Skip to main content

Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

fancyfree
Beginner April 2010

Why our wedding is not the most important thing in our lives anymore

fancyfree, 20 January, 2010 at 15:58

Posted on Planning 121

As you may know, me and H2B have been having a tough time of it - with having to move 5 weeks before the wedding and H2B's recent car accident (in which the person causing the accident drove off). We looked towards the wedding as a fixed, happy point to work towards. Yesterday, my H2B had an...

As you may know, me and H2B have been having a tough time of it - with having to move 5 weeks before the wedding and H2B's recent car accident (in which the person causing the accident drove off). We looked towards the wedding as a fixed, happy point to work towards.

Yesterday, my H2B had an ultrasound scan and was diagnosed with testicular cancer. Today he saw the consultant, tomorrow he has a full body CT scan and bloods to see how far progressed it is and on Friday he will be undergoing surgery to remove his testicle. The tumor will then be biopsed and following that there may be reason for chemotherapy or radiotherapy. Early indications are that as bad as this news is, it is the best we could have hoped for. It doesn't appear to have spread to his liver, other testicle or lymphnodes and his chest X-ray showed that his lungs are clear.

We intend to proceed with the wedding as planned, but of course we don't know what shape his treatment will take. Now we have his operation date for Friday, I feel I can come here and tell you all. You've been helpful and practical so far, and I may need your advice in the coming weeks.

I know this news might leave you lost for words, it did me. I just love my H2B so much, and we're determined to get married and be stronger for it all. In sickness and in health, eh?

--

Hello Brides and Brides to Be!

I expect there's a whole new crew here now, but I just wanted to update you all to let you know that my husband (yay!) has just had his ONE YEAR ALL CLEAR.

We are extremely happy, and I wanted to say again how wonderful the hitched girlies were and I won't forget your kindness.

I'd also like to take the opportunity to say hello to all the new brides-to-be and ask them to get their fiancés to check their balls every month. Testicular cancer mainly happens to young men (16-40) and you just don't know that you're ill. My H2B's lump was painful which is why he noticed, but they USUALLY ARE NOT painful. Check, and make sure they check regularly so that they know what is normal and what is changing.

If you want to have a look at my wedding report, it's still here. Most emotional day of our lives, and long may our marriage continue!

Best of luck with your planning and forthcoming weddings.

121 replies

  • The BFG
    Beginner August 2010
    The BFG ·
    • Report
    • Hide content

    Oh honey all the 'issues' i am having at the mo seem so trivial compared to this, i just wanted to say that im thinking of you both and your families, and that it is encouraging that it doesnt seem to have spread, and that my race for life (although its deemed a predomenantly 'ladies' run) and 10k run this year will have an extra 'dedication'

    x x x ? x x x

    • Reply
  • jen52637
    Beginner
    jen52637 ·
    • Report
    • Hide content

    Oh fancyfree I am so sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your OH. ?

    If you ever need to talk, please do not hesitate to speak to us on here or PM me. Stay strong!

    • Reply
  • Lynseys Designs
    Beginner
    Lynseys Designs ·
    • Report
    • Hide content

    OMG really really sorry to hear such sad news and hope he makes a good recovery. Cancer can be beaten so stay positive.

    Take care of each other

    xx

    • Reply
  • teeheeyoucrazyguys!
    teeheeyoucrazyguys! ·
    • Report
    • Hide content

    Thinking of you both and wishing your honey a speedy recovery Smiley smile)))

    • Reply
  • Q
    Beginner June 2010
    Quartz ·
    • Report
    • Hide content

    My heart goes out to you and OH and your families fancyfree. What awful news so close to your wedding, but be strong, and our thoughts are with you. Please share anything you want on here, we're all with you.

    • Reply
  • Chitra
    Chitra ·
    • Report
    • Hide content

    God bless you both at this time, thinking of you,

    take care xxx

    • Reply
  • Mel B
    Beginner
    Mel B ·
    • Report
    • Hide content

    Jeez....I am not sure what to say except my thoughts are with you both, you seem to have a brilliant relationship and will be able to stay strong! ?

