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Katie
Beginner August 2024 Ross-shire

Backlash from family over band

Katie, 13 August, 2022 at 23:01 Posted on Planning 0 11
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Hi! I need some help. My partner and I are big rockers. Not into pop music at all. Although we tolerate discos at other people's weddings, this is not our thing at all.
We were really excited about the band we have chosen to play at our wedding. They are an awesome band who play punk rock versions of popular songs, e.g. Britney, Up Town Funk, etc. but in a rock style. We've seen them play at a few local festivals and they really get the crowd moving. They really do sound absolutely amazing!

Unfortunately, I've had nothing but negative comments from my family about this. I've tried to ignore them and remind them that it's our day and or music choice, but their comments are really getting to me. It's gotten to the point where I feel like not inviting them or having no guests and it just being metals and my partner with no one else invited.
Had anyone got any advice on this?

11 replies

Latest activity by Pedrosveb, 18 August, 2022 at 03:55
  • Lucy
    Savvy September 2022 Hampshire
    Lucy ·
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    Poor you. I’m glad you’ve chosen exactly what you and you other half want for your day. Stick to your guns and just be blunt with people when they make comment. Say it’s your choice and you don’t want to discuss it further. I bet on the day they will love it!
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  • L
    Dedicated September 2023 Derbyshire
    Lizzie ·
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    I'm hoping we can persuade our DJ (who comes with the venue) to play some music that is more to our taste than the usual stuff. We are also rockers and don't want the mainstream pop stuff as I wouldn't recognise it anyway.


    Have you told them how their comments are making you feel? Hardest thing in the world for me to do, but it can help if I explain to someone in the family why I don't appreciate them saying X, Y, and Z. Then invite them (if you're close, or don't if you aren't), and it's up to them if they want to come or not. In the end, enjoy your day and the band. They sound amazing!
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  • Katie
    Beginner August 2024 Ross-shire
    Katie ·
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    Thank you! This definitely helps!
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  • Katie
    Beginner August 2024 Ross-shire
    Katie ·
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    Thank you! It's mainly my Dad, so bit difficult. I think he thinks he is being funny, but I know he's serious as well (if that makes sense) so that's the upsetting bit. I've already spoken to him about some of his other intrusive comments this week so will have to give out a bit of time. Its upsetting me coz we usually have a great relationship. We've been visiting family this week and they've all been jumping on the band wagon. It just makes me feel like shit thinking people are going to hate it so much, but I would hate having to listen to shit like Abba all night! 😆


    You should totally do a playlist for your DJ - that will make life easy for them! We have done one for when the band is finished 😁
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  • Ellie
    Beginner July 2023 Lincolnshire
    Ellie ·
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    Do exactly what you want - your wedding!!
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  • H
    Expert November 2022 Lincolnshire
    Hayley ·
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    Don't compromise on what you and your partner want for your day. If you want these people at your wedding then invite and they will just have to get over it.


    I'd suggest not revealing any more of your wedding plans to people if you are getting unhelpful responses. They can't comment and put a downer on your ideas if they don't know them.
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  • Michelle
    VIP July 2026 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
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    You need to stick to what you both want and just not mention it again its you and h2b who are getting married no one else if rocks you have rock x💗
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  • R
    Genius July 2020 Monmouthshire
    RomanticGreenStationery27135 ·
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    Is there an option to have a side room that people can use as a quiet space if they don't like the noise?

    I'm in full sympathy with those who want their favourite music at their own wedding, but at the same time, as someone with sensitive hearing who usually leaves weddings with a splitting headache due to the volume of music, I'm also in sympathy with your family! I've really appreciated weddings where there has been space to sit somewhere quieter and chat or just chill. Perhaps if this is an option at your venue, it might make your family happier with your music choice?

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  • Jas
    Curious November 2024 Oxfordshire
    Jas ·
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    It’s your day and if it will make you happy then you do what you want. It’s a day to be selfish, and do what makes you and your partner happy! I really hope they come round and except that’s what you want x
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  • L
    Beginner September 2022
    LuxuriousIvoryStationery61188 ·
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    Gosh, this is all so tricky. Have your family contributed significantly to the cost of your wedding? Is that what is driving the backlash? Even so, keep the band and make sure the DJ sets in between provides a bit more variety away from the music the bands playing …
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  • Katie
    Beginner August 2024 Ross-shire
    Katie ·
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    Thanks so much everyone for your advice! I feel more reassured about our choice ☺️
    We are planning to have a separate area for those who aren't into the band and working on some other bits and pieces so hopefully it will all work out 😁

    Wedding is not until 2024 so lots of time for plans to shift and people to come around ☺️
    Good luck with all of your days! 😀
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