Bridesmaid dresses.

My bridesmaid/MOH (only having one!) is paying for her own but she is literally allowed to pick whatever she wants. Makes it easier that she doesn't have any other bridesmaids to match in with.

View quoted message Yeah see this is my worry! I have 4 and they all need to match. My question to my family was yes but can I say you have to wear this dress and then expect them to pay for it.. They seem to think yes and that’s how it works but I don’t know, seems off to me lol x

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I think its fairly normal for bridesmaids to pay for their own (hence all the jokes about how being a bridesmaid costs so much!) but if you're worried about it maybe just have a chat with them about whether they'd be open to paying for their own? That'll raise any issues straight off the bat.

They'll probably be fine with it and you can always have them in different styles but the same fabric/colour so they get some element of choice?

View quoted message Yeah you’re absolutely right! I think I’m just overthinking it. I know I wouldn’t be bothered about buying my own dress etc in someone else’s wedding. One of my bridesmaids actually asked me to be her MOH, so at least I can repay the favour after my wedding for hers haha. I’ll have to speak to them, there’s plenty of time to save too x

I have always thought you pay for bridal party outfits especially if you want to stipulate the dress/suit they are to wear. I have 2 adult and 4 child BM's and have paid for their dresses and shoes for little ones as I picked the ones I wanted them to wear, thankfully they all love them! The older ones I have said as long as shoes are silver, closed toe and low heel they can wear their own, which they were fine with as they have comfy ones they would like to wear and as the dresses are floor length they wont be seen. We have also bought the suits for the grooms men.

I don't see an issue in asking them to pay or contribute, have the conversation and see what they say, but if you are specific on the dress you want them to wear and it is a bit more expensive then I think it is reasonable if they say no to paying if it is not a dress they would wear again. You could always say you will pay but you will take them back and maybe try selling on? There is no right or wrong, and if your budget is tight it is a massive cost so if you can get them to help someway that is good, as you also need to consider the hair and make up costs and gifts for them so soon adds up. All in for our 6 BM and 2 groomsmen it has come to about £800 for all of the above. You can only ask and go from there, good luck

View quoted message Thank you! Yeah I thought the same. We weren’t buying the groomsmen, my 2 brothers said they’d buy their own if my fiancé chooses the look and so did my fiancé’s best man so that was always sorted. 2 of my bridesmaids are my sister and niece and both my mum and brother said they’ll buy whatever I choose (I said the max I’d have paid and they agreed that works for them too) and just spoken to my sister in law who’s my MOH and she said she’ll buy hers too if I choose what I want them to wear, so that’s amazing. Just one more to speak to lol.
I have my 3 younger nieces as my flower girls and I’ve said I’ll buy their shoes and dresses still so maybe I was overthinking it seem as they have all been fine with it so easily haha. X

It's always been traditional in the UK that the bride pays for the bridesmaid's dresses if she is specifying what they wear. If she is allowing them to pick their own dresses/shoes within certain parameters (e.g. you can wear any knee length pastel dress or you can wear any floor-length dress in this material) then the bridesmaids pay.

I think the expectation that the bridesmaids pay has perhaps come over from the US, where it is common for the bride to dictate an exact 'look' but still expect the bridesmaids to pay for it.

Now that things are less clear, whichever you decide, I think it would be wise to make sure your bridesmaids are clearly informed (ideally, before they commit to the role if you are asking them to pay!) For what it's worth, I personally would feel uncomfortable with expecting my friends to pay for a dress/shoes/hairstyle that they may hate, so I'd pay unless I were allowing them free reign.

View quoted message Thank you, I wasn’t sure on the tradition. I think we’ve settled on them paying, they’ve all loved any dresses we’ve spoken about and browsed anyway so I’m not concerned with that, I’m lucky in that sense though that we all have the same style, I’d never make them wear anything they don’t like though even with me paying and they know that. I’m just waiting to hear back from one of my bridesmaids about it now. I’m just concerned about making sure everyone’s happy. It would be the most fair thing to do seen as the groomsmen already told us they’d buy/rent their own if my fiancé chooses them, which is where this conversation stemmed from really. X

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Haha, maybe you were overthinking, but is good that you have had the chat and they are all on board with it, am glad you have it sorted, worse case you have to pay for the one but if you say everyone else is buying their own am sure they will be fine with it. Good luck with the shopping! X

View quoted message Haha I definitely was! My 4th bridesmaid got back in touch saying “yes of course babe, I’m happy with that!”.. so yes I was definitely panicking for nothing it seems. I like how it’s all fair now across the bridesmaids and groomsmen too, so that’s nice.
Ahh weight lifted! Thank you so much, I think I’ll need it haha x

View quoted message Yay! That's great news. Just keep your cool and as hard as it is, try not to please others, it is your day and you need to have what you want x

View quoted message Thank you, you’re absolutely right! Never knew wedding planning would be so stressful haha x

I would have said definitely the bride, I wouldn’t expect them to pay for a dress I have pretty much chosen. If they are choosing the dress I think it’s ok if they pay however.