    • Reply
  • The Sock Chicken
    Beginner August 2010
    The Sock Chicken ·
    • Report
    • Hide content

    I really don't kow what to say that hasn't aready been said. My heart also sank when I read your post, you haven't had the best start to the year. Positive thoughts comng your way, they say bad things happen in threes, so fingers crossed this is the last. Stay strong and get through this together ?

    • Reply
  • MarieMarie1980
    Beginner August 2010
    MarieMarie1980 ·
    • Report
    • Hide content

    So sorry to hear your news..... Thinking of you and H2B..... (((HUG)))

    Mx

    • Reply
  • M
    Beginner
    michelle_123 ·
    • Report
    • Hide content

    My thoughts are with you both. Hope all goes well xx

    • Reply
  • *porsche*
    Beginner January 2001
    *porsche* ·
    • Report
    • Hide content

    Thoughts are wth you ff, keep smiling. xxx

    • Reply
  • moomin8804
    Beginner July 2009
    moomin8804 ·
    • Report
    • Hide content

    Gosh i don;t know what to say, have a very inadequate hug ? xxx

    • Reply
  • bethanw
    Beginner May 2010
    bethanw ·
    • Report
    • Hide content

    Didn't want to R&R. Have a hug and i'll be thinking of you ?

    • Reply
  • 22tango
    Beginner April 2010
    22tango ·
    • Report
    • Hide content

    FF I'm so so sorry to hear this - stay strong, you'll both be in my thoughts, xxxxx

    • Reply
  • Debbie Graham Jewellery
    Debbie Graham Jewellery ·
    • Report
    • Hide content

    Awww hun.. My thoughts are with you both.

    Debbie

    xxx

    • Reply
  • B
    Beginner April 2010
    Baz183 ·
    • Report
    • Hide content

    So sorry to hear your news. Thinking of you both and your family. xx

    • Reply
  • Jumbly Girl
    Beginner May 2010
    Jumbly Girl ·
    • Report
    • Hide content

    Oh FF, there's nothing I can say that hasn't already been said here - but here's a big ? to you both. We're here if you need to chat.

    • Reply
  • 3d jewellery
    3d jewellery ·
    • Report
    • Hide content

    So sorry to hear your news, but see that there are lots of positive stories on here that will hopefully help you feel more positive yourself. You will need somewhere to vent as it is a lot to go through.

    • Reply
  • lauralil
    Beginner September 2010
    lauralil ·
    • Report
    • Hide content

    Fancyfree, I'm lost for words...really don't know what to say but didn't want to read and run.

    Thinking of you and will be sending you lots of positive vibes

    xx

    • Reply
  • Steelgoddess
    Beginner June 2010
    Steelgoddess ·
    • Report
    • Hide content

    I must admit I read the second part of the post and my mouth gapped open. You poor love!!!

    Im hoping everythin at the end of the tunnel will be bright and beautiful again for you... You're right it will make you stronger

    Tc

    xxx

    • Reply
  • Cookie Galore
    Beginner November 2009
    Cookie Galore ·
    • Report
    • Hide content

    Fancyfree I'm so sorry to read this - massive hugs to you both. I've not been posting on here so much now I'm an OM but, without going into any details, I have direct experience of this and just want to say a couple of things you might not hear from elsewhere. I appreciate at this stage it won't be the first thing you're thinking of but it might help in the weeks and months to come: make sure you don't stop taking care of YOU - as well as your support your OH has the support of all of your friends, families as well as all of the medical support available. The unfortunate truth is that people will always ask you "how is he?" and very few will ever ask "how are you?", not out of nastiness it's just that they rarely think about or don't fully understand the impact it has on the patient's partner.

    Don't be afraid to vent to or to cry your heart out to someone (patients sometimes become grumpy, selfish or unreasonable - it's not really them talking, it's the illness) - if there isn't anyone you feel you can do that with IRL get it off your chest to a bunch of internet weirdies.

