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Ostira
Dedicated October 2023 Durham

Babies & Weddings

Ostira, 13 September, 2022 at 17:30 Posted on Off Topic Posts 0 13
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Hi, so my sister recently gave birth a few weeks ago and I wasn’t expecting the rollercoaster emotions for myself! I’m planning my wedding for next year and her pregnancy and baby has always been at the forefront of my mind because I can’t have children (something I still haven’t gotten over) but ever since she gave birth I’ve been excited, happy, in shock, emotional and really down all at once. I’m so incredibly happy for her because it’s all she’s ever wanted but it’s also what I’ve always wanted. This may not be the right place to discuss but I just need some kind words of support I think. She’s always wanted to get married yet hasn’t and I am. I’ve always wanted a baby yet can’t and she now has one. I want to ask if anyone can relate to my feelings but I feel as though I may be alone there!
I feel like I’m not as excited for my own wedding anymore because this sadness has taken over and I feel awful

13 replies

Latest activity by Michelle, 19 October, 2022 at 10:27
  • R
    Genius July 2020 Monmouthshire
    RomanticGreenStationery27135 ·
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    Sending hugs. It's so hard to have to deal with something like this.

    Remember that your wedding is still a year away. Emotions are very raw right now because this has just happened, but it won't always be this hard. I am sure that excitement will gradually start to build once you are nearer your wedding day.

    Remember too that it's ok to feel sad for yourself. Don't feel guilty for having these feelings. They are normal. And don't push yourself. Your new niece is hopefully going to bring you much joy, but it is inevitable that she will also bring some sadness - don't be afraid to acknowledge both emotions to yourself, and give yourself the time and space when you are struggling with the grief. It might also be worth seeking out some help via counselling or a support group to help you work through the pain. xxx

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  • Ostira
    Dedicated October 2023 Durham
    Ostira ·
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    Thank you so much. It’s such a hard time for me currently and I’m wanting to be there for my sister and her baby because it’s her first child but I feel myself wanting to cry the whole time. I will definitely look into some counselling/support group and hopefully it will help xxxxx
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  • Michelle
    VIP July 2026 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
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    Sending love your way it's hard when you want something like this and know you can't but others can but you will have so much love to give the little one X I think talking with someone will really help and then you can start enjoying your planning X❤️
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  • Ostira
    Dedicated October 2023 Durham
    Ostira ·
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    Thank you so much for your reply and support, knowing how you feel, I’m so sorry. I was actually pregnant the same time as my sister early on, we were only a week apart but I lost mine due to an ectopic and was told I couldn’t have anymore after tests, I spent the whole pregnancy comparing thinking “ I should be doing this too” so when she gave birth it just shocked me completely, I’m over the moon but devastated because that should be me too’
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  • Ostira
    Dedicated October 2023 Durham
    Ostira ·
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    Thank you so much Michelle ♥️ I do love him so much and he’s so wonderful, it’s just hard because of a loss I had I felt like it should be me holding my baby too, I’m definitely looking into counselling xx
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  • Michelle
    VIP July 2026 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
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    I know your feeling down have you ever considered fostering or adoption it's not the same but with all the love you have to give and talking will be such I good thing talk to your sister as well she might not of known you felt like this sending lots of hugs X❤️
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  • Ostira
    Dedicated October 2023 Durham
    Ostira ·
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    I would love to adopt but there is factors that I believe they won’t accept, a lot to do with my past of depression but I’m hoping once we’re married, we can look into this as a proper option because you’re right I have so much love to give and just want to be a mum, it doesn’t matter to me if I actually am pregnant x
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  • Michelle
    VIP July 2026 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
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    Thats what you should be exited about your wedding me and my sister were trying at the same time it took 3 years for me to fall pregnant but she lost one I felt so guilty she has tried again but lost 4 altogether it is hard X❤️
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  • Ostira
    Dedicated October 2023 Durham
    Ostira ·
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    Mine was an ectopic at 7 weeks and my sister was 8 weeks, luckily she had a healthy pregnancy but it didn’t stop me feeling upset at big events like her gender scan reveal, her baby shower, decorating the nursery etc. I just hope that it’ll happen one day ♥️x
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  • Michelle
    VIP July 2026 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
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    It is hard here if you need to talk X but remember wedding first and enjoy your planing then you can look to the future and see how you can go about it just remember the love you both have to give and get talking about how you feel X ♥️ here any time to talk x
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  • Michelle
    VIP July 2026 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
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    I hun hope your okay X❤️
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  • Ostira
    Dedicated October 2023 Durham
    Ostira ·
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    Hi lovely, sorry for the late reply. I’m doing much better now and don’t have that feeling as much anymore, we’ve booked the church and I’m feeling much more excited about my wedding again! X
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  • Michelle
    VIP July 2026 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
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    I am happy you are feeling okay it takes time 🥰 so glad you booked the church glad you sorted it ♥️
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