either way its their presence not present we're after

I'm not asking for anything, no gifts or money is necessary. We have a house and everything we need. Yes, we are a bit strapped for cash with the wedding and holiday to pay for later in the year but it was our choice to do those things and wouldn't expect any sort of contribution. A couple of people have already asked if we have a gift list so I told them no, we don't want anything but you to be there to which they replied 'well you know you're going to get money in your card if you don't say what you want'. Soooo, the moral of the story is, if you don't do a gift list with specific items, you will get money so you probably don't need to ask for anything! Xxx

Some interesting and valid points thank you

I debated about this myself as I didnt want to offend anyone but then just thought "sod it" and basically said we didnt have a traditional gift list as we had been living together for a while so donations towards the honeymoon would be appreciated or they could surprise us with a gift. It may offend somebody but my 70 something year old aunty wasnt in the least bit offended and even asked if we wanted money so I think we have done the right thing.

Hi,

The last few weddings I've been to have included requests for money in the invitations in one way or another. One was a poem but it was quite funny and didn't bother me at all. The only thing that i found a bit off was one person's wedding invitation included some sort of website details where you give donations before the wedding and it did actually make me think it was a bit cheeky....

We are still undecided on what to do actually but I think we might just not mention anything at all about gifts x

As a rule, you never ask for anything. If you have worded your invites from parents, they should be asked what you want, and they will direct people to a gift list or suggest money etc. we didnt word our invites from parents, but briefed them so if asked they knew what to say. We had a few ask us directly, as we said donations to BHF or vouchers for Department Stores.

We were given a mix of money, vouchers and really thoughtful gifts, ranging from traditional,to handmade, to random!

All were appreciated and thanked afterwards.

What about something like a John Lewis gift voucher list. It works the same as a gift list but rather than buying you specific things they can just buy you gift vouchers for John Lewis.

Mind you I don't know what you want the money for so that may not be of any use.

I think that asking for money is perfectly fine and I don't think anyone will be offended. I especially like your little poem!

I think it would be fair to say that there could be 100's of different possibilities to what people reaction would be to asking for a gift lift, money or nothing! I don't think you can please everyone as by this thread alone it is quite obvious that everyone feels differently on this matter. I think the important thing is to do something you and your OH agree with, and word it in the way that people who know you would expect. Don't forget, this is your wedding and you will be surrounded by your loved ones, who know you well. Therefore if you ask for money in a quirky poem, they know it would just be because you wouldn't want to say it outright. For anyone to be offended by what is said in an invitation I think would be a bit selfish, as it is only how it is interpreted!

Good luck

Ohh I love a good money poem thread!

I cant abide money poems, we diddnt make any reference to gifts or money on our invitations. We got money from all of our guests and the odd bottle of champagne. Not a single toaster was received. probably because thats an outdated cliche.

I could do with a new toaster.. Darn. Lol x