What makes you sad...

Sometimes I feel sad that we don't have more money to spend on the wedding. Like you, I want to make it the most amazing, kick-ass party for all of our friends / family, etc. to show them all how much we love and appreciate them, but I do feel like I have no choice but to cut corners on some things which does get me down a bit occasionally.

I'll see amazing things and think 'wow, that'd be fantastic!', but then look at the price tag......☹️

Worrying that my OHs ex wife might prevent his children from being there on the day. That would make me want to change the whole thing for a different date. We're in the middle of a battle for contact at the moment.

I get a bit sad when I realise all mine and OH's moving around for work has meant we have lost touch with most of our friends, I had always imagined big girly hen nights and lots of excitement with friends but in reality we've moved away and everyone has moved on with their lives.

As my OH is an aussie, there is a lot of his oldest friends who just aren't able to make it, and his grandad who he's really close to is just too old to make the trip - obviously they have good reason to not be able to come, but I just wish they could so they could be there for him

I get sad that I didn't meet my OH 10 years ago then we could have been married and had a life together a long time before he got sick. Now I'm sitting in the transplant clinic praying things will go our way

I am so sorry to read this, it really puts things into perspective. Also praying things will go your way x

This. Only I get mad and think 'WHY does everything have to be so expensive in the first place?'.

How little most people care about us getting married. I don't expect them to be interested in the wedding as such, but it would be nice if our families were a bit more excited that we are making it all official- we already have 2 children together. That makes me a little sad.

It also makes me sad that for many attending the wedding is an inconvenience to whinge and moan about. We have gone without a lot to be able to afford everything so it's hurtful when that isn't good enough! We have ensured there is a variety of affordable accommodation around (cheapest at £38 for a premier inn), but all people can do is moan that we aren't putting on transport. I would be honoured to be invited to a wedding, and certainly wouldn't be whinging at the B&G about costs! Besides the option is there for them to drive home after no-one is forcing them to drink.

My grandparents (Dad's parents) have issued an ultimatum that they won't attend if my mum is there (my parents are amicably separated!). It seems bizarre to me that they had no part in the split, and my parents socialise regularly but they have refused to attend my daughters' birthdays, christenings and my wedding because it would be 'too upsetting to be in the same room as her'.This truly makes me sad.

Oh, and I also had a falling out with one of my oldest friends. Long story - I didn't want her to be my bridesmaid (she is one of my oldest friends, but I don't consider her one of my closest) as such she now barely talks to me as 'I'm not the person she thought I was'. She's now happily pregnant with her first child (another of the reasons I didn't choose her as I knew she and her husband wanted to have children ASAP and she was planning on holding off until after my wedding to 'fit into her dress') Sad times, but we were always going to drift apart as time went on - we just didn't have anything in common except a shared history anymore.

Yeah parts make me sad. I think that because I've been dreaming about getting married since I was about 5 (now31), and realising the actual wedding isn't going to be how I want it really. Too many people with kids and politics surrounding such issues. Seriously thinking about canceling what we have booked for August 2014, and going to the local register office in a few weeks and doing it with just our parents and siblings there to witness. Might be a whole lot easier. Not the wedding I dreamed of, but equally I don't think I will get that regardless.

Which in turn makes me feel like a brat. I want to marry my guy, and just have a life together. So really, the register office looks very appealing right now.

It makes me sad that one of best friends has made no effort since we got engaged, no card, no phone calls, nothing.

My Grandma died in January and my Grandad's just had a stroke, resulting in him falling and hitting his head, he is now a shadow of his former self, a very independent man now sat in hospital still thinking that my Grandma is alive. It's horrible to see and know the pair of them will not be at the wedding.

Some of my bridesmaids don't want to be bridesmaids and are being awkward about everything. They dont wanna walk down the aisle in a certain way, they dont wanna wear that dress, they dont want their hair like this, they cant make this appointment, they dont want to go there, they dont want to get up so early, they dont want to get to my mums so early... the list goes on. And at the end of it... they've paid for nothing. We've supplied EVERYTHING for them. This makes me sad.

