Engagement ring spend tradition gone crazy?

I don't know how much mine was and don't really want to know. I think that a month and a half wage is a ridiculous amount of money to spend on a ring, I'd rather that amount goes into savings and I'm not saying this because my ring isn't all that. My ring is beautiful (well I think so lol) to me, it's not about the financial value, it's the fact that my fiancé picked it out for me

I don't know how much mine was and don't really want to know. I think that a month and a half wage is a ridiculous amount of money to spend on a ring, I'd rather that amount goes into savings and I'm not saying this because my ring isn't all that. My ring is beautiful (well I think so lol) to me, it's not about the financial value, it's the fact that my fiancé picked it out for me

Mine was £225.

We had a wee look at rings last year and we had no money as we'd just bought our house and were going to London right before we got the keys. I'd had my 'ring' finger on my other sized as I wanted a special ring for my birthday. I saw that one and loved it, its so dainty and perfect.

He proposed a few weeks later in London and took me completely by surprise , but to be honest, if had been a plastic one, I always would have said yes!! (although he did admit he wasn't certain I would for some reason!!).

I love him, but would have been horrified having a ring costing a 1/3 of a years salary (purely because I loose/break things far too often) and also as it would have probably left him in a lot of debt!!

S x

My df was going to delay proposing because we did not have cash for him to spend a months salary, I suggested ages ago that we use my nan's engagement ring, which she left me in her will - we ended up using this. Df said that he wants to buy me a new ring once we have some money, but I don't want to do that, the ring means loads to me!

In short, i think that it depends on each couple, there is no right way and the things are meant as a guide rather than a definitive

Mine was just short of a months wages and he earns a decent salary. I originally said dont spend that much on a ring but he was adamant he was going to spend what he thought sensible and I cant say I wish he hadnt because I love my ring.

I have had a couple of comments like "oh its small" its actually probably an average size (1/2 carat) but because of my baby like hands it suits my fingers. Its a good quality diamond, really white and it sparkles. I wont lie and say if he gave me a bigger ring I would give it back but I do think spending double the amount would be silly when we dont own a house and have yet to pay for a wedding.

When people were saying that I should be patient because he had to save up for a ring I said its not about the cost of the ring, its what the ring symbolises, hence why I wanted a cheaper one so I could get the proposal first...I still stand by that sentiment even though my ring costs more than I had told him to spend. I love my ring and its exactly what I wanted.

Some people just need to keep their noses out of other peoples business ?

That's mad! I think mine was about £200 ish, or maybe £300, but it is PERFECT and was choosen by my fiance. I wouldn't change it for the world.

Bx

I don't really think that it matters if you spend 3 months salary or 3 hours- as long as you love it- And as long as you can still afford the wedding after!

I only got engaged last week and I smile everytime I look at my wee rock Still feels very alien on my ring finger! X

My E ring was very expensive and so was my H's wedding ring. No regrets here.

Agree! My dress was 1/3 of my ring but like you say, dress is one day whereas I'll wear the engagement ring every day for the rest of my life. That being said, my ring was just shy of a months salary by accident more than because we intended it and my dress was relatively cheap because I refused to spend much on an item of clothing.

I agree - the cost is not important as long it's from someone you love and who loves you!!

I have no idea how much my ER cost. I also have no idea how much my H2B earns and vice versa. I know that he got 25% Military dicount from the jewellers though because we got the same discount for the WRs!

Now this is too much info for anyone but I was once getting a Brazilian done and was at the final, most humiliating stage where you are on your front with your backside cheeks parted (I am blushing whilst writing this!) and the lady said to me 'My god you've got a dainty ring' I was horrified and thought she was referring to something other than the ring on my finger. It was only when she started to mention the diamonds that I realised what she was actually talking about. Unfortunately I think my reaction to her comment made it all to obvious what I thought she was talking about.

Sorry, there have been so many comments about peoples dainty rings on this thread for me not to share one of the most embarrassing moments of my life.

My ring cost about a month's salary. Our wedding rings cost half as much again.

But if you think about it, they are the one thing that you will wear every single day for the rest of your life. Many people wouldn't think twice about spending upwards of £1,000 on a wedding dress which is only worn for one day.

I'm really sorry but this made me laugh so much!

My OH chose my ER & I don't think he spent too much. I hope he didn't, he knows I wouldn't feel comfortable with something ridiculously expensive! I'm scared to lose it as it is!

Mine was expensive... I don't know exactly how much but I would guess in the region of 2 months salary. Not because he felt like he should, but because he had made exactly what he wanted and I love it.

But for example, if the ring was £2k, and I wear it every day for the next 60 years... it's only 9p a day ?

Before Mr T proposed we went ring shopping, I knew he was going to anyway (as I had already started planning the wedding) so it really didnt spoil a surprise. At the time we had very little money so my ring was £90 and I loved it. Our financial situation changed and so I got a new ER which even I dont know the full value of but I do know it is stupidly expensive - but again I love it and I will wear it every day so I see nothing wrong with that. We were married with relatively cheap wedding rings which we have now upgraded as we have the money to do so.

And someone else said the important thing is that buying the ring does not put you in financial difficulty.

