"Young" bride rant!

I got married in march and im 20 ive had it all lol! but we do have a son and my hubby is 28 nearly 29 lol i dont care about what people say though were happy and thats all that matters

good luck

I'm 25 too and I've had a bit of wow you're young, but it's jealousy 9 times out of 10 so just smile and rise above it :-)

I'm 23 and will be 25 when we get married. When my OH's dad ordered champagne in a restaurant last yr to celebrate our engagment the waiter said "you're both a bit young aren't you?" when he was also clearly a student and younger than me! My OH and I have known each other since we were 14 and been together since we were 17 so I really don't feel 22 was too young to get engaged in these circumstances!

Why would it be jealousy?

I think people just don't think before commenting - I'm sure they don't mean to offend you. I think 25 is perhaps a bit below the average nowadays (although I don't base this on any actual statistics, just a hunch!), but whatever is right for you.

My sister got married the day before she turned 21 and she got this a lot and still does (shes 28 this year) She just told them not to worry about it as it didnt affect them ?

They had been togther since she was 11 and he was 12 and had a 2 year old when they got married. They have been happy ever since and now have 3 wonderful girls the youngest is 7 months.

If your happy bugger them.

I disagree with gurzle on the average age. I own my own chair cover/venue decor business and id say 70-80% of our brides are under 28.

Firefly I'm the same as you! 23 now, 25 when we get married. I can't believe I have had no negetive comments yet (tbh I was expecting it!) but we've only been engage since Friday so I wouldn't be surprised if I did encounter some. I reacon it is jealousy mainly

25= perfect age to get married! XXXX

I'm 24 but not had this at all!

I know now I'm sure the average age of a bride has risen to beyond my age perhaps but my mum and grandma both got married at 18 and I think that was a bit more 'common' back then! So no-one's really said anything to me as compared to them I'm old lol

A quick google says the average age for first time brides in the UK is 30, and for first time husbands is 32...maybe younger brides prefer chair covers, though! ?

Haha maybe its just the east midlands that have younger brides

It funny to think that maybe 30 years ago, people might have made a comment along the lines of " you better get a move on and make sure you don't get left on the shelf" to a 25 yr old unmarried woman . ?

When we went to our first wedding fayre, I had a comment from a photographer that was at the opposite end of the scale- something along the lines of " Many older brides that live with their partners now don't follow the tradition of the groom not seeing the bride before the ceremony on the big day " I have no idea if this is true or not but I pretty hacked off at being referred to as " an older bride " .....I'm 36 !!!! ... as for the photographer , needless to say - she DIDN'T get hired ! lol

I second Gurzle's comment - why would it be jealousy? You appear to have awfully high opinions of yourselves ? Seriously, I think that a lot of the time it's meant in a 'don't tie yourself down early' way, nicely meant (if still interfering!).

Gurzle is also correct about the average age for marriage being higher now, the Office of National Statistics currently puts the average age of people making their vows at 36.2 years for men and 33.6 for women.

Crumbs really? That is older than I thought!

Oh no! I didn't mean it to come across like I had a high opinion of myself. Sorry if I offended, I was just trying to make her feel better.

When one of my friends got married when she was 20 the negativity was unbelivable but they are still incrediably happy 5 years on!

I think it can be jealousy, some of my friends are single and really want to be with someone special so it's not an age thing necessarily but I'd still call it jealousy.

I think people can certainly say things without thinking, several people have asked me if I'm getting married because I'm pregnant...I'm not but I'm now self concious about my stomach!

IMHO you can tie yourself down to the wrong person at any age! The average age thing is funny, about half of my friends from uni are married or have kids but my post uni friends in London I'm the first and it's the same with my OH but he's four years older.

Regardless of ages, I thought we were all on here as we were planning our weddings to great OHs ?

Don't worry! No one was offended - just intrigued that several people thought this sort of a comment might suggest jealousy. We are not a touchy bunch here!

I'm 22, and my Partner is 26, we've been together 4 years and have a daughter together, we're getting married now because we want to and otherwise we'd never afford it!

I'm 22, and my Partner is 26, we've been together 4 years and have a daughter together, we're getting married now because we want to and otherwise we'd never afford it!

Hahaha I don't think anyone's offended, hence the laughing smiley - I just didn't 'get' where the jealousy aspect came from... I understand what Jessie has just put though. I still think people are just incredibly thoughtless sometimes. I also don't get where the idea of being 'too young' to marry comes from as I imagine many people in our parents and grandparents generation married much younger.

I can understand someone who knows you well being in a position to think you are too young, as that will come from what they know of you personally - when it comes from someone who knows you less well, I don't think much is meant by it. Hope that makes sense!

