Bridesmaidzilla.... Advice Please...

I think you've hit the nail on the head there. She sounds a bit of a nightmare to be honest. Maybe she's just nervous about the attention with being your only bridesmaid but she needs to realise that the day is about YOU and your new husband, not her. I wouldn't back down tbh, even if it means possibly losing her as a bridesmaid.

Oh my god, to put it lightly she sounds awful! Shes meant to be a good friend of yours and she is acting like this?!

I think if it wasnt so close to the wedding I would have deffo said you should make her step down as BM but maybe it might be best just having a word with her and telling her how you feel. If she really is a friend then she should listen and start being more reasonable. You dont want her ruining this for you by continuing as she is but I think it might cause more of a fuss if you just tell her to step down.

I dont envy your situation ☹️

Thank you ladies!

It really is one of those 'cant win' situations and Beckstar, you are so right that weddings turn some people into monsters!

I appreciate your kind words and advice - thanks again!

xx

Hi Blueberry H, sorry to hear you are having trouble with your bridesmaid-she sounds like a nightmare! I too have had some trouble with one of mine. When we got engaged we decided to go with May 19th next year for our wedding and had provisionally booked the venue and when I was telling her about it she said oh, as long as it's not the 19th that's fine so i said, how come not on the 19th and she said it was her mum's birthday! Anyway, went back to OH and we spoke about it at great length and decided to move the date-checked with venue and they could do the Sat before or the Sat after so we swapped it to the Sat after. We then went to see our priest and he couldn't do the Sat after as already had another wedding! Rung bridesmaid and she kicked right off and threw such a tantrum and basically said she wouldn't be able to come-I tried to think of other ways round it such as her come to the daytime then she could still do something in the evening with her mum and her reply to this was; what like rent-a-bridesmaid, i don't think so!

To cut a long story short, when my other bridesmaid got back from her hol had a long chat with her and she said sod her, book the date you want and if she doesn't come that's her loss! So went ahead and booked the original date of the 19th! She spoke to her mum and her mum told her not to be so bloody silly and that they could do something for her bitrthday the weekend before or after!

Anyway, thought it was all ok now and 2 weeks ago she anounces she is pregnant (due 3 months before the wedding). Wouldn't mind but my other bridesmaid is also pregnant-due in 6 weeks-so not sure when I am meant to go shopping for their dresses now!

Bloody nightmare! ?

Hi Freckles,

Wow - I thought I had bother with mine! I cant understand why it is that usually wonderful, supportive friends do this at the most important time of our lives. I think you went above and beyond to accommodate her and at least her mum showed some common sense it it all.

Update on my bridesmaid - I asked her not to be bridesmaid given thet she felt 'dictated' to (because I chose the dress, colour, her jewellery etc (which was her bridesmaids gift!!)), and after a multitude of other things she wasn't happy about over the course of the planning of this wedding, I said as she felt this way it may be better for her to not take on the role. Also said that I didnt want to be worried on the day over what else she was not happy about - her face through wedding fairs and dress fittings etc has been akin to a smacked bottom!

I really hope yours pans out well re the dresses etc etc...please keep in touch and let me know!

K x

Im glad you stood your ground! Their really is sthing about weddings & the people you always 'thought' you could rely on!

I hope the run up will be relatively stress free now ?

Sounds like you did the best thing, how did she take it?

Hi dollyrockerz,

well she doesn't see that she's done anything wrong! even though we've only communicated via email and text, from her last email I think she thinks she's still 'got the job'!! My other friend has kindly stepped in to be my witness/bridesmaid, and the dress has been altered to fit her so I think Bridesmaidzilla is in for a bit of a surprise! Seriously though, I have explained a dozen times why I was so upset and she really cant see why, in her eyes it was all my fault...age old story between me and her, she's a master manipulator and it normally works...not on this occasion though...

will keep you posted on the outcome on the day!

BHx

Hi all

Sorry to hear about how people change and cause hassle when you're already stressed. Hope you get things sorted.

Upon reading all the negative comments regarding bridesmaids I've decided I'm not having any. We are thinking of booking a hotel for the ceremony and the reception so would it be ok to not have any? Or would it be weird????

Thanks

Hi Blueberry!

Sounds like you've had a nightmare, glad you stood your ground there and got it sorted! It's been well documented on here that I had huge issues with 2 bridesmaids who I'd been friends with for 14 and 11 years and as I result I don't speak to either of them now. My wedding planning really showed me who I could count on and who my real friends were!

Manda - I think it depends really on how big a day you're having and who else will be around to support you, especially on the morning. Although 2 of my planned bridesmaids were horrendous, the other 2 who did stick by me were such a tower of strength and without them I would have been lost. I only found out recently that on the morning of the wedding there were problems in the venue with setting the room up - one of my bridesmaids took it upon herself to make sure everything got sorted in good time and also made damn sure I didn't know a thing about it! I only found out when my mum mentioned it. I think if you choose the right people they are absolutely invaluable! Having said that, if it's quite a small or low key affair, maybe you won't need that - it's your wedding so entirely up to you!

OMG! I can not believe some of the stories I have read here today about bridesmaids! Who do these people think they are? I am so grateful to my girls now for what they have done to support me and the only request I have had is one girl asked if she could please have a clip rather than a head band but that's only because they squash her big head :-) No comments on colours, dresses etc. They wouldn't dare! My day, my way! :-)

Hi Blueberry! Glad to see you had the courage to stand up to your nightmare BM. Have been seriously thinking about telling my one that I would rather she didn't be bridesmaid but I have a feeling that it will cause a massive row and I really can't be doing with it! Plus, don't want her to think I'm demoting her just cos she's pregnant-it has nothing to do with that and more to do with her being a bloody pain in the arse!!! ☹️