Exactly this.

I only know the cost because H would never sort out anything householdy like insurance so I had to have the receipt and valuation certificate for the insurers.

I'd hinted at the ring I liked, and was mortified when I no longer saw it in the window. It was £230, but he did have to have it adjusted.

I love it, and would be furious if he spent more on it. The main thing is that it is about us getting married - the fact that I have a ring I love is a bonus.

I think Mag is right about the Brit/American split. My best friend has just got engaged to an American, and her ring is very blingy.

My engagement ring was fairly expensive. We chose it together as he proposed without a ring, and he gave me a budget of a certain amount, which I think is actually roughly one month of take-home pay for him. I still chose one that was two grand less than the budget, because I have teensy fingers and a bigger diamond felt weird. But my ring is absolutely gorgeous, not too big but very pretty and sparkly and a bit unusual - I get comments on it from strangers.

I agree with those who say that it's worth the money because it is something you will wear every day for the rest of your life. I have been engaged for four months now but I still can't stop looking at my ring 100 times a day and it makes me smile every time.

However, I don't think there should be an 'expected' amount. My best friend is waiting desperately for her OH of 5 years to propose, but their financial situation isn't great, with him struggling to find full time work. She knows he has £1300 saved for a ring but he won't propose until he has more than double that, because that's what he thinks an engagement ring 'should' cost. I would hate to be in that situation! My ring was expensive because he could comfortably afford it but if all he could have afforded was £50, I'd rather have got engaged than waited another few years!!

Mind you, I do think in this country there is a lot of reverse snobbery about this. I have had comments from 'friends' that my ring is like 'Brighton rock' (it's not, it's only a 0.6 carat diamond) and that it's 'ridiculous' to spend so much on a ring (again, we didn't sacrifice anything to spend that money - we have a nice house, go on three foreign holidays a year, can afford our dream wedding, and still have savings - so why is it so 'ridiculous' to spend a few thousand pounds on a ring I am going to wear every day for the rest of my life?). I can see it a bit on this thread too - people almost turning their noses up at those who choose to spend a lot of money on a ring. Yet no one says anything about it, but if I came on here and turned my nose up at people who had cheap engagement rings (I don't, btw!) that would be picked up on straight away! It should work both ways...

Well mine wasnt a month's salary but its was £1000 which still shocked me. He got it on finance, it is platinum with a diamond and its princess cut. He chose it all himself and surprised me bless him! I wasnt involved at all, I was soooo shoched when he proposed! End of the day though it doesnt really matter, the ring is just a symbol.....your wedding bands are more important I think!

I hate it! I had loads of snide comments about mine as it is small. I love it. It is supposed to be a token of a promise to marry not a grindstone of debt hanging around his neck!

We were buying a house at the time too. I would have been mad if he spent loads. Some girls I know have demanded large stones just to show off to their friends. It's awful.

Seriously?! My god.

I gave my OH a maximum size (of 0.33carats)... because anything bigger would have driven me loopy. I've got quite skinny fingers, and narrow palms, so bigger rings looked wrong to me. OH felt guilty about the cost compared with his ex fiancee's ring, so got a "better" diamond to up the price a bit, but I love it as it's so right for me. Anything bigger wouldn't be worn properly, so it's perfect.

Me too! But I love it and it suits me!

Hee hee, we spent so little money on mine. I have tiny little fingers so a huge rock would have looked stupid - that cut down the price immediately! Then I was scared about looking after something that was too valuable in case I lost it or something (i'm a bit clumsy...) - so decided not to get anything flash. In the end, we set a rough price guide (which was actually only an EIGHTH of my husband's monthly salary!!) and because the ring I chose was a little bit more than that, I made up the difference myself! But I love my ring to bits.

I had the same thing. A friend of mine begged me to text her a picture of my ER after OH proposed. After everyone I wanted to see it first had seen it, i text her a photo and I've not heard from her since!! (January) So she doesn't like it or she's jealous. Her opinion on my ER from my OH to symbolise our love doesn't bother me in the slightest!

Mine will be 2p a day!!!

I was once asked if I would have still said yes if the ring hadn't been from the 'fancy jewellers but from Argos or something'! To this day I don't know if she has a low opinion of me (definitely not the way I think!) or if she was genuinely asking because that would have been her attitude (likes her labels etc), either way the question reflected very badly on one of us.

I get snide comments about mine because it is 'big' or 'flashy' (it's really not that big or that flashy!). So it seems you can't win!

I never bought into that tradition.

My ring is sterling silver with an amethyst stone.
my fiance paid about a days wages for it. I love it and it's perfect for me.
To me, I'd rather have a cheaper engagement ring and spend money on creating wonderful memories together. We barely have money to spare, and I didn't want my fiance getting into debt over it.

The expensive rings are beautiful though! x

This is why i dont have one at all.

If we are ever flush (as in a lottery win) i know he will get me one.

I dont need a rock on my finger to know he loves me

I was always told one months salary. The one I bought was £2400.

But you know, I've seen a lot of rings in my time....(stop giggling at the back) and the size of the ring really has no bearing on the couple and well, without being specific I'd rather attend a wedding for those who value personal relationships over material things.