I wanted more bridesmaids (my nieces and nephews) and my mum told me i couldnt... so I didnt,. Now im full of regret wishing i asked them and i do cry over it, mainly because i have a couple of ungrateful bridesmaids who cant be bothered to do anything for me yet my nieces and nephews are excited and thankful for a reading they have!

Money makes me sad occassionally, i want everything but my OH has to put his foot down and say what we can and can't afford. We have spent a good amount on our wedding and I understand that you don't need everything but sometimes I do see things and think "i wish i could have..."

Certain people coming makes me sad (and mad), they dont speak to me and never accepted me as his girlfriend. They had a large fall out with my OH and have treated him like sh*t for the past 6 years yet we was told we had to invite them. Now we're paying for them to be there when they're not welcome!

xxx

Oh and not to mention the fact my mum is more bothered about my sister walking down the street than she is about our wedding. Shes shown no interest or anything. Ive planned everything myself because nobody else is interested. This has caused ALOT of tears in our household lately but OH cant understand why.

xxx

My oldest friends are unable to come because of the cost of travel. I love our venue and our wedding is going to be amazing, but if we had done it in Canada I'd have a lot more friends and family able to attend.

I think it's sad in the wedding planning process some family members show their true colours and can be rather selfish at times. Which happened at my brothers Wedding. But you know what it all provides a bloody good story a few years down the line!

It makes me sad that certain members of my close family are very selfishly trying to make our day about them, and have completely lost sight of what the day is truly about.

We have worked extremely hard, and spent more than we needed to to be inclusive but they are blinded by their warped feelings of how our day "should" be. So much so that they have decided they would rather not attend at all

That my family and friends aren't very excited. I appreciate they are in Ireland but had hoped for a bit more excitement. Or for even 1 to ask if I was having a hen party or visiting at some point before the wedding.

That my MIL and SIL who both know how lonely I have been didn't feel the need to invite me to go dress shopping with them - twice. Even though I had brought them dress-shopping with me (at SIL's insistence not mine) It hurt like hell.

That one friend wishes I was getting married in Ireland as she's not sure she wants to travel to Scotland. Same friend has not contacted me once since I moved 2 years ago, it's always been me trying to stay in touch... Not a bit surprised with that one though, I actually laughed at her text :-)

It makes me sad that my Grandma won't be there, she bought me up because my parents worked and would have loved every inch of the planning and the day itself, but on the plus side, I get to do lots of little things that I know would make her smile.

I'm sad for my mum because just after she and my dad separated she started suffering from a neurological condition which has developed over the last 6 years and is now looked after by carers and is in a wheelchair. So not only does she have the difficult situation of seeing her ex (my dad) and his new wife and all that side of the family on my wedding day, but she has the embarrassment (for want of a better word) of being severely disabled. I have already decided not to have a top table so she doesn't feel like she's being stared at but she is still going to feel self conscious as she has speech difficulties, the lot.

I'm sad that so many of my family members are no longer with us and will be so missed on the day- especially my dad who died when I was young. I also want to cry (but in a happier way) that my brother is instead waking me down the aisle!

It makes me sad that a number of close relatives have died in last few years and feels strange they won't be there. When I think like that I feel emotional and so try not to think like that as we have so many people who care about us who will be there ?

Firstly that my family are excited and diving into helping me plan the wedding. From my side we received close on 30 engagement cards, and several gifts. From OH's side - his parents and daughter didn't even say congratulations.

Secondly two of my friends have said no to being bridesmaids even though I was for them and helped them plan their wedding (and made stationery etc.)

That I'm 26 years old and both my parents are dead so they won't see me get married. I love and want to get married to my OH but I'll never strive for the "perfect" wedding as it never will be because neither of them will be there. I won't have someone give me away, I won't look at dresses with my Mum and the top table will look empty.

I feel sad that some of you are dealing with selfish people who have nothing better to do than complain about what should be such a happy day for you.

I'm lucky, because we are older and had been married before we didn't have any interference. In fact we had nothing but congratulations and good wishes and our wedding day was blessed by the happiness we were shown.

