would it bother you..

I wouldn't think the worst of the B and G but like Lois I might think the venue was being a bit cheeky, charging a fortune for crappy chicken nuggets (if that's what they were)

Wouldn't mind my children eating that sort of thing for one day. Actually I make my own chicken nuggets and consider them pretty damned nutritious. ?

I can barely remember what we did, it was 9 years ago, I think we asked the parents what they wanted to do. most of the kids were under 2 and i think their parents brought their own food along? the older ones had mini versions of what the adults were having.

As for steak, there's little chance my 2 year old could manage it. she had haunch of venison the other day and said it was 'too spiky' and left the lot. ?

Thanks for the replies! The reason for the question is that a friend of a friend is due to be married and there are 3 kids attending(also the B & G's own) and my friend got a text to say kids will be having Nuggets chips and beans, my friend was annoyed because she doesn't give her child food like that and from what i hear there has now been an argument with the bride saying not to come because she heard my friend wasn't happy.

To be honest i can see both sides but i have to agree that places have far too limited a menu for kids that always seem to offer nuggets/mini pizza etc x

I think your friend is out of order tbh

It may not be what she would automatically choose to give her child but unless there are issues like allergies I think it was very rude of her to take issue with it with the bride and tbh if I was the bride I'd tell her where to go I'm afraid!

I'd have been perfectly happy as it's something Emily would enjoy and I have no problem with her having nuggets and chips now again. We've always given her a wide range of foods and she likes olives and spicy food but probably her favourites are chips and jelly.

I also think she was very rude to complain about the choice as unless there was a genuine food allergy if you're invited to a wedding you should accept what you get. It isn't going to kill them having it as a one off even if it's not what they'd choose themselves. I wonder what she does when the child goes to birthday parties where you're usually given a choice between nuggets/fish fingers/ sausages and chips?

Your friend shouldn't have made a fuss. The B&G possibly thought that all children would enjoy nuggets. In my experience most children do like them.

At my wedding we offered a choice of (I think) nuggets and chips or a half size portion of one of the adult menus. Most children went for the nuggets but my then 2 year old had duck (or was it lamb?), anyway the adult one.

Fair enough. I've only been to friends' and family weddings (inc some colleagues but only those I also consider friends). I think I'd struggle to attend a wedding if I couldn't summon up enough good will for the couple not to sneer at their taste.

I too fail to see why children need a separate option but clearly some people prefer it. I also imagine not all venues do small helpings of the normal meal and I can see why someone would baulk at spending £40 on dinner for a 2yo. We were lucky enough to avoid all this by not knowing a single person with children when we got married ?

We worked around it by just not inviting children. that caused issues in itself, and several people got very snotty and said that they couldnt possibly come if they chouldnt bring their children. it was easy, i just said it would be a shame if they couldnt make it for that reason, but that was fine. oddly they still managed to come, sans children. i know some people like having children at weddings, and thats fine of course, but of all the weddings i ve been to, the ones without are SO much better. the parents there are relaxed, they can have a drink, let their hair down etc instead of having their attention constantly distracted by their children running up to them and tugging on their sleeve. i appreciate that not everyones children do this, but i ve been to many weddings, and it seems that most do ?

It would bother me a little in that I would object to chicken nuggets and chips being deemed food suitable for that kind of occasion - ie, a treat. However, if you are going to have lots of children at a wedding and a lot of them won't eat the adult meal (which is a shame, but very common) then I can see the sense in it in terms of logistics.I certainly wouldn't comment to the couple on it.

We offered either half portions or a kids meal at our wedding (choice of sausage/chips/beans or cheese and tomato pasta). We had rack of lamb for our adult guests. The parents of older children tended in general to go for the mini adult meal, the younger children's parents went for one or the other of the children's choices. They explained it that its easier for the kids to "get on with" eating their own with those sorts of meals. It doesn't involve mum or dad doing as much cutting up and dishing out.

I've been to both types and I wouldn't say one type was better or worse, just different. We knew we didn't want a stuffy formal do so it didn't ever make sense to exclude children.

In addition, if I'd been excluding under 18s then two of my siblings wouldn't have been there ?

Luckily at the time the kids we knew were around 6,7,8 and we made sure they had plenty to do. We couldn't afford one of the "rent a nanny" things but did put together goody bags with lots of cheap toys, colouring books, bubbles, jigsaws etc etc and then had a giant jenga, giant connect 4 and a bouncy castle. And the evening entertainment was a ceilidh, which is very kid-friendly.

As it was, one set of parents did take their kids home early. They were family friends of H, but if they had been close friends of ours I think I would have been disappointed to see them go so early. That was the only downside I think.

I think the onus is on the B&G to provide some kind of entertainment for the children, or they will get bored and whingey and the parents won't be able to enjoy it.

so no children = stuffy and formal? ?

Hmmm, that's a tricky one, R-A because the B+G frankly have enough to think about without entertaining children - especially if you don't have any it may simply not cross your mind. Plus it's an added expense.

I always think most weddings must be quite dull for children, and can't see why anyone would want to drag them along if they don't have to.

L
xx

and also, each to their own and all that but the very notion of a bouncy castle at a wedding just fills me with dread

Gah, I knew that would come out wrong. Believe it or not, I'm not actually trying to be difficult this morning. ?

