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NickJ
Beginner

Dwarfs/Dwarves

NickJ, 9 July, 2008 at 18:01

Posted on Off Topic Posts 119

Is it ok to address a dwarf as a dwarf? or is there a more ...acceptable term? Or is dwarf the right one?

Is it ok to address a dwarf as a dwarf? or is there a more ...acceptable term? Or is dwarf the right one?

119 replies

  • H
    Beginner
    Headless Lois ·
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    and actually, I don't suppose it IS very nice, for people to talk about a condition that your son suffers with in the way it has been covered on this thread, in whatever context it has been said. Huge reminders of how the ignorant may refer to him aren't going to make you feel great. It's bleak to be reminded that there are will be people who think that way

    L
    xx

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  • NickJ
    Beginner
    NickJ ·
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    youre absolutely right - it was a crossing posting issue/my not seeing it, and my apologies to JCG.

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  • SophieM
    SophieM ·
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    I'm afraid I didn't read this as "Sorry Sophie, I misunderstood what you were saying." At all. ?

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  • Hecate
    Beginner
    Hecate ·
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    What they said.

    Surely its clearly understandable why JCG feels as she does? Maybe some leeway in acceptance of others' experiences wouldn't go amiss

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  • Zoay
    Beginner September 2013
    Zoay ·
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    What's more important; defending your intellectual right to banter regardless, or being (sorry to be so dull) kind? I know no one has set out to be unkind; but I still find it easy to see why this would upset JCG.

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  • J
    Beginner May 2003
    Janna ·
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    Do you not think the fact that she has a son who suffers from the condition being discussed in a derogatory tone, and you don't, differentiates you slightly?

    PersonallyI find the whole "I don't care about your son xyz" unkind, and this has not been your finest hour, actually Sophie. Sorry to say it, as I think a lot of you on here.

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  • NickJ
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    NickJ ·
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    but it has not been discussed in a derogatory tone. thats is the WHOLE point. sheesh with bells on. why is this so hard for a small number of people to understand? it has been explained multiple times ffs.

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  • SophieM
    SophieM ·
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    But Janna, no one was being derogatory about the condition - I'm amazed that you can't see it. Nick and I have tried to explain over and over again that nothing could be further from the truth than that. We were taking the piss out of the misapprehension that that was the case. My "I don't care..." comment was probably unnecessarily harsh; what I meant was that the details of the condition and JCG's experience of it were totally non-germane to the discussion, because we weren't discussing the condition at all.

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  • H
    Beginner
    Headless Lois ·
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    Hmmm, tbh, I think you are missing the point yourself somewhat

    L
    xx

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  • SophieM
    SophieM ·
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    Can you not see from the above why I am annoyed? JCG has totally missed the point of my posts and also totally ignored my efforts to clarify/explain. Either she’s being obtuse or she is actively seeking to take offence.

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  • NickJ
    Beginner
    NickJ ·
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    Not at all lois. i get it. i just wholly disagree.

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  • J
    Beginner May 2003
    Janna ·
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    I can see it, honestly I can. But I think allowances should be made for JCG when perhaps she can't see it from quite such an even keel. To give her some slack over her reaction would show more empathy to her situation than thinking you should be afforded the same treatment as JCG when it's on a topic that's clearly closer to her heart than any of ours.

    Lack of empathy I think is the point I'm trying to make.

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  • H
    Beginner
    Headless Lois ·
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    Quite. I just don't get it, really

    L
    xx

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  • Foo
    Beginner June 2014
    Foo ·
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    Absolutely wss.

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  • Lumpy Golightly
    Expert February 2003
    Lumpy Golightly ·
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    I'm going to come in (rather late here) partly as a bystander and partly as someone who knows Harrison. I can understand completely why Julie felt as she did when she wrote her responses. In her situation I'd have felt wholly uncomfortable with the oompa loompa comments and the seven dwarves references, but before Harrison was born I'd have been as likely to make them myself. I do have another (adult) friend with the same condition and to be fair, he'd have made the jokes himself. As it is Harrison probably will end up on the stage because he's a born comedian, whether this has anything to do with his condition and what Jules refers to as 'the happy gene' I don't know - it may be that he'd have been a funny fella regardless of his stature.

    We all have subjects we're sensitive about, and I guess as a parent you'd be doubly sensitive, and protective. As someone a little more distant I can see that the original comments weren't meant maliciously, and they were given as examples of opinions held by members of the wider community rather than opinions of those who posted them here, iyswim. I also think it's perfectly natural for Jules to want to try to educate people about achondroplasia; little is known about it by most of us and Julie I'm sure wants as many people as possible to understand why her son is the way he is.

    I also think cutting some slack here and accepting that Julie's perspective is quite unlike anyone else's would be fair.

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  • FizzyLizzy
    Beginner December 2004
    FizzyLizzy ·
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    WSS

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