wwyd

Well, I can't have the TV volume on anything other than an even number (except, at a push, a number ending in 5) but I wouldn't have let this personality foible dictate the number of BMs I had

i just cznt. it wont look right. i want even numbers, odd n umbers - unless it was like a flower girl would just be odd... plus she wouldnt fit in with my other 2 BM ast all. theyre both boig girls with brown crly hair and shes stick thin and tbh were not as close as we once were

originally i wanted my brother to be my man of honour ansd she would walk down with him and it would be okay, but im facing so much opposition on it from my mother, my brother and my OH who think it would leave him open to all kind of jokes that it just wouldn't work. the only option would be to ask my brothers gf to be BM (and shes awesome) but there's that worry that something awful would happen and they would break up before the wedding and then what would i do?

Through personal experience I kind of understand how hard it is to do things differently to what you are used to with OCD playing a part. I guess only you knows whether in this instance having an extra bridesmaid will be something you could tolerate. Perhaps it could be the one thing you really want that would overcome and overpower the need for an even number. OR perhaps it would create an anxiety which would ruin the special day for you in which case it's not worth it.

I was thinking could you think about it a different way i.e. the female bridal party will be even if you had 3 i.e. 3 bms and a bride. In some ways that might be more symmetrical? Or could you have the even number in a different way i.e. having 3 BMs and then ensuring your H2B has 3 groomsmen so they can esach be paired with one for photos etc. Probs would not cut it but just a thought.

I can tell you what I wouldn't do in your situation, and that's not pick a bridesmaid based on her looks! Blimey! If you're not close, don't ask her to be one.

I can't even begin to figure out why having an odd number is a problem - it worked fine for us with 1 MoH, 2 BM's and a flower girl.

Is this post serious?

How can someone you consider to be a "random" even think she is going to be one of your bridesmaids?

I think this is a windup.

A better reason not to ask her.

I think the "random" would be the fourth BM, necessary to even the numbers up.

I thought she meant if she had this girl as a BM she would need to find a random to make it even again. For her OCD...

Trickers I think she meant if she ask this girl to be BM she would have to ask a 'random' to be BM too to even it up. I think.

I'm confused by the whole post...

I think the fact that she would have to ask a 'random' to be a bridesmaid if she had her friend makes it quite simple..don't ask her. It's your wedding and just because you think that she will expect to be bridesmaid doesn't mean you should have her. Plus she will probably be too busy planning her own wedding to worry about being your bridesmaid. Do you think you will be one of hers?

Yes. WSS - there you go problem solved!

Hey I understand. I used to have an even number OCD when I was younger. If I eat malteasers etc I'd have to take them in twos out of the bag.

For everyone without an OCD..... this OCD is totally overwhelming and it's more important to have 'some random' to even up the numbers than to ot have the third BM

It's almost like superstition.

I would understand more if the OP said she absolutely HAD to have this friend as a bm but she said that she's not even that close to her anymore.

As for the comment about her copying you ideas, this would bug the hell out of me. I had a friend throughout highschool that would copy everything I bought which is so frustrating so I am with you on this one, especially if her wedding is before yours!! x

it is not a windup!! FFS

i consider just hvaing someone be a 4th bm to msake up the numbers silly and random - i would have my brothers gf but im worried they will break up and as for the even number thing - even thinking about having an odd number makes me feel anxious because i feel like something bad could happen and its kinda hard to realise unless you feel this way. i cant do anything in odd numbers.

i feel a little upset that you would think someone would do a wind-up and tbh if i'm going to get replies like that maybe this place isn't as nice and friendly as i thought it was going to be

yhank you!

i have to stir my tea 29 times before i drink it. to others it looks like i'm loopy of being stupid of having a joke, but its a serious cause for anxiety

Thought you couldn't do anything in odd numbers? Even worse, an odd PRIME number?!?

Surely this is normal? More malteasers in your gob in one go.

Perhaps you could explain your OCD to your friend and what it means in terms of not being able to have an odd number of BMs, she would understand and then maybe she could do a reading for you?

Was thinking the same thing...

?

Sorry you feel this way JoannaD. I was disappointed to see some misunderstandings on this thread. I guess as an OCD sufferer you may be used to this unfortunately. I guess it's hard for people who don't suffer to get their head round just how important the 'weird' things you do are, and that you would not do them if you for a moment felt you didnt HAVE to. However, I think there may be some productive advice here too, and most people tend to be well meaning. We do get some crazy wind ups from non genuine people from time to time. Hope this doesnt put you off. Good luck with whateever you decide.

I almost spat my drink all over the screen! ?

Lol, you know when I was in my teens I had a terrible OCD brought on by stress at home. Trouble walking through doorways, switching lights on an even number of times. All of which was self reinforcing and horrible to go through. I grew out of it as I hit my twenties but heck I thought I was going to be like that forever.

If I did only get one of something, like a malteaser I would break it in two in my mouth to even things up. It's how I dealt with the last one in the bag.

Glad you did this if there was an odd one left - MUCH more sensible than leaving it. Mmm Malteasers...

Erm excuse me there is no need for the FFS comment to me. What I thought made the post sound like a windup is also the fact you said you couldn't ask her as she is skinny and your other two are "big". No need to flounce about the replies not being nice.

sorry i meant 28 lol

If you don't want this girl as your bridesmaid because you are no longer close then fair enough. If you are excluding her based on her looks then that is incredibly unkind, OCD or not!

its got nothing to do with her looks :/ where did i say that?

oh wait... edit..

i didnt say i wouldnt have her as my bm cos shes thin, but that she would look out of place with my other bm's unless i had my brother... who is being a bit reluctant to be my man of honour tpo usher her down. i just think it would look unbalanced

Except that's exactly what you said: 'the other girls are boig [sic] with brown curly hair and she's stick thin'. Editing to make yourself look better when pulled up on a point of view is frowned up around here. Not having a go, just giving you a nod of what's an absolute no no around here.

its got noithing to do with making myself look better, size does not indficate who looks better than anyone else anyway. both my bridesmaids are very pretty girls, much prettier than i am IMO. i meant the balance of it, not that shes prettier or whatever. you can have a stick thin girl whois face looks like a bus has hit it and no matter how thin they are they will never look "prettier" than the big girl with the gorgeous smile.

its to do with the fact that imo it looks odd to have 2 big girls and one thin girl, unless i had my brother to usher her or his gf as a BM and that would fit in. and it did feel like hvaing a go, but maybe its more to do with not understanding what i meant because sometimes im not so good at getting my thoughts across when i'm nervous and this place makes me very nervous