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Yeah I was thinking the same but like my Bridesmaid said, even when bridesmaids pay, the bride picks a colour and style that’s matches their wedding, it’s basically chosen anyway and she’d want me be to be happy with the dress, just like if I was paying and choosing, I’d want them to be happy with it too so we’d be picking together all the same regardless of the paying situation
And she’s absolutely right, I was just overthinking it lol. X

I believe the etiquette is that you as the bride pay for the bridesmaids dresses, this is what has happened both times I’ve been a BM, I bought my own shoes both times but was able to choose what I wanted as they weren’t really visible as dresses were floor length. I have one adult MOH (my sis) and four younger BMs (hers and my children) plus a page boy.

View quoted message Yes apparently that is the norm, I think it’s changing now though to just what works best for each bride/couple. Me and mine are sorted now with no issues, I think it helps that I help everyone out so no one begrudges helping me out in return when asked haha. plus I’ve already said I don’t want a hen do so I’m not as expensive as the typical bride for her bridesmaids anyway, maybe that helped too haha. That’s lovely that you’ll have your sister, nieces and children as your party, bet they’re all excited. My 3 younger nieces are my flower girls and they’re already asking me weekly about their “pretty shoes and dresses” very cute x

Hi Daniella. This is certainly a tricky one. Personally, I am paying for our bridesmaid's dresses although it's not the traditional thing to do as I explain in my bridesmaid dress article here.

I think it does depend on whether you are buying them anything else, like treating them to their makeup and/or hair, and also what you expect from your bridesmaids on the day.

It's a nice touch, but I wouldn't say it's mandatory!

View quoted message Yes absolutely, my bridesmaids are happy so that all I was fussed about. To be honest I’m not actually expecting anything from them, I just want them to know they’re important to me and that’s why they’re chosen to be a featured part of my day, they haven’t got any responsibilities, they don’t have to throw me a hen do (I don’t want one) they don’t have travel with me to go dress shopping if they don’t want to, I have hired people through my venue to make everything run smoothly on the day so they don’t actually have anything to do throughout this whole process. The more I think about it, I realise they’d have bought brand new outfits for it as standard wedding guests for the same price so it doesn’t really matter all that much haha x

Personally for me I wouldnt expect the bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses. If someone asked me to be a bridesmaid and asked me to pay, I'm not sure how I would feel about it but I would pay if that's what they wanted. I paid for my bridesmaids stuff and my partner paid for the grooms men.
I paid for hair and makeup as I wanted them all to have the same hairstyle and wanted them all to have their makeup done and then bought them some Jewellery/hair pieces as I wanted them to be matching also.
Tbh, I think it is just personal choice these days. We didn't have a traditional wedding so I think just do what you feels right.

View quoted message Thank you, yeah absolutely each to their own. I was worrying too much to be honest. Thankfully all sorted now. X

I’m paying for dresses, hair and make up but equally I know brides who have out X amount towards their bridesmaids dresses.


Someone said to me today about paying for bridesmaids dress alternations which I’m definitely not gonna do !

View quoted message Yeah no it’s always 100% down to them for alterations! X

I paid for my bridesmaid dresses (only have 2) but gave them a budget of £100 each. If they found a dress that was more they would contribute the additional amount.

I paid for my bridesmaids dresses and they are paying for hair and makeup as I don't have a specific style in mind so if they fancy a professional doing it then they can!

I am paying for mine..and I have 10..i think if im asking them thats the least I can do and they are doing their own make up and buying their shoes but up to you x

View quoted message I mean to be fair, they’re getting free alcohol at the wedding, I’m paying for the hotel the night before at my venue too for us all, add in the fact they’d pay roughly the same amount on an outfit etc as a regular guest they’re actually saving money being my bridesmaids 😂. The more I think about it the more I don’t really see why I was so unsure about wether it’s okay for them to pay for their dress. Its swings and roundabouts to be honest x

View quoted message At least by asking the question you have come to your own conclusion which is good. We all have different views on these things and you have to do what's right for you, I've been a bridesmaid 7 times and never paid so maybe thats why I feel I should I guess but totally up to you, hope you have a good wedding x

I am paying for my 5 bridesmaids dresses, hair & makeup.
They are to buy thier own shoes, bags and accessories.
I asked them to be my bridesmaids so only right i pay. Xx

I’m paying for all my girls out fits don’t think it right they should be out of pocket being part of my day

Hey, Everyone has a different opinion regarding this. I am paying for the bridesmaid's dress. But is not the right way to do so as explained here .

Generally, Bridemaid pays for his own dress and this allows them to choose whatever dress she wants to wear.

I always thought it was traditional in the UK for the bride to pay for bridesmaid dresses. I am paying for all 4 of my bridesmaids dresses, i want them all matching so i get to choose their dresses. I have paid for there hair & make-up too. Just asked them to buy thier own jewellrey, shoes, bag etc x

I have my 2 daughter (adults) as bridesmaids and my aunt as maid of honour. I said I would pay for the dresses and they could choose whatever style the wanted as long as they were grey/silver.
The response was you are not paying we will pay for our dresses lol.I would have the conversation them and see what they say x