What I meant was, we knew we wouldn't mind kids running around, shouting, making a mess etc, whereas other people I know would. But it was lazily phrased. Apologies to anyone who had a non stuff formal child-free wedding.

It is, however, the height of bad manners to complain to the b+g about provisions for children/food. Or even moan within their circle if it's going to get back to them. If they want to serve everyone nuggets, beans and chips then they can get on with it

L
xx

Oh, I would have had one even if it wasn't for the kids ?

Some of our coolest photos are of us on the bouncy castle.

Yep, for sure.

But I think you either invite them and provide something for them to do (the bouncy castle was the main expense at £75; we also took some Lego and story books from home and raided the toy shops clearance corner) or if you don't provide any entertainment then expect them to get bored.

Can't you just not invite them? Are adult only weddings not the done thing?

L
xx

Re. the OP reply, why can the guest, if that horrified by nuggets anf chips, bring some sandwiches or whatever for their kids, suck it up and br grateful they were invited at all, rather than stressing the couple out over food?

Seemingly not on here ?

I personally think it's preferable to inviting them and not providing anything for them to do.

And I'm definitely of the opinion that the B&G should have things exactly as they want them (within reason) and if you don't like it, you don't go.

I must admit that I never understand why people invite people who they aren't close to (ie people who are going to moan and complain about things) in the first place. I think the "friend" of the OP is being incredibly rude. Either she's her friend, in which case she's just pleased to be there, or she's an idiot who shouldn't have been invited in the first place.

Isn't taking sandwiches also quite rude? I don't think I would have been overjoyed to see someone getting a packed lunch out at my wedding

L
xx

sandwiches ?

how about a scotch egg? ?

Appologies, have now managed to get the full story.

Basically my friend was informed that the kids would get nuggets at the wedding, my friend then called the Groom to ask if the hotel did anything else as her child wouldn't eat them and rather than have him fuss and annoy people she would pay for a different meal for her kid..The groom passed the info on to Bride who then went mad saying my friend is now no longer invited for saying nuggets were crap!(friend never said anything bad about them just that her kid wouldnt eat them)

I think my friend was pretty reasonable to offer to pay for a different meal and she also said if hotel didnt have anything else for kids she would pay full proice for adult meal instead..x

I don't really agree that the B&G should provide entertainment for the children, surely at most weddings they are totally happy racing around the garden or whatever? That's certainly my experience anyway.

To me weddings are about family and all being together and children are absolutely part of that. I love taking my son to weddings because he's really fun and he has a great time. Believe it or not my friends love him too and enjoy spending time with him. I always arrange childcare for the evening.

I wouldn't bat an eyelid at the nuggets, nor would I at any of the food served, but then I'm not generally in the habit of sneering at people.

Evidently the bride is a lunatic, and your friend having her invitation withdrawn seems like a real result.

Could it be a bit of chinese whispers though? Groom saying to bride 'x doesn't want y to have nuggets and wants to know if there's something else they can have'?

L
xx

At our wedding 2 and a half weeks ago we just went for smaller versions of the adult meal. Then again we didn't have anything particularly child-unfriendly to start with. Fishcake to start ( I should imagine most children would happily eat what is essentially a round fishfinger) fillet steak and roast new potatoes as the main course and apple tart tartin and locally-made ice cream for pudding. Only one child that I know of had something different as a main course, and I only know that because I saw her being brought something else. I think lots of venues are quite happy to accommodate the odd one or two fussy children if an issue arises.

Just read your update. The Bride sounds a bit of a looper I know the stress of wedding planning can do funny things to people but her reaction was a bit ott!

wss. i would have been fuming if someone had done that at my wedding breakfast.

nor do i get this concept of being 'grateful' that someone has invited you to their wedding. pleased and happy, yes. grateful? i don't think so.

OP, just read the 3rd update and i am perplexed at a child 'refusing' to eat nuggets tbh. what's in them that children find so offensive? sounds like it was her objection to me, and if i was the bride i'd think it a bit roooooood too. but having said that i wouldn't have freaked out like she did...i'd just think my friend was being a bit precious

I think the bride has a bad bout of bridezillaitis.

We had no children at our wedding, it just sort of happened that way as we had a really small (in numbers) wedding. With having no children in the immediate family and given our venue (a very small castle), it just wasn't ideal to invite my godchildren who were 3 and 5 at the time. They would have hated it and probably ruined the place within 10 minutes. ?

It couldn't have been less stuffy and informal though. ?

KtC, I don't think a child who doesn't like nuggets is no different to a child who won't eat fillet steak, carrots or any other food.

Some children only eat with their parents and nuggets are alien to them. My friend's son won't touch pizza with a barge-pole and everyone thinks he is odd or his mother is being precious but in reality, he just doesn't like it.

I think there has been a major miscommunication somewhere along the line and there are just too many people involved.

However, I know your friend was thinking of their child but I do think it's a bit awkward to want a different meal serving for your child even if you are prepared to pay for it. If your child doesn't like it just bring something else for them. Although I did notice that KTC said she wouldn't have liked that at her wedding whereas I would have thought it was ok for a child.

It does annoy me at work when we run through the child's meal option and all 3 adult meal options with the parent saying "she won't eat that". Watch me eat my words (oh gosh, no pun intended) when Zoe gets a few years older and turns into the fussiest child ever.