Your worst RSVP?

My Uncle Alan.

Despite several reminders, chases from other family members too, and over at least six months, absolutely nothing.

Not even a "not sure, can I let you know" - no response whatsoever.

I've given your space to someone else now. Stuff you, Uncle Alan.

This was after he moaned to another relative who mentioned our wedding "harumph havent had my invite yet".

My Grandad isn't coming because he couldn't possibly leave france in august as it would ruin his boat trip - he has done the same one for over 18 years......

His loss! but still not really talking to him

And whats with people who just dont bother to RSVP!? OK, so I know our are all evening invites but we still need to know numbers for evening catering. Some of my closest friends havent even acknowledged that they've had their invite! I wonder if they think because its an evening invite they dont need to RSVP? Or maybe they think because they verbally said at some point over the past 6 months that they would attend?

I think most people don't grasp what "RSVP" means. Most seem to think that it is "let us know if you're coming" whereas it actually means “reply please” or "please respond" which means you need to know either way.

It's very frustrating, having spent ages chasing people who haven't replied because they thought dropping an email or facebook message was an acceptable response (we put in a reply post paid envelope for a reason, use it), or are waiting till nearer the time to see if they're free (tip, if you're already booked, say so, if you're not doing something else that day then you're free to come to the wedding).

Times like this you really find out who your true friends are. What makes me chuckle is family that don't respond, then when chased saying "well you know I'd come don't you".

Unfortunately, rsvp's aren't just to see if someone is coming, it's to get things like dietary requirements as you may not know someone doesn't eat pork, or is allergic to dairy, however close they may be to you.

Annoying isn't it?! Weddings really do bring out the worst in some people. I'd happily drive for 2 hours to a friend's wedding

We've had quite a lot of evening guests not RSVP so I'm just going to guess the evening catering! I posted last week about the reply we had addressed only to Mr Kooks!

We didnt get too many bad excuses, other than 2 people not showing at all, but a few relatives 'supposedly' verbally told my MIL that they werent coming to the wedding.

Note though that MIL is a woman I hadnt seen or spoken to for 6mths prior to the wedding, they live 2hrs from us, the wedding was in Sydney & the invites were sent from my mother who lives in Sydney! How on earth were we supposed to get the message that these UK relatives were/werent coming when they had no contact at all with myself, hubby or my mother???

Mr C's uncle... who he barely sees, was miffed that he hadn't been consulted over the date and simply sent back the RSVP with "on holiday in the Canaries, as usual"...

Needless to say, I shall not be speaking to him again. Rude.

I am awful, in that I've no chased people for an RSVP - if they've not replied, then to me that is a decline. With a house move on Friday i've had bigger, more important things to think about.

I have however just emailled OHs acceptances who all "verbally accepted" to find that 5/20 actually can't make it, and at least 3 other couples haven't got their invite, so don't have the details. Thank goodness for our wedding website, which is where i have pointed them. Now I am going through emailling the rest. Grr

My worst RSVP was from My Moms cousins daughter (who I get on reasonably well with). She and her partner initially declined as they were abroad on holiday, they then split up so she sent her Dad over to my Moms to ask if it was possible to add her back into numbers (which I did) only to then find that they then got back together, and the holiday is now back on. She did however fail to tell me this, until my hen night last weekend. Fun and games huh!

We are missing about 4 - 3 of which are OH's friends.

One of the them i am hoping they dont come cos i cant stand them - but i need to know either way cos im not forking out for Champagne for them if they're not gona be turning up.

grrr!

We didnt have any openly rude ones...we've only had 2 declines and theyre for the evening...

LM, good for you! ?

Off a friend of K's she has known for 11 years "wont be able to make it as my boss has cancer and there will be no-one to cover her work". This was said in April when the wedding was in July. Needless to say we have received no well wishes or congratulations since we got hitched ?

Also found it really odd that a few people who had rsvp a yes never even bothered turning up to the evening reception and we havnt heard anything of them either - strange. I would never be that rude, knowing full well we will eventually speak again and bump into each other and will make for an uncomfortable situation.

It sure is...

We received a reply card from boy's uncle, with just the "decline" box ticked, no message or anything (although, of course, he wasn't obliged to provide an explanation). In terms of age and growing up together, boy is fairly close to this uncle so he was a bit disappointed, although that rapidly descended into indifference. We bumped into the uncle about 6 weeks ago and he didn't even acknowledge the invitation or wish us luck.

Still, this was better than the two "not even bothering to reply"s that we had. I chased one to no avail and left the other. They are both "declines by default" now

I hand delivered an invite to my sil including hubby, teenage daughter and grown up son ( who Ive never met but felt I had to invite as hes her family) and straight away she said Can son bring his gf as he wont come otherwise. In front of said son and gf.

I had to say yes, too embarrassed not to, but with hindsight wish I had said no?

I had simular DaisyDoo - except that they approached me via my weak point... Mother. Haha, she was always going to say yes! Need to toughen her up!

I remember this Mrs C. I think you posted it before and I found it so rude that I remembered it.

I travelled nearly 500 miles (one way) to go to a couple of my friend's weddings - and one was only an invite to the evening bit!!

ETA - Oops!! I noticed my post is a bit "Proclaimer"ish!! ?

Anyone that doesn't turn up on the day without a good reason or even bothering to make contact as to why will automatically be struck off the contact list.

We have decided we need to "fully seat" everyone for the evening as we have some large family groups coming and we've had to put 5/5/2 and 6/4/3 etc together on our tables of 12 otherwise we will end up with having to put out extra tables as we're fairly full.

It also means that anyone who leaves their favours behind will get them posted on to them as, again, it's rude not to take the gift we have provided for them.

