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Yorkshirelass
Expert July 2022 Surrey

Bridesmaids before or after the bride?

Yorkshirelass, 5 April 2022 at 15:20 Posted on Planning 0 16
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Just wondered what your plans are ladies and gents? I know in the UK the BMs follow the bride as traditionally they were behind her to carry the train in the old days. However I've watched so much Say Yes to The Dress and the BMS are all walking down first, what is all that about and what are you planning?!

16 replies

Latest activity by Bliss, 9 April 2022 at 22:53
  • T
    Rockstar May 2022 Oxfordshire
    Tamsin ·
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    I’m sending mine down the aisle before me. They will get to the alter then I will set off, so that everyone will have a clear view of me as I walk down the aisle (it’s all about me! Haha).
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  • Sarah
    Rockstar June 2023 Worcestershire
    Sarah ·
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    I am having mine and my nephew go down before me as my nephew who will be holding my MOH hand is holding a sign saying 'Clear the aisle here comes my auntie' and it wouldn't make sense if they came after me. Smiley love

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  • Jane
    Dedicated June 2022 Bristol
    Jane ·
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    Im sending my nieces down first as well - I like the idea of them building it up! Also my dress doesn’t have a massive train and I’m sure I can find someone to make sure the back looks just right before my dad and I set off!
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  • PhotographybyBillHaddon
    Super January 3000 Leicestershire
    PhotographybyBillHaddon Online ·
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    Most Church weddings the BMs follow the Bride and almost all civil wedding ceremonies the bride go's after them.

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  • Charlotte
    VIP April 2022 Wiltshire
    Charlotte ·
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    I am doing it the American way, we have a short aisle and logistically it would be to busy and like Tamsin said, there won't be a clear view of me? . In honesty I think it is one of those things people see as a tradition but really makes no odds! You do what you want x
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  • Sophie
    Savvy November 2023 Derbyshire
    Sophie ·
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    I'm having my bridesmaids go down first so that they get their moment before I get mine.

    I've been a bridesmaid twice and have done it each way, when I went down after the bride I sorted her dress but then couldn't get to my seat because of where she was stood so I had to walk in front of her and the groom which I really didn't like. When we went first it was much better but that could just be because the church was a different set up.

    I say do what you want with this one Smiley smile

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  • Michelle
    VIP July 2023 Cheshire
    Michelle Online ·
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    My daughter is my bridesmaid she will be walking next to me one side and my boys the other but i would do what feels right for you sorry im not much help x💗
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  • L
    Dedicated June 2019
    LuxuriousPurpleBridesmaid73066 ·
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    My bridesmaids went after me and I had a church wedding. My sister in law had her bridesmaids go down the aisle before her and she and my brother had a civil ceremony.
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  • Chloe
    Expert July 2023 Cornwall
    Chloe ·
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    Mine are going down first as well! I'm just going to task the MOH to fluff my train out when I get to the end of the aisle so it still looks good haha

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  • Yorkshirelass
    Expert July 2022 Surrey
    Yorkshirelass ·
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    It is a civil ceremony so not in a church as I don’t believe in God and I didn’t want to be hypocritical! It sounds like the majority are going with BMs first. I bet my mum will be surprised if we do this as she is more traditional but I’m going to bring it up and discuss with her and also see how big the aisle will be at the venue visit in May. Exciting times!
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  • Sinéad
    Dedicated October 2022 Cork
    Sinéad ·
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    Hey,


    My bridesmaids will enter before me and my dad.The page boys and flower girls will be before the bridesmaids.I've been a bridesmaid twice and both time I was before the bride 🙂
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  • Chloe
    Expert July 2023 Cornwall
    Chloe ·
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    I'm definitely having my bridesmaid's before me. The only one I'm debating is my MOH, apparently they traditionally carry the train, so I might do a test run and see if it feels like I need him behind me...! Otherwise everyone in front and I'll just make sure one of them fluffs my train out when I get to the end!

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  • PhotographybyBillHaddon
    Super January 3000 Leicestershire
    PhotographybyBillHaddon Online ·
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    In a non Church situation I am struggling to think if I have ever seen a bride go down the isle before the bridesmaids go down.

    In a Church wedding I would say that 80% of the time the bride will go down first then followed by the bridesmaids.

    Another note on a Church wedding is that there never seems to be much of a gap between the bride going down and the bridesmaids -- maybe half an isle length at most.

    But in a civil ceremony their can be any amount of gap after the bridesmaids have fully walked the isle - sometimes its an extra time gap to coincide with a section of music.

    In over 1000 weddings photographed I have never seen the bridesmaids carry the train down the isle apart from occasionally maybe a flowergirl and page boy. (and that's if they don't drop it and run off back Smiley xd )

    But it is a good idea to give someone the task of quickly laying out your dress when at the top of the isle.

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  • R
    Super July 2020 Monmouthshire
    RomanticGreenStationery27135 ·
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    View quoted message

    Might be better to have the BMs go down first in a civil ceremony. I don't know if this is the reason they go first at a civil venue and last at a church, but in a church, there is usually a lot more space at the front of the church for them to get out of the way, and in a civil ceremony, there tends to be less room, so if they go first, they are out of the way before you arrive.

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  • Yorkshirelass
    Expert July 2022 Surrey
    Yorkshirelass ·
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    Thank you so much for all the feedback. I hadn’t really given it much thought until recently now that the day is 3 months away things were getting more real! I don’t have a long dress so it won’t need fluffing out as some have suggested. I am wearing a tea length dress so won’t take up too much room either!
    I have more info for discussion with my mum now. I don’t think my FH will be bothered either way! Mum might be surprised though as she won’t have thought about this option I just know it.
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  • Bliss
    Savvy October 2022 West Sussex
    Bliss ·
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    My bridesmaids will be walking before me to build the suspense for my arrival and also gives me a few minutes with my dad ☺️
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