Wedding menu, a bit cross with my mum *rant/vent*

6 - stop caring. The kids will eat if they're hungry and if they don't it's not your problem.

I can understand why you're annoyed though.

We're having lamb as well, and I think most people should be happy. When we met with the chef at our venue, he said that we should go for whatever we want to have rather than trying to please everyone else, as we'll regret it. Plus, you can't please everyone. MIL mentioned that Mr RB's sisters might not eat lamb (althought I'm sure they actually do). It's tough as far as I'm concerned.

Anyone that turns their nose up shouldn't be so ruddy fussy! ?

7 - Its your wedding and as long as you and OH are happy and excited by your menu stuff what others thing. your paying = your choice. PS i love lamb so i would be more than happy with it if i was one of your guests x x

Not going to be much help, just wanted to say sorry! Sounds rubbish to be dealing will all that over a meal!!

Surely as your paying for it it is you and your OHs choice? Especially as you have dietary requirements on the card! And i dont understnad why your mum would say it was chicken?!

I could understand if you were having something really out there and very few people liked, or had tried or something. Also if i went to a wedding and i hadn't had a choice of meal and had no dietary requirements but wasn't keen on the main, I wouldnt complain, the bride and groom are paying for a (very expensive ) meal, i think it would be really cheeky.

S x

Try not to worry, your day will be amazing. If the kids don't eat lamb I'm sure you wont notice on the day. Plus there will be other things on their plate to eat.

I think something happens to you when you become a mother that makes you a little irrational.... or maybe that's just my mum. lol. My mum made a comment to my sister about their being a lot of people we weren't inviting. Not quite sure who as we've got 70 people coming to the day and a third of that is just her family. Ignore her and just don't even let it get to you.

As a fussy eater, I don't expect it to be something I like at these things, but I know that's my problem for being fussy. My friend had lamb at her wedding for 100 guests and I didn't hear anyone complain. I think most people will be pleasantly surprised it's not chicken as that is the safe option.

?

Your mum riles me and I've not even met her! She's clearly in her own little world with no grip on reality - the comments are bad enough but to have told people you were having chicken without even knowing that is just weird (maybe she was asked and felt embarrased not to know so made something up?!)

That is a bit weird of your mum to make assumptions on what you and your OH would be serving. I would also be fuming!

I don't understand why she has been telling people that your having chicken when she know damn well that you're not? It's tough if people don't like what you are giving them! They can just eat the trimmings ?

Don't worry BV. There will be plenty of veg and bread rolls they can eat instead.

In your mum's defence, she may have just assumed you were having chicken as it's pretty standard.

I feel your pain!

We have given a choice of two for each course and then have stated there is a veg option if needed. So far we have a vegetarian that is gluten free and a vegetarian that doesnt like mushrooms! Both of which are in the veg main. Ive decided to change it because its too complicated!

I can understand people with allergies and intolerances but to tell me you dont like mushrooms??!! If it was me I'd eat around the mushrooms, and just have a bit more buffet later, rather than cause a fuss - what is wrong with people?

Is it a bridezilla thing? SUrely its not, why cant people be polite and grateful?!

It's your day, you're paying for it so choose what YOU would both like to eat. You can never please everyone (as I keep having to tell myself!).

A dislike of mushrooms is not a dietry requirement!

That is so weird! Making up food choices? Well you can only have what you like, too many different opinions otherwise and if anyone asks what happened to the chicken you could maybe explain that your mum sort of made it up? That would pee me off too. We're also having lamb so I think it's a good choice

At my OH's cousins wedding, they served up goat curry for mains, despite the bride's parents complaining about their choice. It was one of the best curries I've ever eaten!

You're the ones paying for it, so go with what you want, not what people think you should have. At the end of the day, your guests are getting a free meal, so if they don't like it, tough!

Thank you for all your supportive comments. This way I won't shout at mum next time I see her!

If we're talking about guest requests that go beyond dietary requirements, I did have several of those... The single most cheeky one was from a friend of my dad's who wrote it in the third person as follows (not exact words but pretty close):

"B is a vegetarian and would appreciate a nice piece of salmon. He notes that drink preferences were not requested but would ask that Guiness Original is provided"

O rly?! I note that neither of those requests are vegetarian food!

I also had several people inform me of things they 'don't like'.

wtf? Seriously?!

Was it a joke?

Sadly not a joke. If you knew him, you'd know that this is exactly what he is like.