As long as people comply with our seating plan it should be easy to identify the "no shows", so we can invoice them for wasted food/drink.

Too right too - after al the effort you put in to make them.

??

We had some cousins of my OH kick up a fuss because they were "only" invited to the evening and not the day when all other cousins have been invited all day. Urm, that's because I have never met you and OH hasn't seen you for 15 years.

We ended up inviting them anyway and OH wrote a letter of apology to his aunt. His aunt and the cousins have not RSVPed... VERY rude given that they forced us to invite them in the first place.

Another couple have not RSVPed and they are getting married themselves a couple of weeks before us. You think that they of all people would know how important it is to RSVP.

We're getting married abroad and made it clear that we understood if people can't come but still said that "we're sure you'd appreciate that in order to book a reception venue we still need an idea of numbers so please let us know if you're even considering coming"..... we only received 5 out of 50 RSVP's, others were close family/friends we see all the time who told us to our faces which was fine, but 2 close friends who had been talking about coming when we booked it 2 years ago gave me no RSVP, no text message, email, didn't even respond to the messages I sent them about it on Facebook!!! I can only assume that with 6 weeks to go and no word from them that they are not coming.

Mr K's step-brother did this. V bad manners! A slight improvement on his step sister though who hasn't replied at all. Doesn't bother me as I don't know them but not very good form!

My cousin's best male friend RSVP'd yes to all day invite - but then didn't turn up as he was miffed he'd not been invited with a plus one. He was single - all his friends and anybody he'd have taken as a plus one was already at the wedding and sitting at his table.....

Also at the same wedding an elderly couple who are friends of the family didn't turn up. Wedding was in December, the roads were bad and we were worried sick about them. They hadn't even left to travel to wedding, but didn't bother to tell anybody. Understandable not to come because of the weather, but made us worried for no reason.

I understand why weddings can cause so many fall outs - some people are so inconsiderate and rude!!

Me I love stationary and writting letters so my acceptance card would be first in the post, even if I'd verbally confirmed!

One of the girls from our group of close friends is not coming to mine. She has another wedding that day from a girl she went to uni with. Originally she was coming to ceremony and drinks of mine then evening of other friend (who's wedding is c.150miles away). Message on Sunday to say that she has decided to go to other wedding not mine but she will be coming to my hen weekend which makes it all so much better!? Er no.....I'd rather have you at my wedding! Hmph!

Apparently via word of mouth ( passed from Gran to MIL to Me ) OH's Aunt will not be coming as she is 'probably' house sitting how can she not know?! she has known about the wedding for over a year. Still no RSVP though, oh well!

When a good friend of mine was married she invited a work collegue for 'political reasons' as she was inviting the rest of her small office, thought she ddn't really want to invite this one women.

She replied accepting, but in the special dietary requirement section she had in her invite she added, that if they are going out her children will only eat McDonalds!

When my friend verbably told her at work the next day to politely 'get lost' and that her children wern't even invited anyway the women tried arguing that McDonalds was cheaper anyway, than eating a roast dinner with vegatables, which no one eats anyway.

Invite withdrawn, politics didn't matter with that kind of stupidity.

I am continually bemused and apalled by the lack of manners shown by people who you have been kind enough to invite to your wedding...some of these examples are awful!

We are getting married quite a way from everyone, so were kind of expecting quite a few declines but have been pleasantly surprised that the only declines have been because people are actually out of the country...oh except for my uncle, who can't come because he can't find someone to look after his dog ?. I am also waiting to receive two RSVP's back, one from friends who got married last year, so in theory should know better...and the other from my Dad. Who has also upset me by putting his new girlfriend's wishes before mine by deciding to now travel down the full journey the morning OF THE WEDDING as she doesn't want to travel on the Friday. FFS.

On the flip side, one of my friends is so desperate to come that after her evil MIL pulled out of babysitting duty she has hatched a plan to drive 100m miles north to Glasgow to drop the kids off at her sister's then FLY down south and hire a car to get to the wedding. AMAZING!

My bug bear has been people saying thngs like 'count us in', but not telling us who that includes. We specifically asked for poeple to spell out who was coming as we had to arrange childcare. Now i'm in the camp of 'you didn;t say little x was coming, so there is no childcare arranged and no kids allowed in the ceremony!

Not my worst RSVP but our pianist told me about a wedding she played at where the groom's father didn't come because it was a Saturday and he does his big shop at Asda on a Saturday!!!

My two old school friends who I have known for 20+ years not coming because their OHs are invited to the evening only...at the invite stage, I had only met their OHs once!!! These are women in their 30s who can not be separated from their boyfriends for a few hours - it was such an eye opener!!! Makes the friends and family travelling from afar (Cyprus, Germany, HK and Malaysia) seem more special to us.

Some of these are awful!

My Nan isn't coming because she can't leave her dog. Well, that's what it started out as, then turned into she "just can't" come. Not even to my ceremony. Which she told my mum she would then backtracked. Most of this "RSVPing" has been done via my mum, she hasn't even got the decency to speak to me herself, which hurts the most. Initially, when we were planning our wedding breakfast, I spoke to my nan to find out what meat she can't eat (she has a few food intolerances) and that's when she blurted out "you know I won't be coming don't you?" And then wondered why I got upset! Now the wedding is so close (Sunday), I've kind of hardened myself to it but I still feel very sad that I'm not important enough for her. My other nan was even going to phone her to tell her how upsetting it is but I told her not to. I don't want her badgered into coming, that would be worse.

Sorry that was a rant!

I was quite relaxed with our other RSVPs, some of them were via email, text and one of our friends I just asked him when we were out one night! And actually, we got all our RSVPs on time with only one or two declines which I feel very lucky about, especially after reading some of the threads on here!