Divorced parents + top table

My parents are still together so that was the easy bit. OH's parents are divorced so we are having MIL2B and her hubby on the top table and FIL2B and his wife on a separate table with the kids and OH's brothers. It was OH's decision so I've not had any opinion on it.

I think the 'usual' advice is to have actual parents on the top table and step parents can sit elsewhere - there are many variations though, depends on how volatile it could get I suppose!!!

I'm one of the few where both our sets of parents are still happily married to each other, a rarity these days!

Er, yeah I should think that would be awkward. And not very nice for your FFIL. Why doesn't your OH want him on the top table?

Hi,

Both our parents are divorced and have remarried/ new partners, my parents dont get on! We have decided to have me/ OH/ poss our daughter (we might be having a childrens table)our closest friends which are Best Man, Bridesmad, usher and his partner. This way we wont be worrying about the family and if they are OK, we can enjoy ourselves and have a laugh, and the parents can sit with people they like so they can all have a nice time too. I couldn't think of anything worse than forcing them all to sit together, would be a nightmare for me!! lol

(we're having round tables too so will be less formal) hope that helps and makes sense! x

My cousin had this dilemma a few years ago. The way she did it was she had the parents on the top table and she had to round tables at each side of the top table - on one side she had her step- mother on one side with some family and on the other one her husbands step-dad with some family

I don't know if thats any help or not....

Tracey

Sorry just read your second post so mine is prob not very useful! ?

I am having similar issues with my parents and top tables! I did a post about it yesterday..

You have to do what feels right for you as after all it is your day.. I would and have realised you should run this past your parents / OH parents but they should be able to accept your decision..

Personally I won't be putting my divorced parents on the same table - they do really hate eachother still!?

I am not much help really but best of luck!

Hiya, we have divorced and remarried on both sides so our top table could be huge lol! But we have decided to stick to the old fashioned ways but with a twist so will have me and OH in the middle our son sat next to me and my mum and MIL to my right and to the left of my OH will be my father and my FIL. So basically looking at the top table it will be ladies on the left (aside from our little boy) and men on the right. My mums OH will be sat with his family, my dad currently doesn't have an OH, and grooms step mum and step dad will sit with the family tables too if that makes sense!! We did this option cos our mums get on fab but there was talk of jealousy sitting old partners together etc (petty I know but anything to avoid any arguments on the day). Sorry for waffle lol HTH x

Both parents on both sides divorced. Both Dad's remarried, my Mum has a boyfriend and OH Mum on her own.

We are having a round table with our parents on and 2BM's and best man.

My Dad's wife is sitting with my Nan & Grandad (Dad's Mum & Dad), My mum's boyfriend is sitting with my Uncle (Mum's brother) and we're hoping to also put OH's Dad wife on this table with her daughter. If not she will go on my other family table......keep her away from OH's mums family.

Oh forgot to add that divorced parents won't be sitting next to each other as it will go

Me, OH, MOB, FFIL, BM, Best Man, BM, FMIL, FOB...back to me

The thing is though, it can look like you are choosing one parent over the other if you do this. If they don't get on well enough to sit at the same table together for a couple of hours then I can't imagine they would be understanding if one of them was made to sit separately. It is is of course up to you and your OH where you seat people but, if I was asked to sit apart from the top table at my child's wedding (although I would probably agree so as not to cause problems) I would be really hurt. I liked someone else's idea of having a mens' side and a women's side and seating partner's separately - I think that's what I would do if I was in that situation, with the reasoning that bridesmaids and bestmen usually sit separately from their partners during the WB.

Traditionally doesn't the brides mum sit next to the grooms dad and vise versa?

My parents are divorced and this is how we are solving our problem, then step parents on separate round tables.

I'm debating the same issue, OH's parents still together, my dad remarried, mum not, step mum has been more of a mum to me since I was 11, so not fun.