    If you feel you need help with boring everyday stuff do ask people - they will generally be more than willing to go and get your shopping in, help you clean the kitchen, run the hoover over the house for you. These things will be the last things you want to think about but as they build up they can start to get you down. Life goes on hold for the patient and they only have to concentrate on getting better - unfortunately the diagnosis doesn't come with a grocery fairy so you end up having to do all your normal everyday stuff as well as deal with this. Make use of friends and family.

    I can't really add anything else about the medical side of it that his consultant won't have gone over with you and hasn't already been said here. Take care and I'll be wishing your OH the speediest recovery possible.

    • Reply
  • D
    Beginner November 2011
    DTTB ·
    • Report
    • Hide content

    You r so strong, im welling up reading this, he sounds as if hes going 2 be ok, good luck xx

    • Reply
  • F
    Beginner December 2009
    fvj199 ·
    • Report
    • Hide content

    Big hug! I completely agree with what almostMrsP said. Sending out warming vibes.xx

    • Reply
  • fancyfree
    Beginner April 2010
    fancyfree ·
    • Report
    • Hide content

    Just wanted to say a massive thank you for all the kind words.

    fancyfree's H2B

    • Reply
  • ooh la la
    Beginner August 2013
    ooh la la ·
    • Report
    • Hide content
    View quoted message

    I haven't thought about anything else since Tuesday. I'm so sorry for you both.

    Sending all the good karma I have for tomorrow.

    You have a wonderful fiancee there D!

    x

    • Reply
  • K
    Beginner April 2010
    kazndave ·
    • Report
    • Hide content

    Just read thru all the posts and there are 5 pages of people behind you. we're all thinking of you & ur H2B.

    As one post said (sorry can't remember who) don't be afraid to ask for help, whether it be a shoulder to cry on or help round the house.

    hope everything goes well tomorrow.

    ?

    • Reply
  • W
    Beginner
    Wicket ·
    • Report
    • Hide content

    FF - I am so sorry that this has happened to you and your H2B. Thinking of you xxx

    • Reply
  • S
    Beginner May 2010
    shwayney ·
    • Report
    • Hide content

    Havent been here for a few days but just seen your post and all the amazing support the hitchers give. Didnt want to r&r, good luck for tomo xx

    • Reply
  • The Little Jewellery Box
    The Little Jewellery Box ·
    • Report
    • Hide content

    I haven't been on here for a few days and only just read your post.

    I am so sorry to hear your news. Last year we discovered that my mum has cancer and I truly know what an awful worrying time it is. We particularly found the early days after finding out and the period awaiting for further info and scan results extremely difficult. It was very strange but once chemo actually started it was a bit of a relief, perhaps just to feel like something was being done about it. Be there for each other, talk about how you're feeling and chat to family and close friends. Don't bottle up your worries.

    My thoughts are with you and your H2b. Sending lots and lots of positive vibes and big hugs xx

    • Reply
  • MrsW2b
    Beginner May 2008
    MrsW2b ·
    • Report
    • Hide content

    So sorry for you both, but very glad the news is looking as best as can be & which is the silver lining to get you both through. Going through things like this are very hard parts of life, but you sound like you have a good relationship & will support each other through this & im sure come out married & even stronger, ? to you both xx

    • Reply
  • debs1701
    Beginner
    debs1701 ·
    • Report
    • Hide content

    Thinkining of both of you for tomorrow ?....hoping for an extra speedy recovery x

    • Reply
  • bridgetvictoria
    Beginner April 2010
    bridgetvictoria ·
    • Report
    • Hide content

    Massive cyber hugs to you both my lovelies x

    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×


Premium members

  • Q
    Qa Test I got married in August - 2022 North Yorkshire

General groups

Hitched article topics

Contest icon

Win £3,000 for your wedding

Join Hitched Rewards, where you can win £3,000 simply by planning your wedding with us. Start collecting entries, it's easy and free!

Enter now