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Beginner October 2022 Swansea

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Amber, 19 October, 2021 at 06:56 Posted on Planning 1 12

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Hi everyone! ☺️

Me & my fiancé got engaged in June and very quickly booked my dream venue in July for October 2023. We were so excited but as time is going on I’m having doubts about doing the big expensive wedding and what really matters to me is just marrying him! I feel anxious thinking about the expense and we would like to move after the wedding so really don’t want to be carrying any debt over after the wedding.
I’ve been looking into legally getting married in our local registry office & then doing a blessing where I can wear my dress & him a suit, with friends and family and a celebration. I’ve looked at some outdoor venues for a blessing (we live in Wales) which would be ideal, our original wedding was rustic and very boho so an outdoor woodland blessing sounds dreamy to me! I’d cut down on our numbers to close friends & family, we could then have a meal with some speeches and then have an evening celebration. I’d not have venue flowers, do my own bouquets etc. And honestly the thought of it is making me feel more excited? It’s just about us which is all I want. I feel like our original day is becoming more about everyone else.
Does anyone have any ideas or can share their wedding if you did it on the more intimate/cost effective side? I’d love anything you can share ☺️

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12 replies

Latest activity by Anji, 21 October, 2021 at 18:04

VIP April 2022 Wiltshire
Charlotte · 19 October, 2021 at 08:38
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It is hard, we were not going to do the big wedding, but then decided we would. Recently though I have felt a bit overwhelmed by it all and it is all booked so to change now we would loose a lot of money in deposits. We have cut down our day list to the minimum of 50 the venue require for the meal and then having more people in the evening. If you can get out of contracts without loosing to much then I would say go with your heart, but really weigh up if it is what you really want and wont regret having less people. For us, we are comfortable with cutting the numbers and with what we are now planning. I hope you get to do what you want and feel happy with whatever decision you make
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Beginner October 2022 Swansea
Amber · 19 October, 2021 at 08:43
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Hi Charlotte ☺️

That’s great that you’ve found a compromise! The whole thing is very overwhelming I agree, there are days when I feel like eloping! We’ve paid £1500 so we would lose that if we cancelled which isn’t great but there’s about £28k outstanding with all our suppliers so I could handle losing the deposit to cut that down by a significant amount 😂 We have been looking at an eco retreat with a food truck/bbq which feels very us so I think we’re going to look into it and if it means cost saving but I still get to wear my dress and marry him which is all I really want, I definitely got caught up in the planning 🤦🏼‍♀️Thank you! I think we’re going to sit down and look at what’s important and go from there!
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VIP July 2024 Cheshire
Michelle · 19 October, 2021 at 09:38
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Hi its hard deciding to me all that matters is the people getting married my family want me to have a big wedding i am not doing this so now we dont talk but thats always been my plan for the past 19 years when i met my partner so we have decided to book a holiday with our 3 kids and get married at a registry office while we are there i hope you enjoy the planning remember whats important to you x💗
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Beginner October 2022 Swansea
Amber · 19 October, 2021 at 09:49
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Hi Michelle!

Awww that sounds absolutely perfect! We told our kids we will go to Florida after the wedding so they’re more excited about that than anything else so i’d much rather go simpler on the wedding so the 4 of us can have our dream holiday which is what matters more to us than extended family!Thank you for your advice 🥰 xx
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VIP July 2024 Cheshire
Michelle · 19 October, 2021 at 09:56
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Hi your welcome it is hard when you want somethin different to others we booked our holiday for next year in ceredigion in a little cottage and the next year we will be going again an then getting married there do what is best for you my family are just stubborn but they have never liked my partner so im not bothered what they think taking the kids to to florida sounds perfect hope its everythin you both want not others x💗
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VIP April 2022 Wiltshire
Charlotte · 19 October, 2021 at 10:04
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I think that is the way forward, sit down and work out what YOU BOTH WANT! It is no one elses decision and in my opinion if people get angry or upset over your decision they are not really supporting you, it should be about your wishes. As you say, the main thing is to be honest about what you want and make joint decisions, good luck X
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Genius July 2020 Monmouthshire
RomanticGreenStationery27135 Online · 19 October, 2021 at 14:10
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Sit down and think through the pros and cons for each scenario. As well as considering your super-simple and super-intimate registrar followed by woodland ceremony, and your £28k extravaganza, also maybe consider the possibility of doing something in the middle. Look at the advantages and disadvantages for each one, and then go with what you feel is right for both of you.
I suspect you'll go for the simplest option, since that is what is getting you excited right now. If you do, don't look on it as 'losing £1,500' by cancelling the big wedding. Look at it as saving £28k minus whatever the simple wedding costs!
We went for a small, low key wedding and have no regrets. If it's what you truly want, then go for it.
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Savvy October 2021 Nottinghamshire
Marie · 19 October, 2021 at 14:45
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We are having a wedding with just 6 of us at the council house, I’ve cut off flowers and transport, we all have a new outfit. I didn’t want a big fuss when I booked, the more people have stuck their noses in the more adamant I am to have an intimate ceremony! We are then having a big party at the weekend to celebrate with our friends and family. We have come in under 3k including a night in a hotel and meal for just us, and a 4 night break in Cyprus all inclusive.
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Beginner October 2022 Swansea
Amber · 20 October, 2021 at 08:37
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Thank you all for your replies!! We’ve spent some time talking about it and both agreed all of the extras and fuss isn’t really us and we’d be just as happy to do it more simple. We’ve decided to take our closest family to Chelsea town hall to get married and have a night in London & then have an outdoor/indoor depending on whether celebrant led blessing with our friends and family with a buffet & evening party 🥰 I feel really excited about it and it also means we can do it sooner!
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VIP April 2022 Wiltshire
Charlotte · 20 October, 2021 at 08:58
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So glad you have managed to agree on what you want, it sounds perfect and you are happy with it , which is the main thing x
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VIP July 2024 Cheshire
Michelle · 20 October, 2021 at 11:41
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Glad you managed to work things out x💗
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Beginner June 2022 Greater Manchester
Anji · 21 October, 2021 at 18:04
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Sounds perfect we're doing something similiar - found our perfect ceremony room, so we'll keep that, but everything else will be relaxed and simple - cut out expensive invitations, fancy cars, floral installations and high end catering, and now it's all about the vows and happy photos, followed by great food and drink at a nearby pub.
Like you, we're more excited as the pressure is off.
We suspect many insincere 'backseat drivers' won't bother, which works for us. Ha!
Main costs are: venue, photographer, cake, outfits, flowers, overnight stay. Best of luck xx
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