I'm not having bridesmaids/best man on the top table, as they'd have more fun with friends their own age and the chief bridesmaid's OH will not really know anyone.

So I'm going to have to have an uneven top table and probably not going to sit it traditionally but have Dad, Step Mum, Groom, Bride, FIL2B, MIL2B, Mum, that way my mum and step mum are nowhere near each other and my mum will probably manage to talk to my MIL2B.

My mum would be probably be really hurt not to be on the top table and I do want my step mum there with my dad.

Church seating is going to be far more stressful I think.

Well, we are doing what you said you don't want to do... having no parents on our tables- they will host their own.

I dislike my step-dad and do not want him on my table on my wedding day. Out top table will be round, so wherever I sit him, I will have to see his face and hear his stupid tales/inappropriate comments!

The parents will host their own tables and my step dad will be seated with his back to us. He he he he.

Hi my parents are together but OH divorced and his dad remarried it has caused huge issues but this is our plan

FSMIL FFIL MOB OH Me FOB FMIL

I do not want to have step mother in law on her own and i think she should sit with us as she has been a help with the planning, her daughter is one of my BM. MIL does not like SMIL so she has not spoken to other half for about 5 months properly now.

His mum has met my family lots of time so she will be fine sat with my dad.

His mother is threatening not to sit on the top table so will wait for the fun and games!

xx

My mum and dad are divorced, mum is remarried but dad is not. We're putting them all on the top table and they're under strict instructions to be civil. I think our arrangement may go something like:

Best (wo)Man, FIL, MIL, our daughter, H2b, Me, my eldest son, My Dad, My youngest son, My Mum, Step Dad, MoH

My step brother got married last weekend and they decided to put his mum and dad on the top table and seat the step-parents elsewhere. My mum was a little upset at first but on the day said it was no bother at all.

My daughter is getting married this year and her father and I can't stand each other. However, she wants a traditional top table and we're ok with that. We won't actually be sitting next to each other anyway as I will be sitting next to the groom's father as is traditional.

My husband will sit on the table in front of me with my immediate family and our 2 best friends and ex's wife will sit on a table in front of him with her mum and dad, son and daughter etc.

It's only for a couple of hours and if someone's parents really can't get to grips with that for the sake of their daughter/son on their wedding day then I wouldn't even worry about their feelings to be honest.

Both mine and HTB's Parents are divorced and remarried and really hate each other so for are top table we're having:

Best man, 4/5 Bridesmaids, Me and HTB.

We didn't have a top table per se (my parents are divorced). Instead we had a table for 6 with us, best man + his partner and chief bridesmaid + her partner. This was really nice as it felt like we were having dinner with friends and was nice and relaxed.

We got each of our three sets of parents to 'host' a separate table. There wasn't much hosting to be done really but it split them out across the room and meant that we could mix friends and family quite nicely.

This worked really well and I think everyone was happy with the arrangement!

We have a top table of 8 (max) so having...Me, h2b, MOB, FOB, FOG, step MOG, and MOG and best man. Our bridesmaids also have their own families so sitting with them. Best man is h2b's brother so he can sit between MOG and step MOG & FOG so shouldnt be anyone too unhappy.

I was upset that this means our 2 children cant sit at the top table with us but with all the arguments and stress already i'd rather just please everyone else.

My layout will be (apparently this is traditional):

CB FIL2B Mum OH Me Dad MIL2B and Best Man

Keeps his Mum and dad away from each other

Question for you... I am planning on having parents host their tables... this sounds daft, but how do you get them to host? Did you tell them they were hosting their tables???

Hey knitting_vixen,

We didn't really communicate it in such a way, but we placed them reasonably centrally so that they could talk to everyone if they wanted and so that they could feel it was 'their' table in a way.

We did explain to them that we didn't really want a top table and that we were doing things slightly differently, but we actually really kept our seating plan under wraps until the day, as then there was minimal opportunity for anyone to complain ?

Hope that helps ?