Dramas and people getting involved!

Sorry you're in this situation!


I found that the least you share with people, the least you try and get involved. I'd say just ignore what his dad is saying, since the guest is entirely up to you. If you can, be a bit firm and explain that you're picking things yourself as it's your wedding, but they can contribute towards the honeymoon if they want.
As for the bridesmaid, just say you're making your nieces your bridesmaids and not having any adults. Hopefully she'll understand.

I found that the least you share with people, the least *they* try and get involved. I'd say just ignore what his dad is saying, since the guest *list* is entirely up to you.

I personally think it’s really rude for someone to ask to be a bridesmaid. I’d just tell her that you’re just having your nieces and no other bridesmaids, keep it nice and simple.


With your fiancé’s dad I think you just need to be really firm and tell him that you’ve already sorted the flowers for the car and then just don’t involve him in any wedding discussions. I’d like to think that people who forcefully involve themselves are doing it with the best of intentions but I think you need to be very clear from the start with who is doing what. It may even be worth coming up with some random job to give him so that he feels involved but from your side it’s not something you care about so it won’t cause you any stress to have him sorting it out.

Asking to be a bridesmaid is so forward, bordering on rude! Are you niece's young? If they are that's a ready made reason- just having children flower girls /bridesmaids only. Or only having family members as the immediate bridal party. I'm not having bridesmaids but will have my niece and nephew to play a role. Not sure nephew (7) will be that keen on page boy duties!!!

Also agree with Ali. Ypur wedding is a née to know only! I only tell people stuff once it's booked. All other questions we give vague answers about still people to see, quotes to check for flowers, food, cake etc etc

I'm another one in favour of telling people the bare minimum. If they ask questions about what you're doing/having/wearing 'we're keeping our wedding details a secret so that it's more exciting for people on the day'. If they ask for an invite for themselves or someone else, 'I'm so sorry, but our guest list is already finalised and due to venue limitations, we can't increase it'. If they offer help, 'thank you so much for your offer, but we're already sorted'. And if they announce they are doing something, then 'misunderstand' them and respond as if it's an offer, not a statement, e.g. tell your FIL 'oh, thank you for offering to organise the flowers, but we've already done that.'

And never give 'reasons' for your decisions - especially financial ones. If you try to turn down an unwanted guest/bridesmaid/caterer etc by saying 'we can't afford it', you're then stuck if the person offers to pay for it themselves!

Rude to think you would ask her but stick to what you want explain to her if she is funny about it then there is nothing else you can do good luck here to listen anytime x💗

Thank you for the advice everyone!


In regards to my partners evil dad (he was violent to my partners mum, so I cannot stand him). My cousin who’s doing the flowers has made a contract and stated that she cannot be involved with any other florists. My partner won’t confront him, so I’ll be doing that unfortunately! His new girlfriend is unfortunately trying to get involved, so I’ve got to tell her in a nice way that she needs to back off. She’s been trying to tell us we have to have matching suits, fresh flowers and top tables. I’m at the point now I don’t care if I upset them, as it’s me and my partners day and no one else’s.

You do what you both want hun not others its your day hope you can get this all sorted and your planning becomes enjoyable again x💗

View quoted message I totally agree. When we booked the wedding my mum wasn't happy that I hadn't asked someone to be bridesmaid and from that moment only me and my H2B know any details about the wedding. Because I just haven't the energy for people's opinions.
Its your day so just be honest with your friend and tell your H2Bs dad you appreciate his offer but you're all sorted x