I'm sure it was just her not thinking before speaking and trying to be funny rather than it being jealosy or intentially rude, but it's still irritating. Like others have said, my grandparents were married with kids at my age! It just amazes me how people think they have the right to comment on the life choices of people they barely know! She's just a work colleague, not even a friend.

Thank gurzle! I'm so new to this!

Tbh I think I'd just respond that someone was jealous as a defense thing- bit of a human reaction to implied criticism if you know what I mean!

xxxx

Both myself and D are 23 and get married in less than three months. We've not had a lot of negative comments, however its slightly more common to get married young where we come from. Several of our friends that we went to school with are either already married/engaged to get married in the next year or so. We grew up in a very rural area and those getting married have all known their OH's a very long time, in many cases went to school together (like D and myself! On the other hand theres plenty of other people we went to school with who aren't getting married or even in long term relationships.

Comments wise D has had a comment or two from people at work who are surprised but they don't know him well or know me at all. The people who said anything didn't realise we'd been together so long either.

I think, I know this seems to be the case in my experience, that often people don't expect 'younger' couples to commit through marriage. There's always negative press around teenage pregnancy and the sex lives of 'the younger generation', and therefore thats all that people expect sometimes. Sometimes people forget that regardless of age you can still fall in love, raise a family and live your life how you hoped to. Not all 'young' people sleep around or are irresponsible with their lives.

Just an example, my friend (now 25) got pregnant at 17 accidentally, dropped out of college and now has 3 children, her own business and is happily married. But everyone at the time said 'ooh cant believe you're getting married/having a baby you're throwing your life away... blah blah blah', she didnt care. Ask her now and she'll tell anyone it was the best decision she didnt have to make!

I guess what i'm saying is the same as most Hitchers who have replied... who cares what people say, as long as you know you're making the right decision and as long as your happy! Are their comments going to change anything? No, so dont worry! ?

Https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/8415852/Average-age-for-women-to-marry-hits-30-for-first-time.html

national average is 30 now for a woman, maybe young women are more concerned about things like table covers and venue decor than over 28's?

Its horrible when people comment and it can be upsetting but i when i see girls 10 years younger than me getting married/having kids i feel a little sad that they will miss out on all the fun of carefree girls holidays, dating etc But i guess some people don't want those things. I bet in 10/20 years you will meet someone your age and think hmm arn't you a little young. However i think just saying it out load is very rude.

Yea I certainly think wow 25 (or younger) is young to be getting married when i hear people say it, but that is based on my own life plans experience and looking back to where and what I was doing when I was 25 I certainly didn't want to be settled down when there is a big world out there to see and people to meet and also University to finish. But each to their own everyone is free to live their own life.

With regard to people being jealous (I think its sad that anyone would be) but those kind of people would be jealous regardless of what ever age you were.

Im another ' young' bride . Im 21 and will be 22 when i get married . Family and most friends are over the moon for us. We have been together 5 years and have lived together about 2. I have had a few ' your so young' comments from suppliers i've enquired about which i found rude so didnt book them lol

The one that shocked me most though was from a close friend who said she thought it was crazy to get married at this age. Which at first i was a bit annoyed about but got over it as i dont think she ment to offend .

I know i have met the rigth person for me and it doesnt mean that becasue i will be married i cant explore the world and meet new people . It just means i have someone else to share these experiences .

Everyone is entitled to their own opion but sometimes its better to think it than share it out loud i.e with the suppliers . If your happy then nothing else should matter lifes to short to be worrying about age

Im 22 and will be 23 when we get married, I can't say I have encountered this but we have done things a bit backwards and never do things by halves. I've been with my OH for 6 years now, we have 2 kids, a home, car, 2 businesses and although I dont feel young, I actually was just looking through pictures of an old school friend who just got married and my first thought was OMG your too young lol... I don't know why, because he's not 'too' young, hes the same age as my OH. I don't think people say it to cause offense or be prejudice, I certainly didn't think that way. I guess i still see him as the 'boy' from school.

Just take those comments with a pinch of salt, you are young, but not too young and only you can be the judge of that

I was 25 when engaged and had no 'you're too young' comments! I must have had a hard life and look older than my age [:'(]

?

What a load of rubbish.

I'm 25 and almost feel too young to get married. I will feel dead old saying, 'come meet my husband' ?

I had a customer once ask me what my mum thought about it and if she was happy about me getting married so young, but I think he thought I was younger than I am as he didn't even think I was old enough to drive!!! Other than that I have had no comments and even if I did then I would be flattered.

Just a curious question, where's the line between a 'young' and 'old' bride??

I'm getting married at 23.

I get a few comments but mainly from people that think getting smashed and sleeping with random people is the meaning of life. Important people to me are 100% happy for us. We have been together 7 years already so I don't see why it matters. What i dont get is people that seem to think our lives are over because were getting married. I still plan on seeing the world and meeting new people, just with my husband with me. You dont have to be single to go travelling.