As he is dad's friend, I've left it to dad to break it to him that a) fish is not on the vegetarian menu because all the other vegetarians are 'proper' vegetarians (not meant to offend anyone here, said only to get B's back up) and that b) the venue does not have Guinness, but I am happy to look into corkage charges should he wish to bring his own and will advise him how much his precious drink will cost him

? Cheeky arse!

I can't believe it either, and you're right I do wonder what some people are thinking.

It's a shame really because by annoying me, B shot himself in the foot - we only have 6 vegetarians including him, so we emailled them about their options and let them have a say in what they'd prefer. I omitted to include him...

Unsurprisingly, the pasta option didn't make the cut as they said it's almost always what vegetarians get offered and whislt they would not have complained, they said it was nice that we didn't give them what we thought they would like and asked instead.

We did this too. They appreciated it.

I would have done the same as you and left that bloke off the email though!

Wow. This is just incredible, I wouldn't know whether to laugh or cry if I receieved this!

There really is no more attractive quality in a man than the knack of talking about his self in the third person, is there! Re mums: mums are a pain. They often see us (their children) as an extension of themselves, and as such I think rarely treat us with the manners they would other people. Mums are also particularly stress-inducing as we really care what they think, and quite often they are not aware of the 'power' they have in this sense, and don't temper their comments accordingly. My mum is exactly the same - I can't say anything to make you feel better, I wish I could make her phone you up and apologise! On another note, I love lamb. Chicken is boring. Fussy eaters get on my nerves (sorry, but they do), and if you don't like it, move it to the side of your plate and use the manners you were no doubt brought up with!

I am planning to do this too. Same with kids meals, ask the parents. Did you get a fairly unanimous response? My worry with doing this is opening up a can of worms and not being able to please everyone. If someone says I want meal a but everyone else chooses meal b then someone will be disapointed!

Nutella, you should let them know that majority rules so it's all fair and nobody is being slighted.

I have a friend who moaned at my BM's hen party dinner. It was a mexican theme but the bride had gone to the bother of asking for 2 plain chicken breasts for this girl. Then she refused to eat the rice, the salad and even the TORTILLA (it's bread, she's Irish, what's the issue??) and did her "poor me, I'm so fussy" routine. The poor hen was offering to get potatoes, chips etc and it was all refused, I think she just likes being a fusspot.

Now to decide if I'll invite her to our wedding ?

My mum did the same when I told her we were having Sausages for the main course. She sort of smiled and said how her friedns daughter last year they had a choice of Salmon, Duck and Steak (or something like that) and had I not thought about what if my guests diddnt like sausages?

I said if they didn't, the bar sold crisps. That shut her up. BV- Dont worry, people will eat what they are given.

As everyone else has said, you can't please everyone, and if you try you'll only upset yourself.

We went to a wedding last year where one of our friends is a veggie and hadn't specified on the RSVP (partly her OHs fault) The B&G had a BBQ for their wedding breakfast and she literally had a salad sandwich, all because she didn't specify. She moaned at first, until she worked out that her OH didn't specify that she was veggie before sending back the RsVP, and then she became more reasonable about it all.

And on the flip side... We went to a wedding a few years back and although my OH is very fussy (didn't like ANY of the three courses) he smiled politely, tried the bits that he could and discretely gave what was left to my dad without any of the other guests noticing. Yes, he was hungry for the rest of the day, but when the evening buffet came out he had his fair share of that and that was it, no problems! No-one got upset or stressy, and all was well.

it's all about how people handle the situation, but unfortunately some people are used to getting their own way IMO

Out of the 5, all but one chose the same thing! The other said he was happy with any of the 6 options though

Gosh, how presumptuous of your mother! I can fully understand why you are annoyed on all those levels. I love lamb and as others have said people will eat what they can/like etc

We are serving venison at our wedding breakfast!!! BUT we have given guests a choice of this or roast chicken - surprisingly I've had two who say they don't want bread sauce with the roast chicken and its 50:50 choosing venison so far.

Kids meals - we did a straw poll of the kids we know and for the vegetarians we involved them before making final choices too.

I have never been to a wedding where I have had a choice and was always grateful to have a free meal/glass of wine/bubbly

My mum is so aghast that we're having afternoon tea she actually tried to offer us her non-existent money to upgrade to a 'proper' meal instead of a 'buffet'. Bless her, she did mean well, it was a genuinely generous offer but with slightly not-so-generous-what-will-people-think motives, but could have done without wondering if everyone would have her reaction. Me and OH are happy with our decision, and as long as the bride and groom are happy then I think everyone else should mind their manners and shut up and put up if a meal option isn't to their taste! BV have you spoken to your mum about it?