Unlike when I got married before! A day that was marred by really not being the day we wanted and despite giving in to the interference, a wedding that my MIL didn't think much of either despite her determination to get her way. Remembering that wedding makes me sad too.

So I strongly advise you to get a little tough with all the people who think they have a right to be difficult. If they can't get over themselves and think of anyone but themselves then don't have them there!

I'm so sorry. You'll both be in my thoughts.

A lot about it is quite bittersweet, to be honest. We're organising this thing via email and skype, and I got terribly sad visiting the venue on my own and having her call the next day to pay the deposit by credit card. We're going together for dinner in a couple of weeks when she gets over here, but it's not the same, really. Everything's been basically me presenting two or three options via email and having her pick her favourite. Add in the fact that we still don't know for sure if we should get married and won't until the end of the month because of backwards, discriminatory immigration laws and you've got two women who have no idea if they're coming or going.

But mostly, I've been sad about the fact that the wedding day is meant to be the start of this amazing new life together, and for us, it won't be. She's got to get on a plane without me, and it'll be six months to a year before I can join her in the States. The immigration process is slow and brutal, and it's very likely we'll be spending our first year of marriage doing exactly as we're doing now- visiting as much as we can and spending a lot of time moaning over skype about missing each other.

What makes me sad.

I still don't know for definite if we're getting married next year or not. I want to know what is going on in my life. I want to plan, I want to get excited. OH says he wants me to get excited, but how can I when I don't know what I'm doing? OH is very shy and doesn't like talking about stuff to his family but didn't like me saying about things on Facebook as he wants to tell people about stuff properly - so I wish he'd get on with it!

That my grandma won't be there and that I can't tell her about our plans. And sad for my OH that his nan wont be there as they were also very close. But they'll be remembered on the day and we were lucky to have them in our lives.

Reading some of these posts just make me appreciate how lucky we are to have what we've got.

Sad that this has made me realise the friends I've drifted away from. Some people we put down in our original guest list a year ago, I haven't seen or spoken to since then and probably won't again.

Also, that only one grandparent will be coming. I'm very grateful that my Grampy is alive and healthy and very lucky to have a close relationship with him. But I can't invite my Nanny (his ex-wife) because my mum's siblings have disowned her and as far as my Grampy's aware we don't know she exists we used to visit her secretly all the time but she moved away and I haven't seen her in years now. it makes me sad that she won't see me get married, or any of her grandchildren I know it would mean a lot to her to.

My other Nan is also in really poor health and she can't leave the house any more. She's been this way for years now so have kind of accepted it but we've recently found out that OH's grandad is heading this way too and it looks unlikely that he'll be able to come too. This also means that Oh's grandma will be caring for him and won't be there either. His other grandmother died when he was young, and his grandfather may be dead or living somewhere in nigeria... the family don't know...

Kinda going through this too. My fiancé is battling leukeamia for the 2nd time in two years. He was in remission for 9 months when he proposed, and relapsed 1 month later

Wedding planning is wonderful, but scary to think that it could all change again at any second (he's back in remission at moment....but....)

Hugs to you

Makes me sad that my parents and my OH's parents aren't all that excited about it.... or at the very least shown some (fake) excitement!

That's it's all for one day.

Also, that my ex-SIL told my niece and nephew they couldn't come because my brother won't pay for it when in actual fact its because she's denying him access. It means he can't come either because he can only afford to visit the UK for access visits.

My husband to be lost both of his parents several years ago and although he doesn't say it I know he wishes they could be part of our day. I've tried to add little touches such as an elvis song for our first dance as his mum used to listen to him and displaying their wedding picture on our guest book table. My mum and I are going to take flowers to the church where they are buried in the morning before we start getting ready. I hope all of these things will help in some little way for him and for them if they are watching somehow! I never got to meet them but I know they'd be proud of him!

But mainly it makes me sad that while I've been fretting about the small stuff so many of you are struggling with loss or illness or with selfish, thoughtless people. It really puts things in to perspective for me. I hate that anyone should be feeling sad while planning their special day and hope that you all have an lovely time on your wedding days and amazing and wonderful lives with your husbands and wives to be.