Did your OH /you go to a strip club/Is he going to one on his stag do!?!

My OH almost certainly would like to but he is under 21 so he wouldnt get into our local one. I wouldnt really mind what he got up to as long as I didnt know until afterwards so I dont worry about him.

My OH didn't have a choice. All his mates were taken to strip clubs and were bought dances at their stag and he wasn't allowed to escape. Personally i don't care. It's not like he's there every week or anything and I'm secure enough that I don't feel threatened by it so that's fine. All the stag night crew looked like little boys admitting to being naughty when they saw me and told me they'd been though - it was very funny!

Im not sure what hes doing for the stag - im not sure I would want him going to one - the girls in the local ones are all skanks (I wnt to school with most ofthem GRR) and I dont really fancy them giving him a show... but I cant stop him

I remember that one of my colleagues' now husband went to one on his stag and then slept with her the same night....MY collegue STILL married him...after he slept with a stripper on his stag!

I dont care how much my wedding cost if he had done that to me I wouldnt have married him lol.

My oh isn't having a stag do, he didn't want one. Just like i don't want a hen do. We're spending the night before the wedding with a couple of close friends and takeaway :0

He's also shown no interest in a strip club or the likes. *phew!* because i may just have to break his legs if he did hehe xx

My OH wants to go to Amsterdam on his stag, he's not interested in the exploited women over there, but it wouldn't bother me if he went to a strip club. I'm more than comfortable knowing that he's marrying me because he loves me and trust him completely - Wouldn't be marrying him else!

I would be really upset if my OH went to a strip club because he knows I am against them (so many take advantage of women and there's been research done that showed an increase in rape in towns where a strip club had recently opened).

I don't know how women can be so cool about their OH's doing this - you wouldn't tolerate any other woman gyrating half-naked on your OH, so why is it ok when she is being paid to do it?

I tend to agree with sapphire! It would bother me to think of OH ogling naked women - maybe I am really old-fashioned but in my view in a committed relationship you should only have eyes for each other! Why is it OK just because in a few weeks he will be getting married?

My oh went on a stag last year and before he went he was determined he was not going to go to a strip club if others did...of course he got drunk and stumbled in along with them, as I expected. I wasn't overly impressed with it tbh, and OH seemed quite ashamed - he said that none of his mates really had much good to say when they were next all sober. Maybe its different for different types of men?

According to OH the groom was dragged in and handcuffed and had a sort of lesbian show performed on him...apparently he looked terrified throughout! The groom to be had dreaded it all night, and I think my OH is kinda scarred from watching his friend - and is deliberately picking a best man who he knows won't enforce anything like that! I will want something fun but not sure about male strippers and stuff....guess it will be up to my bridesman (or bridesgay as he is now referring to himself!!)

Besides my own personal opinion regarding me and OH, in general terms I guess I don't like the idea of blokes paying to perve on a woman, it seems v different and so much more seedy compared to the sort of fun, cheesy 'chippendale' type things on offer to women (not that I am saying that's OK either). I used to know someone who did lap-dancing and even in the day time those places are not nice no matter how 'high class'.

My OH wont be going to one, he doesnt like them at all. He says he doesnt like feeling like a walking wallet!

And ewwwwwwwwww I will not be going anywhere near strippers on my hen. I could think of nothing worse!

Is he going for the cafes? ?

Yeah and wants to take our Dads with him - Hmm!

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My OH doesn't seem interested in going to a strip club and i don't thinks its really his or his mates type of thing. I dont mind if he does go to one but i think if his friend really want to embarrass him they should get him a female stripper to turn up while their in a pub or something.... I think i would prefer that to him going to a club as its done in a more 'fun' way rather than being sexual. Although I love the idea of admiring a male stripper I wouldn't want one myself.... i dont like being the centre of attention.

One of my brothers got married last year and he got taken to a strip club and he said that it was 'nasty'. He's not against appreciating a sexy woman but from what he saw, it was all a little bit skanky!

Mine just had his stag do...I emailed the best man before hand and said to him I didnt mind if he wanted to get a stripper etc.

He emailed back sayings its not his or OH's type of thing....Awwwww

They got all dressed up and went to a medevil banquet.

