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George
Dedicated July 2023 Kent

Discriminated when going dress shopping

George, 20 of February of 2022 at 23:21 Posted on Wedding Attire 0 7
Basically if you don't know me and my partner (both male) decided to be ourselves at the wedding which involves me wearing a dress and bridal shoes and him wearing a suit and heels and yesterday I went to a bridal shop that I had an appointment at to try snd potentially get my wedding dress for our special day, all was going completely fine as the employee who was seing to me and helping me try on dresses was supper nice, supportive and understanding but whilst I was putting a pair of heels on to see if they look nice with the dress the owner of the boutique walked by and demanded that I immediately take the dress off and leave the shop as the place is for women and that I shouldn't wear a dress as a guy. What should I do about this, should I write a complaint about them? Any advice would be greatly appreciated

7 replies

Latest activity by xkimx007, 21 of February of 2022 at 21:21
  • Louise
    Rockstar March 2022 Devon
    Louise ·
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    Yes definitely write a complaint. You're not a guy taking the piss you're looking for a dress to buy. It may not be something she has experienced before but so what. When you do though I think you should praise the lady who was helping you. Maybe try another shop and speak to them on the phone and explain what you've been through so there's no chance of it happening again. I hope you find the right place.
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  • Charlotte
    VIP April 2022 Wiltshire
    Charlotte ·
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    This makes me so sad and angry. What difference does it make if you are male or female, you shouldn't be defined by gender stereotypes and society's vision of what you are allowed to wear. I agree you should write a letter and call out how amazing the member of staff was and you had felt very comfortable with them and it is disappointing that you were spoken to that way and your custom is now lost. Try and not get emotional, keep to the facts and the issue in hand, this was blatant discrimination and is not acceptable in 2022. As Louise said, call ahead and explain your situation and experiences, I really hope you are able to find a less marrow minded shop who can see past your gender and are able to find the dress and shoes of your dreams for your day

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  • Michelle
    VIP July 2024 Cheshire
    Michelle ·
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    I find this absolutely disgusting you are there to try dresses on male female who cares you are you i would definately make a complaint the country is more diverse now it is a shame that there are still people out there that dont see this dont feel down about it be you dont let this situation put you down go and get the dress you want good luck xx 💗
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  • Anonbride
    Expert July 2023 Cornwall
    Anonbride ·
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    Definitely complain! As it's the owner who was awful, I wouldn't write a letter to the boutique rather I would be posting on google reviews etc - agree with others to praise the lady who helped you as part of this.

    I'm really sorry this happened to you and I hope you find your dream dress at a boutique that deserves to have you as a customer Smiley heart

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  • Melissab
    Dedicated June 2022 Surrey
    Melissab ·
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    Firstly, for what it’s worth I’m sorry you had this experience. As others have said, put a complaint in writing. If it was the owner of the shop who behaved in this way you’ll probably find you won’t even get a response, but you need to point out how wrong their reaction was. Sing the praises of the member of staff who was assisting you. I’d also add that, not only have they lost your custom, but they’ve also lost your recommendation - whether that be to male, female or other. I agree with others on phoning ahead with other shops. I’m sure you’ll find a place not stuck in the dark ages who would love to help you find your perfect dress xx
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  • R
    VIP July 2020 Monmouthshire
    RomanticGreenStationery27135 ·
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    Did you explain to her why you were there?

    It sounds as if she was rude and handled the situation badly, but I'm wondering...

    When I went to try on dresses, apart from the owner, the assistants were all young women, and we had to get fairly 'up close and personal' when they were helping me in to the gowns. Since it's unusual for a man to wear a wedding dress to his wedding, it's possible that she might have thought you were doing it just to engineer that kind of situation with her staff and may have been feeling protective toward them.

    Would you consider emailing her to explain why you were there to see if she responds differently? You may find that, after you left, the assistant explained the situation to her and she is wishing she hadn't responded that way.

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  • xkimx007
    Beginner October 2022 South Yorkshire
    xkimx007 ·
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    Hi George,

    So sorry this happened to you on what should have a been an exciting and memorable (for all the right reasons) occasion.

    There is no place for disregarding and discriminative behaviour and I think you are absolutely right to call it out.

    I think it is worth leaving public reviews to worn other customers and it may also be the only way someone like this will take onboard the impact of their actions and change...when it affects business and therefore their income!

    Hope this situation doesn't repeat itself and you your next appointment is a much happier affair.

    Kim x

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