Bridesmaid dress problem....

It doesn't sound bitchy at all. I'm sure there are a lot of brides who have to deal with this problem a few weeks before the wedding. My mum is always saying "but I'm going to lose 2 stone before the {insert wedding/holiday etc}".

Could you say to her that you would feel more comfortable if she bought a dress that fitted now so that there was no pressure to lose the weight and that you would pay for the alterations (check that it can be easily altered) when (if) she loses the weight.

It's a difficult one but I think you'll just have to say to her that you are really worried about it and that buying a size that fits now would stop you worrying and when she does lose the weight you will have it altered to fit her perfectly so it doesn't matter anyway (and she can sut out the label lol).

I've had this with my sister. My 6 bridesmaids have all bought their own but she is still yet to fit in hers with less than 4 weeks to go. I'm trying not think about it & checked many times with her which size she wanted (my other sister then changed her mind & is very glad she ordered a more realistic size). I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that she'll fit in it. Not much else you can do

In that situation, I would either make her buy the dress that fitted and if she protested, just explain that it's quite normal to do this and then have it fitted by a seamstress closer to the time or I would just phone the shop after she ordered it and change the order to the size that fitted her and take it on the chin if she did lose weight.

I personally don't believe in the whole buy a size smaller thing. I've lost 2 stone so far and I'm still the same dress size I was when I was heavy. Obviously things look better now, but because I'm an hourglass the tummy is loose and the straps need adjusting, but have boobs and a bum that fill most dresses.

I don't think it sounds bitchy - I never understood the whole "buy a size smaller" thing as you never know where you're going to lose the weight from. Very few people are lucky enough to lose the weight evenly from all over their body - my backside disappeared and about a year later my boobs have now gone awol ? and yet still I have wobbly thighs and a bit of a tummy. Can you turn it around so that it's her wellbeing you're concerned about - e.g. I really don't want you to feel under any pressure right up to the wedding, I'll need you to help keep my feet on the floor so I don't want to land that on you as well as you worrying about fitting a dress. If you buy the size that fits you now we'll be able to get it altered if you lose loads.

Also dresses are murderously difficult to let out but not half as bad to take in (not to mention how great it is to go to the seamstress because the dress is too big rather too small).

I think lisaloulou had the good idea of telling her that you dont want her to feel pressured to loose the weight and as the other ladies have said, its always better to have it to big and taken in, you can tell her that it will make it the perfect fit for her when its been altered!

there is of course the uber sneaky option of agreeing to order one in the smaller size, but order one in her size! ?

I would say that I was speaking to a dressmaker about alterations and she inquired about whether you need BM dresses done. Then just say that they said to buy the dress as fits now as you know the length will be definately right, and that theydressmakers prefer more to work with when taking a dress in!!

I had this too but my bridesmaid wanted a size 12 when she was a 16. Now I bought my dresses with 22 months to go because they were a bargain.

3 months ago she's now a size 18 and still says I can get down to a 12. I lost all faith in her losing weight and was stuck between waiting til the day and being one bridesmaid down or buying her a different size if I could find one.

My bm dresses are from catalogue so no longer available so I scoured ebay and found a size 18 and bought it for a bargain £30. (not that much of a bargain really as I now have one dress too many) I didn't tell her until I bought it. When I did I explained the sizes are lil small and I'd prefer for her to have a dress that fitted perfect. But she still complained to OH(her brother) that she was upset she wasn't asked first.

The size 18 fits fine now and she still hasn't lost anymore weight anyway. I still can't believe she thought she could go down 3 dress sizes in just over a year.

I say good luck, ask her if she would prefer you to get her current size then have it altered. Then at least she'll have a perfect fitting dress. or just order her a size bigger and don't tell her. If she finds out just say they must have sent the wrong one and now its too late to change

Thanks for all the replies guys!

She's already bought the dress and its arrived today. i think i'm going to buy her the dress in the size she is now, and then if she doesn't slim into the one she bought I can produce it. I hope it doesn't come to that though, it would kinda show I don't have any faith in her...

Keeley

I think thats a good idea - then nearer the time if she hasn't lost weight you can play the nice friend, say that you know how hard it is to loose weight and that you are insisting on taking the preassure from her and ordering a new dress - she doesnt need to know its been in your wardrobe all along.