They didnt even get as wasted as they used to in their youth...think he was expecting it to be like it used to be when they all went to colledge together. But they were all back home and watching a movie by 1230 lol

My man thinks he's getting old at 28

I didnt.. I love my wife, and dont need to see any other women get their bits out.. Seedy

^^^very sweet.

can you imagine how these men would feel if their girlfriends said 'ok darling, I'm just off to my hen night now. My CBM has organised strippers for me, so I will probably spend the evening having a nearly naked, very good looking man thrusting his c*ck into my face before I rub oil into his bum cheeks and lick whipped cream off his six-pack. But its all good fun. See you later.'

My OH would be furious!!!

I have been in tears many a time over those places. My ex went to one for his stag do despite me asking him and his sorta BM not to go. I know that OH has been to them twice while we've been together - once on a friend's stag do and once in Prague on a lad's holiday - and he said he didn't want to go but kinda had to because the others did.

It frustrates me that he probably will be dragged there on his stag and I can't do anything about it. I wouldn't make a big deal out of it like I did with my ex because our relationship is different. I trust him completely and know he wouldn't cheat on me but I just don't like the idea of him looking at half naked girls. A cheeky glance at a pretty girl in a club is fine, but paying for someone to do something like that? I just don't understand it. I honestly wouldn't want to do the same and if my CBM gets me a stripper I'll just die!

Its not about being sweet, it is about really understanding what marriage is about, and respecting your OH, and yourself

I just can't get hung up about it. He would have had no issue if I'd had a stripper, I didn't, but that's fine. It's part of the stag to lots of folk and I would never make OH feel bad about being there. He didn't really want to go but I wouldn't make him duck out if everyone else was going especially if it's on a stag night. he would feel awful if he had to do that. I really don't mind that he saw boobs that weren't mine, it's mine he comes home to every night.

As to the money - he didn't spend a penny on his stag, his mates did. I think for his group of friends a lot of it is about making the stag uncomfortable and sticking to the 'tradition' of previous stag do's within the group.

I also know that some of these places are indeed dodgy. But many of the modern, well regulated and appropriately licensed clubs allow these girls to make a fortune to take money from blokes who can't even touch them. if they choose to do that, and are in no way forced into it, then I say go for it.

I think earlier someone mentioned that a Stag slept with a stripper - well, in my view he would have cheated elsewhere if he hadn't been at the club so it's not the strippers fault. If someone wants to sleep around they will do it no matter what environment they find themselves in.

I may change my view about the above if:

a) He started going every weekend

b) He slept with a stripper he met there

But I don't think he will.

I think you've got a point Becci. You're not saying you agree with them but you're accepting that it's a stag tradition for some guys

I really don't like the idea of OH looking at someone else's boobs, especially for money, but I think a lot of that is because I don't have big boobs ☹️

I understand that OH would never make the decision to go to a club by himself, and that it's peer pressure. I just wish the tradition was different!

Ditto that NurseBride2B. I'm trying very hard not to think about the stag do until I have to...

I'd prefer it if they didn't go to one, but I don't get a choice in the matter so I'm resigned to the fact that they probably will... Sigh...

And as for me having a stripper at my hen, I'd be thoroughly embarassed! Its all very entertaining when they're grinding in someone else's face but wouldn't want it to be mine hehe.

You've pretty much hit the nail on the head. I have tiny boobs too - but remember that your OH loves you exactly as you are which is why he is marrying you. He will see boobs on telly and in movies and in magazines of all shapes and sizes. You are hard pressed to avoid them. He'll be coming home to you after. I understand why you find it tough thought. xx

No no no. im totally against them so he wouldnt dare go. iv got quite low confidence in myself, mainly because iv been cheated on a lot in my past so i know he wouldnt do this to upset me.

we have both agreed we are having a joint party anyway.

they say its you last nite of freedom...we dont want to think of it like that. just a pre wedding celebration

I don't know if he's going to go to one but he knows how absolutely tragic I find them, so it's down to him, I guess. I have absolutely no worries about him looking at other girls, insecurities about myself or the thought that he might put a pound (fiver?) down someone's knickers. I feel that strip clubs are the "acceptable" face of a sex industry that does nothing but cheapen women in society and expose them to danger. A sterile brand-name club full of stag do's on a Saturday night is in no way representative of "Jackie's Gentleman's Club" (entrance at rear) but it does support the existence and social acceptability of the latter. And as if the former was any better in ideological terms. Maybe the girls don't get grappled as much, maybe they get free dental, I don't know, but they are the product of a society who nurture our 16 year olds to aspire to glamour modelling instead of university. And still the girls think they are the ones doing the exploiting?

But he'll probably still go anyway. He imagines they are all paying their way through law degrees or something ?

Think I'm pretty much with you on this Becci - I know he has been to them on some of his friend's stag do's, as the whole group were going and it was mostly to make the stag feel uncomfortable. He was quite open about it, as he knows that I know he would never do anything dodgy, and I also know he doesn't like the places - he has told me about them mostly as he was complaining about the fact he would rather have not gone, and what horrible, seedy places they were.

Have to agreee that if someone is going to cheat, they will do that regardless of the environemnt they are in, and just because someone goes to a strip club on a stag do as it's some sort of "tradition", doesn't mean they are going to cheat on you.

I think the OP also asked about having strippers on hen do's - I personally can think of nothing I would find more cringeworthy, and fortunately my BM knows this and would never dream of inflicting that on me.

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I have nothing against my h2b going to strip clubs on his stag do or anyone else's stag do. He recently went on one where they went into strip clubs and the stag didn't tell his bride to be because she was against them. I would want h2b to open and honest with me and not hide things from me! x

Im not keen on him going, in fact can imagine i would be quite upset about it. I think that if your happy with what u have why do u need to go and watch half naken women and have them grind all over you.

I would never ever have a stripper its makes me wanna ouke at the thought of it

Maybe i just a but prim and proper

I'm going to 'Dream Boys' - strip show, caberet, comedy, but its all on stage as I'd absolutely hate them dancing naked around me! I wasnt originally going to do anything like that but then I saw the website, and thought why not, as its something I would never normally do, it will be a giggle with the girls and make for a memorable night!

I think the less I know about the stag do lol the better as guys can b so disgusting sometimes, made the mistake of looking through his BM's stag photos and found BM passed out naked, yuk! He is not planning any strip clubs, said why pay when you can get it for free and he's even worked on the door in a strip club, so seen it all before. I dont really like it, incase he then wishes I looked like them, but he has chosen to marry me and it must be for a reason! I would get jealous but only cos I don't have their bodies lol. I dont think he would plan to go to one but I wouldnt be surprised if others pay for it for him!

I'm in a very similar boat to you Nurse Bride. OH's has been to strip clubs on a few stag do's & he has had dances in the past. Since I've been with him I have made it known that I find it extremely disresptful to me that he might want another girl to wave her boobs & lady garden in face & rub herself against him. Trouble is being RAF he is likely to be pressured into going to a strip club whatever I feel about it as the RAF lads are very much into 'work hard party harder'. I have told him that if he goes in one on his stag there will be no wedding & I will make it plane to his Best Man that he will be effectively cancelling the wedding if he plans a strip club for my OH. I might sound like an old battle axe but the thought of my OH having another girl draping herself over him (even if it's paid for by his mates) makes me feel physically sick.

Oh Panda and NurseBride (I must know your real names, is ridiculous referring to you like my kids toys!) I just want to give you both a big hug. I hope your OHs know how much you dont like the grippers I really do. Its just not worth the upset.

As I said My OH doesn't like them and I'd love to see his friends attempt to drag him to one! He'd rather go watch the bikes and dribble over them. I'm not as uncomfortable as some with strippers but if I think too hard about some girl flaunting herself in front of MY man then grrrrrrrrrrr. I can get a bit cross really.

As Lynnie said, if OH wants a show I will give him a show!

MrMini would actually die if he was taken there I think! I am actually encouraging his BM to take him as it would be worth it to hear how awkward he felt.

I know strip clubs arnt very PC and as a feminist I should be dead against them but I just spent 2 hours watching "Take me out" so thats my Greer streak worn down a bit for tonight, If ladies can make a living taking thier clothes off who am I to oppose them? Men will always want to pay to see it...

TBH the last place MrMini will cheat is at a strip club

I have thought about this one,the last time my OH was on a stag do they went to Amsterdam and would have defo went to a strip club but i didn't ask and would rather not know. It's a bit weird in the sense that i am really quite open minded and have been known along with my OH to frequent the coin carousel in Amsterdam (if you know what that means then ? ,years ago now though.

These days i would honestly be quite pissed off but i would either rather not know and i won't ask or if he tells me i might just go to one myself,i have a few bi friends so i am sure they would enjoy lol.